I’m happy to report that although I am almost certain to die alone, when I die I will die with more toys than ANY of you.
Seriously, I could literally not move from this spot and still reach at least 20 different toys. And that’s not including all my video games. It’s ridiculous. I’m like a giant 8 year old. No wonder I can’t keep a woman.
If I get up and take one single step, I can actually get a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. And not a new one.