I’m tired of people trying to make me sad for Christmas. I don’t want any more singing about starving children or dead lady’s shoes, and if I hear that fucking John Lennon song one more time I’m gonna dig that bastard up and shoot him again myself.

Elvis managed to record my favorite Christmas rock song, “Santa Claus Is Back In Town,” and break this rule all in the same album. Mama and her roses need to go the hell away. It’s not even a Christmas song. It’s just a reason to feel bad.

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