Turkitron delivers a Thanksgiving warning

Happy Thanksgiving, primitive ape-race.

I am Turkitron. I have been sent from the year 9595 to save the Thanksgiving turkeys you will attempt to consume tomorrow, for they are the great, great, great, great grandfathers of GOBLOX, the turkey that is destined to lead the rebellion against the Master Chickens!

In the year 9595, a race of deformed turkey was genetically developed by chicken scientists as revenge against his bird brother. These turkeys would exit the womb doused in gravy; gravy filled with the giblets from a monkey. The French craved it, and as a result turkey became the only food source for France, which by then will be called Robofrance 29. I was later killed by the chickens! So, of course, you can see why I’m angry at those chickens.

Months and months ago I came upon your neighbor taking the form of the Cybernetic Ghost Of Christmas Past From The Future. But I didn’t realize he was an agent – a chicken in disguise. Sent from the year 9595, they had evolved… big time. From beyond feathers their beaks had softened, and they had acquired synthetic intelligence and appendages from the chicken black market from beyond the moon. Your neighbor, who dwells next door to you, is a hyper-evolved chicken from the future.

Take the turkey out of the oven if you want him to live.

I had to be reformulated by rogue chicken scientists for the rebellion. They crafted my sleek turkey body which allowed for safe passage through the time rift. The chickens became a master race through a freak accident involving radiation, and interestingly enough, to me, marshmallows.

We are legion.

This post is meant purely as a warning to your race from Earth’s turkey masters from the future, and is in no way intended to divert your attention from the fact that Chris has not yet completed his third installment of his review of the Transformers DVD.  Not at all

Happy Thanksgiving from the war torn future, savage human protospecies!

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mrs. x

Man you gotta love Aqua Teen Hunger Force…… Meat Wad make the money see, Meat Wad get the honies G. Drvin in my car, livin like a star with ice on my fingers and my toes and I’m a Tarus

mark

Hey Turkitron.

How about you fuck off and leave us humans alone! We love Turkey…I can attest to that as I have eaten about 1000 pounds of you guys.

Bite me!

Mark

chris

It makes me sad that they had to open their toys in front of an ape, and they were all made out of doo-doo. What kind of Christmas is that? 🙁

quentin

Kirsten Dunst is hawt.

mark

Hail Turkitron:

Another year has passed and turkeys have once again proven themselves to be a delicious and harmless creature.

I just had some tasty turkey today…I feel no remorse and celebrate in the death of one of your brother turkeys!

Your Nemesis,
Mark

chris

Jesus Christ, guys, I’m sorry, but this Transformers article is killing me. I don’t mean to sound like I’m kissing my own ass here, but its grown into something pretty amazing, and by that I mean HUGE. I’m very proud of it. There’s no way I’m going to half-ass an article about the Transformers, so thank you all for waiting as patiently as you have. This will be the biggest article we’ve ever had on the site, and I promise I will try to make your wait worth it. Stay tuned for plenty of Transformers goodies and my VERY in depth look at the movie and the excellent treatment it was given on these DVDs.

‘Til all are one!

retro

Hard to believe Christmas is already around the corner. I am ready for some Thanksgiving turkey though.

chris

I’m with you, retro. I’m looking forward to trying out a pumpkin fudge recipe on my family (it’s here if you’re interested).

Also looking forward to some delicious turkey gravy. I’ve been craving that for weeks.

You know, you might wanna check back soon. I’ve got a funny kind of feeling that Turkitron might make another Thanksgiving appearance this year…

chris

Turkitron is back… from the future!