Works With Lego: Dragon Alliance

This is an odd one. These transformable monsters not only form a larger super-bot, but at the time I bought them they were marketed as being Lego compatible. As you can imagine, I had to know. Click the pic and we’ll find out if the Dragon Alliance team Works With Lego!

I can’t recall how I heard about these, but they were advertised as being Lego compatible. I swear they were. But looking at the packaging, that isn’t mentioned anywhere. And now that I’ve gone back to look at the description, I can no longer find a single listing online that promises these things are Lego compatible. Not one. But I wouldn’t have bought them otherwise. These things just scream “easily broken Chinese crap.” Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be any evidence to back up my claim, so you’ll just have to take my word.

As you can see, there are a lot of holes and clips on these things. They definitely look like you’re supposed to be able to use Lego studs or rods in at least some of them. But, no dice. Every single port and protrusion you see in the picture above is absolutely incompatible with any Lego element I could find. They’re not even close. It’s like they went out of their way NOT to be compatible, even accidentally. Needless to say, I was frustrated.

It should surprise absolutely no one that there were no instructions included for transforming these things, nor for assembling the nameless larger robot. The manufacturer provided the pics above on Amazon, but as you can see from the chest details, they didn’t even assemble these things the same way twice in their own fucking advertising. The cheap Chinese plastic feels like it’s ready to snap, so I didn’t go through the trouble of figuring out how to assemble it.

Since they didn’t bother naming these bots, I’ll take the liberty. This is Shitwing. His primary function is to be the only member of the team who is not a complete disappointment. To this end, he sports the ONLY Lego compatible connection points on any of these stupid toys. And where does Shitwing have these Lego ports? Why, only the most useful place a battle ready transforming dragon robot could possibly have them, of course – his ankles.

That’s right kids, it’s the new and improved Shitwing, now with Lego-compatible Action Ankles!™

In the strictest literal sense, this one robot is – in the most useless way fathomable – technically Lego compatible. Technically. But even then just barely. The fit is incredibly snug, and it feels like either the leg or the Lego might be unduly stressed. Since the cheap plastic this robot is made of feels too rigid to bend much, I think it’s more likely that this thing would just snap from the pressure of having a Lego in there.

If you’ve read this far my final judgment should come as no surprise. Dragon Alliance does NOT Work With Lego. At this point I’m not 100% convinced Shitwing’s Lego compatible ankles were even made that way on purpose. Don’t buy these bots if you’re looking for Lego compatibility. In fact, just don’t buy them at all. Despite the fact that I build with Lego for fun, and I collect both official and bootleg Transformers, I can’t imagine I will ever touch these things again. They look cheap. They feel cheap. And no matter how unique they may be, Action Ankles™ do not a Lego compatible robot make. So, until next time…

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