These aren’t bad, really, but on a holiday so closely associated with sweets there are definitely more flavorful ways to shove excess sugar in your face: 5.7 out of 10.
One-Sentence Reviews: Easter Sundae M&M’s
One-Sentence Reviews: Graeter’s Skyline Sundae
The whipped cream was nice, but the dark chocolate flavor of the hot fudge does not play well with the spices in the ice cream; 6 out of 10.
Graeter’s Skyline Spice Ice Cream
I’m not new to the swapping of meat spices and dessert spices. Remember Figgy Pudding Spam? That was good. But this is PHENOMENAL. If you’re wanting to try an ice cream that tastes like chili, you’re going to be deeply disappointed. This doesn’t taste at all like Cincinnati style chili, or any other kind of meat concoction. There is nothing remotely savory about it. If I tried this stuff blindfolded I would never have guessed it was supposed to be Skyline spice. Because it tastes like something else, something very specific that I thought of with literally every single spoonful I put in my mouth.
It tastes like Christmas. Imagine every spice you love in holiday treats, all perfectly balanced with just the right combination of sugar and salt, nutmeg and cinnamon, and an ice cream so custardy it almost tastes like egg nog. I would gladly eat this year round, but this just screams to be turned into a recurring McRib-esque holiday tradition. If Graeter’s and Skyline don’t start selling this stuff every year when the lights go on the trees, they will be missing a HUGE opportunity.
I’m going to do something I rarely do. Something I’ve only done four other times in the twentysomething years I have been spewing my unsolicited opinions over the airwaves and intertubes like a busted fire hydrant full of pressurized words. I’m giving this a 9.5 out of 10. I’ve never given a higher rating to anything. This is without question one of the best ice creams I have ever tasted.
Nog Wars!
I knew there were different brands of eggnog, but I didn’t realize there were so many different flavors. For our last article of the year I found five, and I pitted them against each other in merciless combat to determine the ultimate holiday beverage!
Continue reading “Nog Wars!”One-Sentence Reviews: Sugar Cookie Honey Bunches Of Oats
These have a surprisingly Christmassy flavor without being too sweet or too different from regular Honey Bunches Of Oats; 9 out of 10.
One-Sentence Reviews: Glier’s Bacon Goetta
This sounds good on paper, and it wasn’t terrible, but the bacon overpowers the spices in the goetta and tastes like a pale, disappointing substitute; 6 out of 10.
One-Sentence Reviews: Glier’s Turkey Goetta
This will never replace Glier’s standard goetta, but the differences in texture and taste are both pleasant and interesting, and made for a nice change of pace on a cold Black Friday morning; 7.5 out of 10.
One-Sentence Reviews: Kumquats
As a first time kumquat user I urge you to only eat the darkest orange ones, because anything else is like getting whipped with a car antenna on every part of your mouth at once; 5 out of 10.
One-Sentence Reviews: Glier’s Grippo’s BBQ Goetta
This is just about the most Cincinnati thing you’ll taste all day, and it is surprisingly spicy and delicious; 8.5 out of 10.
One-Sentence Reviews: Arby’s Gobbler
With tasteless turkey, tasteless cheese, and strongly flavored mayo that blends with the herbs in the stuffing, what you have here is a chintzy, repulsive sandwich that tastes like a wad of mushy bread with tartar sauce and jelly on it; 1.5 out of 10.