Works With Lego: My Foot

Click the pic to find out if my foot Works With Lego! (SPOILER ALERT: the answer is no, it most assuredly does not.)

On my way back from a midnight pee, I stepped on something incredibly painful. I knew it had to be a Lego. Only it wasn’t, exactly. But I didn’t bother looking for it in the dark. I limped back to bed and awoke several hours later to a throbbing foot and a comforter stained with little pools of dried blood. And a hunk of missing foot meat.

A couple of days ago, I was tinkering with my MOC Engine hoist, when it slipped off a six foot shelf and EXPLODED all over my hardwood floor. I thought I’d found all the pieces. But that’s just what the pieces wanted me to think.

Here’s the culprit. Well, not the exact one, but two of its cousins. A Tyco Blocks 4×3 red roof slope from 1986. You might think a hunk of thirty-seven year old plastic would be fragile by now, but nope! Tyco made these bastards to last. Unlike my ability to walk, the piece was entirely unaffected. I never did find the chunk of skin this thing bit off of me in the night. I can only assume the roof slope consumed it, and is now even stronger than it was before. And the verdict? Is my foot something that Works With Lego… or Tyco Blocks? HELL NO. This son of a bitch hurts.

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