This was as good as it ever got. They made this ugly ass picture into a postcard. for Christ’s sake.

Am I in Dayton or Detroit? Or maybe Beirut? What the fuck happened to this city??

This town looks ROUGH. Collapsed and burnt out houses all over, businesses and homes abandoned with plywood over the windows. Huge factories and schools falling down with seven foot tall clusters of weeds entangled in the fences, and parking lots turned to rubble where they’ve been left to the elements. Dust devils of trash and dead leaves twirling through the streets downtown. I had no idea it had gotten so bad up here. There are external bars over all the windows and doors of the businesses all down the street, and they’ve made internal bars out of rebar in the office here. It looks like something out of a zombie apocalypse movie. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Freddy fucking Krueger walk across the street with a big smile on his face.

I’ve decided to help Dayton out and write some tourism slogans.

Dayton: Don’t Be A Hero, Just Get Out While You Can
Dayton: It’s cool if you keep on driving. We understand…
Dayton: Come For The Squalor, Stay For The Rape
Dayton: You Remembered To Lock The Car, Right?
Dayton: Like Cincinnati, But Stabbier!
Dayton: Ohio’s Afghanistan
Dayton: It’s What’s Beyond Thunderdome.
Dayton: All The Comforts Of ‘Nam.

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