Seasons greetings, my friends, and welcome back to The Great British Baking Show: Walton Edition! This week our bakers turn their talents to tiny tidings of Tenenbaums and tinsel. Don your coziest Christmas sweater, pour yourself a mug of cocoa, and join us for Christmas Tins Week!Continue reading “The Great British Baking Show: Walton Edition, Episode 26 – Christmas Tins Week”
Our hero’s acerbic and aggressive attitude has caused his long distance separation from his family at Christmas. In order to see his family again, our hero must use his wits to survive against thieves who both outgun and outnumber him. During his struggles, he comes to the emotional realization that he was in the wrong in his family dispute, is at fault for his estrangement from them, and wants only to be with them once again.
This is the plot to both Home Alone and Die Hard. So if Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie, then neither is Home Alone. I’m willing to get into the ring over this. Bring it. Yippee kai yay, motherfuckers.
Step 1: Go to Dollar Tree and locate the cleverly named “ROBOT” toys. Find the non-transforming Snaps Apart! Posable! ones above; you’ll need a yellow/black one and a white/green one. You’ll also need a Phillips screwdriver, but I’m not including that in the price. You should have one already. If you don’t, consider Step 1.5 to be “Get your life together and get a damn screwdriver.”Continue reading “BLACK FRIDAY BARGAIN!: $2 DIY Christmas Robot”
Just a friendly holiday reminder that The War On Christmas was real. And the Christians started it. #1659NeverForget #BringOurToysHome
Hey, if anyone is interested in living out the Rowan Atkinson jewelry store scene from Love, Actually, go buy a Sephora gift card in the Kenwood Mall. I’m fairly certain the bags and decorations I’m carrying are worth more than the money I put on the card.
The guy behind the counter put the gift card in a decorative bag inside another decorative bag. After he added two perfectly shaped decorative sprouts of tissue paper – different colors and patterns, of course – he then insisted upon placing everything in a third decorative bag for my carrying convenience. I was content at that point to stand back and just see how many more flourishes he would add. It was kind of mesmerizing.
This year for Christmas I gave my entire office the soft glow of electric sex.