Halloween 2022: Oct. 12ᵗʰ – Monster Mash Cereal

“Monster Mash,” in cereal parlance, refers to a mix of equal parts Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo Berry in the same bowl. But did you know that General Mills released their own premixed Monster Mash, which also contains Fruity Yummy Mummy and Fruit Brute? Click the pic and try a spoonful!

I have been saving this box for a while now. Yes, it’s a couple of months past it’s best by date. No, I do not care. I’ve been waiting all year for this. Actually, all year and a day.

I will not forget the day I bought this: December 31st, 2021. I didn’t know it existed, and I happened across some marked down to a dollar a box. I was amazed this had escaped my attention long enough to become a clearance item, but I giddily grabbed a couple of boxes and handed over the cash. I got to the car and pulled out my phone, eager to share this find with my fellow Halloween lovers, but as I fired up the camera I got a notification ding. And the news that accompanied that ding would derail my Monster Mash enthusiasm, as well as much of my joy of celebrating the New Year. Betty White had died.

Betty Marion White Ludden, January 17, 1922 – December 31, 2021

The Golden Girls is one of my all time favorite television shows, but more than that, over the previous few years the entire world had fallen in love with Betty White all over again. She was everywhere, and she was killing it. People were going out of their way to tell me they were Golden Girls fans themselves, in friendly recognition of my love for the show. The world’s love for Betty was weirdly unifying, and I didn’t feel like being the harbinger of bad tidings. The last of my Golden Girls was gone, and I didn’t want to spread the grief. I went to my parents’ house to begin preparations for the annual New Years Day family celebration, but I made the decision not to tell Mom and Dad about Betty. I knew someone would bring it up the next day. It was inevitable. Better to let the folks enjoy their New Year’s Eve now and save the bad news for later. Let them ring in the New Year without knowing there was one less beautiful light in the world. I wish I could have.

Okay, enough of that. Before I get too damned sad all over again, let’s hop in the DeLorean and jump to Halloween 2022.

I’ve reported my experience making my own Monster Mash, a delectable six cereal monstrosity I called “Weird Science.” But this is different. General Mills mixed this, shipped this, and slapped their logo on it. This Monster Mash is official.

The marshmallows got a little soft from sitting around for ten months, but the cereal itself is as crunchy and fresh as a new box. Expired or not, this stuff smells delightful. Fruity Yummy Mummy has a distinct citrus aroma, which I wasn’t getting from this mix. But the rich berry aroma of Frankenberry and Boo Berry were present, and I even thought I detected a little cherry courtesy of Fruit Brute. Could have been wishful thinking, but I really thought I smelled it.

You’ll notice this says berry flavored. Not citrus, and not chocolate. When eating this it is immediately apparent that Count Chocula is underrepresented in this mix. I can see that there are brown and white swirled bats, but I was getting no chocolate at all from this stuff. And that just won’t do. Fortunately, General Mills also sells the perfect cure for this malady.

Boom! The big three monster cereals come in individual snack packs that can be given away as Halloween treats. Kind of a genius move on General Mills’s part to move these cereals to the realm of trick-or-treat material. And it works to fix Monster Mash as well.

One snack pack of Count Chocula brings exactly the right amount of cocoa needed to make a bowl of Monster Mash perfect. The berry and chocolate combination is so tasty that I’m having trouble understanding why the Count wasn’t included in the first place. No lie, this stuff is AWESOME.

I’m not sure what you would add to get the lemony kick of Fruity Yummy Mummy. I think Fruity Pebbles would be your best bet. But that’s irrelevant, because Monster Mash plus Count Chocula is already kind of perfect. I can’t imagine that citrus would really add anything here. Truth be told, I can’t imagine much of anything would add to this. This porridge is just right, Goldilocks. It tastes like Halloween.

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