Pepsi Convoy

Pepsi is chock full of vitamins,
Chock full of minerals,
High in fiber and electrolytes!

Pepsi repels mosquitos,
Will lower the crime rate,
Brings old people back to life!

When you drink a Pepsi
You can understand
What elephants say to other elephants!

If you’re taking a cab,
And you need some change,
You can ask Pepsi, it’ll loan you a dollar.

‘Cause Pepsi likes everyone!… except for its father; they had a bad relationship. But nobody’s perfect. Before you judge Pepsi, look in the mirror. When was the last time you called your dad?

Chris digs the Transformers 3 Flip-Outs at Burger King

Attention TransFans: the TF3 Flip-Outs kids meal toys at Burger King might be of interest. I just picked up Optimus Prime and Megatron. Not gonna open Megs up, because, like Shania Twain, it don’t impress me much. But Optimus is nice. Not because of the toy, which is kind of useless, but because the “Autobots, roll out!” audio clip it plays really is Peter Cullen’s voice. That’s a win for a $1 toy a disgruntled, poorly trained teenage burger monkey hands you through your car window.

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I’m happy to report that although I am almost certain to die alone, when I die I will die with more toys than ANY of you.

Seriously, I could literally not move from this spot and still reach at least 20 different toys. And that’s not including all my video games. It’s ridiculous. I’m like a giant 8 year old. No wonder I can’t keep a woman.

If I get up and take one single step, I can actually get a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. And not a new one.