Chris digs the Transformers 3 Flip-Outs at Burger King

Attention TransFans: the TF3 Flip-Outs kids meal toys at Burger King might be of interest. I just picked up Optimus Prime and Megatron. Not gonna open Megs up, because, like Shania Twain, it don’t impress me much. But Optimus is nice. Not because of the toy, which is kind of useless, but because the “Autobots, roll out!” audio clip it plays really is Peter Cullen’s voice. That’s a win for a $1 toy a disgruntled, poorly trained teenage burger monkey hands you through your car window.

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Luthor vs. Skeletor

Click to enlarge with the power of Grayskull!

I saw this at TRU the other day, and almost bought it for its sheer weird 1980s wonderfulness. How does this happen? Who makes the decision to cross these franchises and pit these two characters against each other? What insane genius decided to sculpt and color these characters in their early ’80s appearances? And why the hell does it cost $30? ‘Cause I think if it had been $25 I would probably own it right now. But $30? Nope. They lost me. Just barely, but they lost me.

By the way, Mattel, if you release a Darkseid vs. Hordak set, I promise I will own that shit at any price. Just throwin’ it out there.

Michael Bay Can Suck My Dick

This is a new Transformer from the upcoming Transformers: Dark Of The Moon. It is a NASCAR stock car that turns into a robot with a mullet. In case that didn’t register I will repeat it: it’s a NASCAR robot WITH A FUCKING MULLET. You understand that he’s making fun of you, right? He mocked black people in the last film and now he’s mocking NASCAR fans. And in the end, if you see this movie, he’s mocking you.

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Winning

I’m happy to report that although I am almost certain to die alone, when I die I will die with more toys than ANY of you.

Seriously, I could literally not move from this spot and still reach at least 20 different toys. And that’s not including all my video games. It’s ridiculous. I’m like a giant 8 year old. No wonder I can’t keep a woman.

If I get up and take one single step, I can actually get a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. And not a new one.

Mega Orthanc

There’s no easy way to draw attention to one’s own creations without sounding at least a little like a pompous ass, so instead of trying to avoid it I’m just gonna dive in headlong. HEY, EVERYBODY, LOOKY WHAT I MADE!!

Yep, it’s Lego Orthanc. Well, really I should call it Mega Orthanc, since easily 99% of this is made from the far-superior-for-castle-building Mega Bloks Dragon Wars bricks. To give you a sense of scale, I’ve got 10 foot ceilings, but it’s standing on an 18 inch tall table. I’d ballpark it to be in the seven to seven and a half foot range.

Sci-Fi Girl and I built this a couple of years ago and it’s been smashed up in a big Rubbermaid bin for a long time. I finally got it back together in something very much like its original form. The pics aren’t that great, so just look at them and then sprinkle on about 30% more awesomeness in your head. That’s what it looks like in real life. Sprinkles of awesomeness.

Click the pic for a closeup of the top. If you look really closely, you can see the tiny Gandalf trapped up there. Only don’t look too hard because I’m 100% lying. The only thing up there is dust.