Thanksgiving Adventure On The High Seas!
Being a tale of Thanksgiving peril and plunder on the bloody tides of fortune! And now that the Cap’n’s logbook has been recovered from the clutches of the briny deep, the tale can finally be told complete! Yo ho ho!Continue reading “Thanksgiving Adventure On The High Seas!”
“Do you have any idea how many bullets I pull out of corpses weekly?”
Holy shit, this is about as real as it gets. Stop what you’re doing and read this. NOW.
In Memoriam: Stan Lee
Stanley Martin Lieber, December 28, 1922 – November 12, 2018
Batroc The Leaper
Black Knight (Nathan Garrett)
Black Knight (Sir Percy)
Blood Red Dragon
Brotherhood Of Mutants
Captain Marvel (Mar-Vell)
Circus Of Crime
Dr. John Grey
Dredmund The Druid
Dum Dum Dugan
Ego The Living Planet
Fin Fang Foom
Happy Sam Sawyer
J. Jonah Jameson
Kang the Conqueror
Kraven the Hunter
Life Model Decoy
Man Mountain Marko
Mary Jane Watson
Morgan le Fay
Richard & Mary Parker
Ronan the Accuser
Sgt. Fury & His Howling Commandos
The Guardian Project
Unus The Untouchable
Warren Worthington III
Yancy Street Gang
🥠Date unknown; meal unknown.
Women of The United States Of America, on behalf of all of us, THANK YOU. In 2016, the Republican party capitalized on voter indifference and took traditionally white suburban districts by a significant four points over the Democrats. Over the past two years, the Republicans have shown their true colors time and again by trivializing rape, legislating the denial of necessary medical facilities and women’s services, and openly treating their female colleagues and constituents with a degree of ugliness and contempt rarely seen in modern politics.
Last night, women answered that behavior with unmistakable, resounding force. Those same districts that were Republican strongholds in 2016 converted to Democratic control by astounding margins of 12-20 points last night, thanks largely to the turnout of women voters who are sick of the disgusting behavior the Republican party has so smugly reveled in for the last two years. It is very easy to say that women can change the world, but so often that sounds like empty pandering. Last night you not only proved it was mathematically, undeniably possible, but you did it. Strongly. A lot of people expressed disappointment that we didn’t see the “blue tide” some voters were hoping for. Realistically, that was never very probable. In reality, we got something so much more unexpected and inspiring than a blue tide. We got a pink tide. And it was PHENOMENAL. And I know I speak for millions of grateful men in this country when I say thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.
I personally am having a ball seeing Trump’s meltdowns with the press today. I can’t remember the last time I saw a grown man so terrified. It’s unlikely that the Republicans will do anything to him. They’re spineless. But the chum is in the water, and you just know the Republicans are dying to take that first bite.
Did you see the press conference where he tried to make it sound like the Republicans had a huge victory last night? He was struggling to even get the words out. With the possible exception of myself in a high school play, I’ve never seen a man more ineptly deliver badly written lines with such bewilderment and insincerity. The one thing Trump is actually good at is sounding like he believes his own lies, but he couldn’t even do that.
I’m going to try to find the video and link it for you, but in the meantime, here’s a clip of one of his other tantrums today. It’s the full press conference, hissy fits and all. His idiotic claims about a Republican victory are all right up front, but his tantrums are peppered throughout, like random kernels of corn in the turd that is his presidency. He’s unraveling quickly. Enjoy!
Trump went on to claim credit for Republican victories, when in reality Trump’s endorsements were often a death sentence. Trump helped Democrats take back a LOT of seats in the House.
Republicans For Rape
For all my female friends who are survivors of rape, incest, sexual assault, and/or sexual harassment: I understand why you don’t report. I’m not going to pretend for an instant that I understand how you feel, because I haven’t been through what you have. But I think I get it. I have seen how just speaking about your experiences causes you to be treated with nothing short of contempt and scorn and violence, sometimes even by other survivors. I don’t understand it. But I’ve seen it, and I know it happens, and I have been disgusted and demoralized by it with you.
Tomorrow, however, you will be alone in the voting booth. No matter what happens before or after, while you’re in that booth, you have a chance to make yourself heard without fear of interruption, reprisal, or consequences. The Republican party has shown, without question, that it doesn’t care about rape victims. During the Kavanaugh hearings, the Republicans made it very clear that, even if Kavanaugh was guilty, they simply do not care. They do not take rape seriously. They do not take rape victims seriously. They do not take women seriously, not in any capacity, except as to be seen as extensions and possessions of men.
The way you vote will not change what has happened to you. Nothing can erase the way you have been misused. But the way you vote will have a very real impact on the way that the next woman or child decides whether or not to report. The people currently in power are comfortable and eager to quiet rape victims, whether through mockery, intimidation, smear campaigns, or overt threats. They do not care. When what has happened to you happens to one of the young women you love – as you very well know it is GOING to happen – you are deciding right now how she will be treated.
I can’t say what the Democratic candidate will do if elected. That’s impossible to know. But I can absolutely tell you what the Republicans will do, because they’ve already done it. The Republicans have shown you exactly how they will treat her. She will be blamed. She will be called a whore and a slut. She will be told she doesn’t remember correctly. She will be asked to provide proof they know will be impossible to provide. She will be bullied to get her to drop the charges. She will be told by authorities that there is nothing they can do. She will be laughed at as she cries. And her attacker will be defended by people who weren’t even there. And you know all these things will happen, because they happened to you.
Many of you are haunted by your attacker or rapist. They are family. They are your spouse. They are your clergyman, or teacher, or boss. They are around, and they try to control you. But when you’re alone in that booth, you’re free. At least for those few minutes, you are absolutely free, and they will never know how you use your vote. But you deserve to be heard. You deserve resonance, not because you’re a victim, but because you’re a human being. In that moment of freedom, you can make an actual, measurable difference to the next girl who goes through what you’ve gone through. Use it wisely.
Kelly, it took a lot of guts to reveal something so personal and painful here in such a public way, and I think you’re amazing for doing so. I mean that. I’m honestly sorry for what you went through. Unfortunately, what you have experienced is unforgivably commonplace, so I’m sure many of the women reading this can relate. But your assertion that this is not a political issue is absurd. Rape and women’s’ reproductive rights have been politicized in this country since the first anti-abortion laws were passed in the 1820s. As soon as rape became a legally accepted reason to obtain a legal abortion, rape has been used as a fulcrum by politicians and the religious right to legislate how much control men will allow women to have over their own bodies.
Women had no say in this; it started nearly 100 years before they were allowed to vote. And in that time it was politicians who defined and redefined rape to suit their needs. It was politicians who set statutes of limitations on rape, and it was politicians who decided the penalties rapists faced. All without the input of the very group of people who were the most victimized by rape. Rape is very much a political issue, and it has been for a long time.
As for your comments about Monica Lewinsky, I feel like your comments are not there to provide any justification for how the Republicans have acted. I feel like you’re trying to smear the Democrats. And you know what? That’s fair. How Monica Lewinsky was demonized by the Democrats was repugnant and unforgivable. What happened to her is another symptom of the hypocrisy surrounding sexuality in our country. But simply saying “what about” some past issue doesn’t constitute a valid point.
Monica Lewinsky was not forced into a bed with President Clinton, nor was she the victim of attempted rape. She herself has always maintained that the relationship was consensual and mutual. Never in the Clinton impeachment proceedings – that I have seen or read – did anyone mock the victims of rape. At no point during Lewinsky’s testimony did any politician imply that she didn’t know what rape was, nor imply that she was misremembering who it was that covered her mouth as she tried to scream for help as he was trying to rape her. Bringing Lewinsky into this conversation is an attempt at a smokescreen, and not a very good one. Monica Lewinsky was mistreated by the Democrats, there’s no denying that. But comparing her hearings to proceedings in which a victim of attempted rape was purposely mocked and made the subject of pointed public ridicule is misleading and dishonest.
🥠Date unknown; meal unknown.
What Is A Boy To Do?
Did you know that there is a full length version of that “tossed salad and scrambled eggs” song at the end of Frasier? With extra verses? And jazzy, super effeminate backup singers? That just keeps going and fucking going until the end of goddamned time? Well, I do. Because this DJ thinks it’s clever to play it while we eat. At a wedding. What IS a boy to do?
Especially at full dance volume. DURING DINNER.
That’s not actually him above, although it does look a lot like him. I was looking for a picture of The Worst DJ Ever from Love, Actually, but this pic came up instead. This guy tonight was the kind of affable but extremely odd character who I’m certain was actually an alien just hoping to fit in with us. He kept referring to everything as “interesting,” and would really emphasize the word interesting as he announced things, indicating that he had never heard of such bizarre customs. “Now we’re gonna do something interesting: the bride is going to dance with her father.” Here on planet Earth that’s fairly common. But he looked and sounded like this was the first time he’d ever been exposed to something so off the wall.
“Ok, it’s time for dinner now, and we’re doing something really interesting: the bride and groom are going to eat first.” He never bothered to announce any tables after that, just the bride and groom. And then he just stood up there, behind his equipment, his eyes darting from table to table, watching us eat with this creepy ass look on his face, like he was taking mental notes. “Look at these fascinating creatures. They lift the food off their ceramic discs and ingest it via their mouth holes. How… INTERESTING.”