You’ll taste a distant strawberry cream flavor as long as you keep this stuff moving over your tongue, but the instant that motion stops you will realize what you purchased was a whole case of carbonated extra-strength cherry cough syrup.
Even the presence of Christopher Lloyd couldn’t save this mindless, rough-draft turd of a script from being the first truly stupid episode of the series.
Watching Halloween Ends was like watching a boring Halloween reboot, but someone changed the channel halfway through to a melodramatic, made-for-TV remake of The Lost Boys with no vampires or plot, then turned it back to the weird and unsatisfying end of the Halloween movie… except less interesting in every way.
Here’s a look at our Halloween so far!
THE SCI-FI GUYS HALLOWEEN 2022
Oct. 1ˢᵗ – Draculus
Oct. 2ⁿᵈ – Coffee mate Pumpkin Spice Creamer & Roll For Burger
Oct. 3ʳᵈ – Mel-O-Cream Bites
Oct. 4ᵗʰ – Netflix’s The Haunting Of Hill House, Episodes 1-7
Oct. 5ᵗʰ – The Body
Oct. 6ᵗʰ – Burmese Crispy Beans
Oct. 7ᵗʰ – The Ring
Oct. 8ᵗʰ – Werewolf By Night
Oct. 9ᵗʰ – Friday The 13th (2009)
Oct. 10ᵗʰ – Pumpkin Everything
Oct. 11ᵗʰ – A Very Pepsi Halloween
Oct. 12ᵗʰ – Monster Mash Cereal
Oct. 13ᵗʰ – Smarties Halloween Skinz
Oct. 14ᵗʰ – Netflix’s The Haunting Of Hill House
Oct. 15ᵗʰ – Ghost Energy
Oct. 16ᵗʰ – Hot Wheels Slime + Cars
Oct. 17ᵗʰ – “What’s in the box?!”
Oct. 18ᵗʰ – One-Sentence Reviews: Halloween Ends
Oct. 19ᵗʰ – McDonald’s Halloween Pails & Roll For Burger: Take 2
Oct. 20ᵗʰ – The Ghost Pepper Whopper
If you’ve ever said to yourself, “I wish this Coke was even sweeter, but I also kinda wish it tasted like lavender scented liquid soap,” then, buddy, have I got a product for you!
FINALLY, a drive through menu item that actually delivers on both the deliciousness and the Scoville Heat Units I’m looking for when I say I’m hungry for something spicy.Continue reading “One-Sentence Reviews: Arby’s Diablo Chicken Sandwich”
The original Cowboy Bebop was animated, but Netflix’s Cowboy Bebop is a puerile, lowbrow fucking cartoon.
Yearly Departed is a funeral service for the year 2020, and one of the funniest comedy specials I have seen in YEARS.
I’m ten minutes into Bumblebee and it’s already better than all the previous live action Transformers films combined.
Pepsi Fire tastes a little like whiskey, a little like medicine, and a whole lot like some shit I would only drink again at gunpoint.
If you’re interested, I know the big spoiler for Star Wars, and it’s the same thing that spoiled Star Trek: J.J. Abrams.