I feel it in my fingers. I feel it in my toes…

“Hiya, kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill: don’t buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free.”

I’d love to tell you I watch Love, Actually once a year, but when Christmastime rolls around I end up watching it about a dozen times. Every second Rowan Atkinson is on screen is pure magic. I eat chocolates with a goofy ass smile on my face and shake my ass during the Prime Minister’s dance scene. And I say in my head, “Dude, go after her!” every time the writer watches his housekeeper walk away, and it always breaks my heart just a little. Basically I turn into a big hairy girl for about an hour and a half.

“Oh, this isn’t a bag, sir… This is SO much more than a bag…”

“Okay, Dad. Let’s do it. Let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love.”

“There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?”

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