Feather & Shag

DO NOT rush out to get your hair cut when this quarantine is lifted. With all the barber shops and salons closed, we’re all going to look like we stepped right out of the late ’70s when this is all over. So before we waste the shag, let’s get some period clothes and throw a nationwide Club 54 Boogie Nights disco party. We will never again have so perfect an opportunity.

I’ve made it shareable. Spread the good word. First kilo of blow is on me.

Friday Night Videos presents… Joe Diffie, “This Is Your Brain”

Joe Diffie - This Is Your Brain

Joseph Logan Diffie, December 28, 1958 – March 29, 2020

It always seemed to me that Joe Diffie was an unfairly unsung part of the country music resurgence of the mid 1990s. Thinking back to that time, I cannot recall another country artist that had as many hits while maintaining such consistently clever lyrics and remarkable musicianship. And yet he has gone relatively uncelebrated. This, in my opinion, is his finest recording, and I hope that he gains in death the acclaim he should have had in life.

Asswipe Update

The paper towels are making a slow comeback, but still no toilet paper. Times are tough. Even the Dude Wipes are gone now… mostly. Someone left this lone packet, as if to say, “Even now, I will not sink that low. The line is drawn! Dude Wipes, I rebuke thee!”

In Memoriam: David Schramm

David Michael Schramm, August 14, 1946 – March 28, 2020

Not sure how I missed this one, but even though he wasn’t known for sci-fi or fantasy, I thought his passing was worth noting here. Not only was Schramm a fellow Kentuckian, but our own Dan was a huge Wings fan back in the day. We would all meet in his dorm room every evening before dinner to watch Dan’s obligatory back to back episodes. It wasn’t long before he had made fans of the rest of us, and heading to Dan’s room in time to watch Wings became a daily ritual.

Click the pic to read Schramm’s costar Tim Daly tell the story of the day he saw Schramm live on stage and realized he had been starring alongside a hidden comic genius.

Ok, my nerds, listen up

We are spoiled here in the Greater Cincinnati area by a number of game/comic stores, but not all places are so lucky. I’ve been to lots of places with none, and it SUCKS. So in order to make sure our favorite places survive the pandemic, I came up with one of those amazing, Earth shattering ideas for which I am known and loved. Almost all of these places have a random dice bowl; if you are who I think you are, then you know what I’m talking about. Call the place, tell them you just want to help out during this pandemic, and tell them you want $20 (or whatever you can afford) in random dice for pickup. I just tried this and I got 35 dice. At this particular comic shop they are 65¢ each, which would be almost $25 after tax. I got $25 in dice for $20, and the shop made a fast, effortless sale without paying for shipping. That’s a win/win, and it keeps our local business alive. Tomorrow is Saturday. Call them. Show up. Empty their dice inventory. Mobilize and save our favorite places. Trust me on this, you’ll regret it if they’re gone.

Continue reading “Ok, my nerds, listen up”

Pandemic Response

Because Republicans are fucking OBSESSED with Obama, many of them are now throwing up the 2009 H1N1 epidemic as some sort of defense, asking if H1N1 was Obama’s fault. While this is idiotic on all of their usual levels, it somehow seeks to equate criticisms of Trump’s failure to address the crisis with this new, imaginary accusation which no one has ever made that Trump somehow started COVID. Well, fucktards, no one ever said that, but since we’re bringing Obama up, here’s how his administration handled things in 2009:

April 15: First human infection of H1N1 detected in California.
April 17: Second human infection of H1N1 detected in California about 130 miles from first infection, with no known connection to previous patient.
April 18: First H1N1 infections were reported by CDC to the World Health Organization (WHO) through the U.S. International Health Regulations Program.
April 21: CDC publicly reported the first two U.S. infections with the new H1N1 virus and began working to develop a vaccine.
April 22: CDC activated it’s Emergency Operations Center (EOC).
April 23: Two additional human infections of H1N1 were detected in Texas, transforming the investigation into a multistate outbreak and response.
April 24: CDC uploaded complete gene sequences of H1N1 to a publically-accessible international influenza database.
April 25: The World Health Organization (WHO) declared a public health emergency of international concern.

TEN DAYS. TEN FUCKING DAYS from discovery to a fully gene sequenced virus and announcement of an international health emergency. TEN DAYS. China reported coronavirus back in December, and your worthless Republican administration denied, mocked, and deflected because your cult leader – and let’s be clear, that’s all he is – your cult leader told you to. So, by all means, keep bringing up Obama. There are thousands more examples how he was better than your idiot. And for all you good Christian Republicans who are headed to church this morning, good. Breathe deep. Linger a while. Shake every hand you can. Be sure to give those awkward, stiff-spined, WASPy hugs and kisses. I hope you spread a lot more than the love of God. We need to get rid of as many of you fuckers as possible.

Coronasaurus Rex

I know things seem scary right now, but I think you’re all forgetting our greatest hero, CORONASAURUS REX! Able to face down the smallest virus or the longest toilet paper line, C-Rex and his trusty sidekick Virobot are here to save the day! #CoronasaurusRex