Like most offices, mine has a junk desk where everyone dumps random supplies, knickknacks, old DVDs, paperbacks, etc., for whomever wants them. I’ve been making good use of it since I was hired. Nothing unusual about it. Or so I thought.

Artist’s rendering of my desk. Number of these items I’ve actually purchased: 0.

Last night when I got to work the desk had been emptied, and there was a banner on the cubicle wall that said “Good luck, Mike! We’ll miss you!” Apparently my office does not, in fact, have a junk desk. Turns out I’ve been stealing from whoever Mike is for a little over a year and a half.

This could be Mike, for all I know.

The worst part is that the majority of the stuff I took decorates my desk in plain view of the whole office, as if to proudly and defiantly say “Fuck you, Mike. It’s mine now.” And now that I know Mike was here, he’s gone. I have no way to give him his stuff back. So guess what? Fuck you, Mike. It’s mine now.

But still, I’m sorry, Mike. I honestly didn’t know you existed.

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BBBWWWAAHHHHAAAAA!!!!!! Wow, that’s just strange mess there, Chris!

Lily Hayes Eisele

I am rolling! That is just precious!

Kristina Reinert

Oh my.. I just snorted while giggling.. ROFL!!


Fuck Mike. You don’t owe him anything. What’s he ever done for you?

Shelly Fogel


Fred Thiess

Awww…sounds like you will be missing him the most. Steal the banner and hang it in your cubicle.


I hope you didn’t steal his red stapler…