Halloween 2023: October 10ᵗʰ – Ghost Pepper Creamy Curry Lontong Ramen

I promise I am not going to flood your feed with ghost pepper articles. In fact, this will be the last one this Halloween. But if you click the pic you will get to see the hottest goddamned bowl of noodles I’ve ever eaten.

There has only ever been one Asian meal of my life so hot I could not finish it. This was a close second. Unlike the unfinished meal, however, these noodles were so good I pushed my way through. But I’m not going to pretend it was easy. Of course, that was partly my fault.

Right there on the package it warned me not to add the whole packet of ghost pepper oil. Not unless I was mental.

And again, right there on the fiery red ghost pepper extract packet itself, written and circled in yellow, I was warned.

They even included a card with a gruff looking but helpful monster to let me know that this was, in all probability, going to be hot as hell. But did I listen?

No, I did not. You did not come here to read the story of a man who only added a few drops of ghost pepper oil to his ramen. The whole goddamned packet went in. My regret was instantaneous. The hot water steamed that extract oil right up into my eyes and nose. I was effectively pepper-sprayed by my lunch. It HURT.

Look at all that beautiful capsaicin swirling in that broth. So much pain, so much pleasure. To their credit, the people at Mamee didn’t just make this stuff hot. It was delectable. All kidding aside, this ramen is absolutely delicious. And the first few bites weren’t so bad. But the heat builds and builds. It is relentless. I was sweating like I was running in the summer sun. This stuff is so fucking hot. But so fucking good.

Because I am not a pussy, and because I know what is expected of me, I drank the soup. If anything it was even more delicious than the noodles. But seconds after I finished it, the pepper oil started a growing heat in my stomach that intensified for the better part of an hour. It wasn’t painful exactly, but it was, frankly, scary. It occurred to me that it might end up being the way I died. Just know that if you drink the soup, you’re going to survive. But you’re gonna sweat your ass off the whole time. This shit is not for amateurs.

Today’s Skull Of The Day is my new window hanger, because I’ve perspired all the salt and water out of my body, and this is the best my dehydrated brain can manage today.

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