Category: Weird Science

I have long had an interest in the Roman emperor Caligula, both the historically accurate person and the superhumanly depraved monster of legend. So I was fascinated to hear that the remains of his palace had been discovered buried in the heart of Rome, where it had lain hidden for nearly two thousand years.

Tonight I was reminded of something that happened to me a long time ago, and although it was never a secret, I honestly don’t think I’ve ever told anyone. But if you’re interested in knowing about relativity and/or the real me, read on.

I took an astronomy course the summer between high school and college. In order to really see the night sky clearly you need to give your eyes about three hours away from light pollution, so we all went out to the middle of a golf course, spread blankets, and just chilled in the dark for three hours. There was a girl I was kind of sweet on, and to my surprise she and I talked to the exclusion of everyone around us the entire time. I didn’t think she was interested in me, but those three hours just flew by. Before I knew it, the instructor had gathered the class around a telescope, but she and I were in our own little world and didn’t hear a thing. He was incredibly cool about it. I think he saw what was happening long before we did. He walked over to us, and with nothing but kind amusement in his voice, said, “Hey, guys. Look up.”

I’m not religious, and I don’t want to overstate things, but I’m not exaggerating when I tell you it looked like God had thrown the master switch and turned all the lights on. It was ASTOUNDING. There were thousands of stars, of all sizes and brightness. I could see colors splashed across the sky I never knew were there. It was breathtaking. And when I finally looked down, I had my arm around her. I didn’t even know I had done it. But the moment was overwhelming, and in that fleeting instant, all my teenage insecurities and self doubts just silently vanished like they were never there, and I reached out for what I wanted most right then. Love. Connection.

Her.

That was a pretty magical night. My seventeen year old self didn’t realize it at the time, but that’s the day I found out how personally important love and wonder and science are to me. And how those things are in no way unconnected. That’s the day I found out I was a romantic. Which means I am a ridiculous human being sometimes. Just unmanageably, unforgivably ridiculous. I am dramatic and emotional and way too intense. I own those faults. But they’re also my strengths, because my forty-seven year old self finally has the wherewithal to see that I’m at my absolute purest and best when I love something full bore. Because, deep down, for better or worse, that’s who I am. It’s who I’m supposed to be.

And I will never stop reaching for her.

So it turns out I actually CAN successfully replace the magnetron in a microwave. And not get myself electrocuted. I’m counting that as two separate wins.

Something else of note: if you paid for a $1200 top of the line Maytag microwave, what you actually got is a $300 Samsung. Samsung power supply, Samsung magnetron, Samsung circuit board… it was fucking ridiculous.

Five species of venomous snakes can compress their bodies into a functional airfoil, allowing them to glide and control their flight. “Flying snakes are able to glide better than flying squirrels and other gliding animals, despite the lack of limbs, wings, or any other wing-like projections, gliding through the forest and jungle it inhabits with the distance being as great as 100 m.” Note to self: KILL ALL THE SNAKES.

Click the pic to read the flying snakes article on Wikipedia. The DOD is already studying these slithering tubes of nightmare fuel.

Tsutomu Yamaguchi was in Hiroshima on a business trip when the bomb was detonated. He spent the night in Hiroshima, then took a train back to his hometown… Nagasaki. He returned home on August 8, one day before the nuke was dropped there, which he also survived. That was 1945. He died at the age of 93, in 2010. Hey, Japan: HARVEST THIS MAN’S DNA. The world could use an invincible superhero.