Kasey Kasem played the voice of Cliffjumper in the 1980s Transformers series. In the 1986 movie, Cliffjumper provided the pre-launch countdown before the launch of a critical shuttle mission. The countdown. It’s 28 years later, and I JUST got the joke. Well played, Mr. Kasem. And now, on with the countdown!

The scene is in no way played for laughs, and it’s in the beginning of the story, so it is in the midst of building tension and action. Trust me, I’ve seen this movie FAR more than any mentally healthy person ever should, so if anyone should be kicking himself it’s me. But I’m cutting myself some slack on this one, because the animation during this whole sequence is just so goddamned PRETTY. Your eyes really do kind of take over and you get pulled into the moment. I didn’t think it was possible, but I think I may actually love this movie a little more now. After almost 30 years, it’s given me something new to smile about.

My description here is for anyone who might read this and have no clue what the hell I’m going on about. I find it’s safe to assume whomever I’m talking to has never seen The Transformers: The Movie. You have no idea how many people in my presence have referred to that 2007 Michael Bay travesty as the “first” Transformers movie. And every time, I can feel the adamantium claws just aching to pop out.

The Truth Is Out There

So The X-Files was all about trying to prove the existence of aliens, and Transformers are giant robots that everybody KNOWS are aliens. I’m not getting how this upcoming crossover is supposed to work.

They’re alien robots from the planet Cybertron. They prove alien life exists, at least in robot form. So why would Mulder have such a hard time convincing anyone that aliens could be real?? Also, the cover has The Lone Gunmen on it, and they died before the series ended. So this is not making a ton of sense to me so far.


I’m happy to report that although I am almost certain to die alone, when I die I will die with more toys than ANY of you.

Seriously, I could literally not move from this spot and still reach at least 20 different toys. And that’s not including all my video games. It’s ridiculous. I’m like a giant 8 year old. No wonder I can’t keep a woman.

If I get up and take one single step, I can actually get a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. And not a new one.

Chris reviews “The Big Broadcast Of 2006”

“The Big Broadcast Of 2006″… straight from 1987. This is in no way a holiday article, but this is my last chance to review this in the year 2006, and I’m not going to miss my opportunity. So without further delay, let’s take a look at this third season episode of The Transformers, starring my favorite insane robots made out of garbage, the Junkions!

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