Slap Bracelet

I saw this claim online, and I just assumed it was more internet bullshit. So I cut one open to find out for myself. I apologize, internet. It’s absolutely true. Slap bracelets are made of tape measure reels. My brain is still coming to terms with this revelation. It’s so hard to believe.

Be Better

Christmas will be here soon, and a lot of you forgot my birthday. I’m just sayin’… do the right thing.

Nerd

In x days I will be x5 + xx + x years old.

Or x^(xx + x/x) + xx + x, if you prefer it without numerals.