BLACK FRIDAY BARGAIN!: $2 DIY Christmas Robot

Step 1: Go to Dollar Tree and locate the cleverly named “ROBOT” toys. Find the non-transforming Snaps Apart! Posable! ones above; you’ll need a yellow/black one and a white/green one. You’ll also need a Phillips screwdriver, but I’m not including that in the price. You should have one already. If you don’t, consider Step 1.5 to be “Get your life together and get a damn screwdriver.”

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Halloween 2020: Chris resurrects the Slime Pit!

What do you do if it’s almost Halloween and you need to slime some action figures, but you can’t find your Masters Of The Universe Evil Horde Slime Pit? If you’re Chris, you gather up some spare parts and build your own. This is our first new Halloween article in quite some time, and it’s a big one. So come up to the lab and see what’s on the slab… it’s time to get your goop on!

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From The Archives: Ghostbusters Minimates Design Sheets And Prototypes

I must have been a busy boy back in 2009. I have so many folders of unpublished material from that year that it makes me wonder what the hell I was doing instead of writing. Come on in and check out these design sheets and prototype photos for Diamond Select Toys/Art Asylum’s then upcoming line of Ghostbusters Minimates!

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Toys That Rock: Stormtrooper TS-1258

Armor by The First Order. Survival bag, holdout blaster, and shoulder holster by FN-2187. Phaser belt and phaser courtesy of Kelvin timeline Spock. Custom SG “Scorpion” by RetSpan Audionics & Luthiers of the Smuggler’s Moon of Nar Shaddaa. Stage monitors, amplifiers, and line array courtesy of Barbie And The Rockers.
Toys That Rock is going back on tour. We’re gettin’ the band back together!

Chris digs the Transformers 3 Flip-Outs at Burger King

Attention TransFans: the TF3 Flip-Outs kids meal toys at Burger King might be of interest. I just picked up Optimus Prime and Megatron. Not gonna open Megs up, because, like Shania Twain, it don’t impress me much. But Optimus is nice. Not because of the toy, which is kind of useless, but because the “Autobots, roll out!” audio clip it plays really is Peter Cullen’s voice. That’s a win for a $1 toy a disgruntled, poorly trained teenage burger monkey hands you through your car window.

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Luthor vs. Skeletor

Click to enlarge with the power of Grayskull!

I saw this at TRU the other day, and almost bought it for its sheer weird 1980s wonderfulness. How does this happen? Who makes the decision to cross these franchises and pit these two characters against each other? What insane genius decided to sculpt and color these characters in their early ’80s appearances? And why the hell does it cost $30? ‘Cause I think if it had been $25 I would probably own it right now. But $30? Nope. They lost me. Just barely, but they lost me.

By the way, Mattel, if you release a Darkseid vs. Hordak set, I promise I will own that shit at any price. Just throwin’ it out there.

Michael Bay Can Suck My Dick

This is a new Transformer from the upcoming Transformers: Dark Of The Moon. It is a NASCAR stock car that turns into a robot with a mullet. In case that didn’t register I will repeat it: it’s a NASCAR robot WITH A FUCKING MULLET. You understand that he’s making fun of you, right? He mocked black people in the last film and now he’s mocking NASCAR fans. And in the end, if you see this movie, he’s mocking you.

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