We Fall For Lucas’s Banana In The Tailpipe

That rat bastard. That swindler. Is nothing sacred? How about a little honesty with your fans, you no-necked has-been. What’s got me so upset? George Lucas is releasing the original Star Wars Trilogy on DVD. The original, unaltered, non-Special-Edition, Han Shoots First, original trilogy, once referred to as the Immaculate Trilogy. The one thing fans have wanted since the DVD medium was introduced, he’s finally going to deliver. So why am I so upset?

That bastard damned near swore on a bible that he’d never release the original unaltered trilogy. The party line was that the Special Edition was his true vision for the original trilogy and would henceforth be the only true version.

Now, I’m only mentioning this because, well, it’s true: I own what I considered to be the last untainted version of Star Wars. It was a full trilogy boxed set, VHS widescreen with remastered Dolby 2.0 sound. I actually thought I’d lost it until I was at my friend’s house a year or two ago and saw it. I remarked that I used to have a copy like that to which he informed me that that was my copy. Happy, I retrieved it and celebrated having a copy of Star Wars with good sound and, more importantly, Han shooting Greedo. The original didn’t turn Mos Eisley into a Jawa comedy scene. The original didn’t turn Jabba’s palace into a premiere Tatooine jazz club. It had an ewok song that echoes fondly in my heart, despite the cutesy scene of Wicket the Fuckwit, Leia cocaines-a-helluva-drug Organa and Han ‘Mr.Sarcastic’ Solo hugging. — One day I’ll regale you with why I hate Return of the Jedi so much, but not now. —

Technically, those are my only complaints about the Special Editions. I like ‘em actually. With the except the wacky antics on Tatooine, most every other “Special Edition” change was, well, special. Which is what pisses me off even more.

I only bought that god damned Special Edition because I knew there was no way I’d ever own a great quality copy of the original. I put in my VHS tapes a year ago to show a Star Wars virgin some of the changes and was shocked, shocked I say, at the contrast in quality between the Special Edition DVDs and the VHS (Very Hazy Shitvision) versions. I only bought it because you said I could never have the original! You bastard! You moved the headstones but you left the body, didnj’ya! You only moved the headstones! Bleaaeae!

I have to buy this new trilogy when it comes out (limited time only, September 12th through December!). I really don’t have a choice. I was burned time and time again by the hope and expectations of the prequels – burned so badly that at first viewing I actually enjoyed them, until a few days later I’d think back in review and realize: WTF WAS I THINKING?! (Although, I’m still a pretty big fan of Revenge of the Sith, as long as you fast forward through any scene with Padme talking.)

That bastard.

Episode 7 setback

Bad news: its not done yet. Good news: the site is kicking and the DVDs are on the way…

Bad News: My hard drive here at work crashed and took Ep7 with it. So there will be delays. Fortunately, I have a somewhat complete backup copy, so hopefully the setback won’t be too major.

Good News: I’ve decided to stop being a lazy ass and start giving you good people some web content. So look to the right for some links to cast info, reviews, etc.

More Good News: Q has completed the first Sci-Fi Guys DVD, and it kicks more ass than Grimlock at a Sharkticon… you know… thing. Jesus, I’ve lost the ability to be witty. Screw it; just email Q and tell him thanks for taking my stupid little show and putting it in all your grubby… clutchy little… hands.


Thanks for watching,

Episode 6 – “Warp 11″

The Sci-Fi Guys: Episode 6 – “Warp 11″ is finally completed. I just verified the finished DVD burn, and at a final running time of 28min, 48sec, we are ready for air! This is the first episode I have ever edited digitally (Quentin, if you ever stick me with editing again, I will KILL you), and is also the only episode to date that none of us are in; besides the opening montage there is not a single frame of footage of any of us anywhere in the episode.

Continue reading “Episode 6 – “Warp 11″”

Episode Six and all others

Chris and I have gotten together and laid out a rough cut of Episode 6. There are a few more pieces of the show that need to be grabbed requiring the filming of the other Guys, but once that’s done it’ll be sent off to air.

I’ve also completed the first revision of the DVD Archives, by far the most exhaustive work I’ve done for a DVD. I’m in the process of cleaning up and tightening the menus and making them more generic for each volume set so that I don’t need perform a six-hour grudge-fest for every volume we complete. I expect Volume I: Episodes One and Two to be completed in two weeks. Talk to Chris about distribution, he’ll set you straight.

Episode Five Schedule

Episode 5: The Sci-Fi Guys Strike Back has its schedule posted. If you’re in Northern Kentucky watching cable on Insight, please check us out:

Channel 21
Tuesdays at 11PM
Thursdays at 5PM