“Sweet fuckin’ crikey Moses…”

This is far better and more entertaining commentary than I heard during any of the recent winter Olympics broadcasts. “Fuck me dead.”

“Activated. Gymnast activated… I’ve got a bit of a stiffy here, full disclosure.”

THEY ARE STEALING FROM YOU

My friends out of state probably won’t find this of interest, but very recently I’ve seen some teachers here in Kentucky, teachers who vehemently oppose this bill, argue that somehow the Democrats in Kentucky won’t help stop this bill. To those teachers, I must ask: what the hell is wrong with you? How much Fox News bulllshit do you have to swallow before you wake up and admit what’s happening?

Republicans, supported and led by a Republican governor, met in secret to rob you of your pensions and benefits, and they are doing so illegally. They admit it on video. And still some of you, who are supposed to be professional shapers of minds, want to twist this to blame the Democrats. It’s unbelievable. Exactly how much party line dick do you need to suck before you have had enough? What else do they need to take from you before you admit what’s happening?

Wake up and accept what is right in front of you. The Republicans in this state have screwed you over, and blaming Democrats will only serve to keep in power the very people who are destroying your future. If you can’t admit what’s happening in front of your own eyes and present those facts honestly, then you don’t deserve to be a teacher. If you can’t look at what’s happening in plain sight, and simply tell the truth about it, then you have no business in front of a classroom.

https://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/politics/2018/03/29/kentucky-house-committee-approves-surprise-pension-reform-bill/470723002/

Video of the Kentucky Legislature committee passing the pension bill. It includes the GOP Chairman acknowledging they are violating the law, and then doing it anyway. SHARE IT.

TALES FROM NEWPORT!

Tonight’s episode: “You’ll Float, Too”

Saw this at the corner of my block on the way to work the other day. Don’t go after that balloon, Georgie. You don’t wanna see what’s on the other end of that string.

A bright and shiny Happy Birthday balloon on a string sticking out of a storm drain. Presumably being held by Pennywise.

It’s an intersection and there was oncoming traffic. There was no escape!

It occurred to me that maybe someone had planted it there to see who would be brave enough to go get it. Then it occurred to me that maybe that’s exactly what Pennywise wants me to think.

This has been another chilling episode of…

Spawn Of The Devil

You know what the best part of sitting in a waiting room full of screaming, crying children is? It’s a trick question, there is no best part. There’s not even a slightly good part. No doctor is worth this. Even if I had cancer, the wait isn’t worth it. Every parent needs to know the following: your children aren’t cute. They are odd looking and, at their best, they smell weird. And, most importantly, I AM NOT OBLIGATED TO LIKE THEM. Keep them quiet and contained, or keep them in a kennel. The doctors’ office is not your kids’ playroom. Keep your little bastards away from me.

The mother of these miniature demons is here. I hate her, too. She’s doing nothing to corral the little shits. She’s just sitting there whining about how she has more kids at home, and how she’s been waiting over an hour, and being generally useless. But her shittiness does not make me more inclined to tolerate her ugly little spawn. Is it legal to hunt children? As long as you make use of the skins and meat, it’s legal to kill them, right? I thought I read that somewhere.

I don’t think this is all on me. If you aren’t the type of person who screeches endlessly for no discernable reason, you would also have trouble enjoying these kids. It seems to be their primary form of communication.

For anyone actually watching the timing of these posts, I have been seen, was sent to a different waiting room, gave blood and urine, and am waiting, yet again, for the third time today, in yet another goddamned waiting room. No joint injury is worth this shit. I’d rather have just bought a chainsaw and cut the fucking leg off above the knee.

Fuck Your Guns

Unless you deserve to lose them, no one is going to take your guns away, you whiny, pansy, crybaby shitstain. Just shut the fuck up. We are all – including other gun owners – sick of your bullshit. Jesus Christ.

The Time Of My Life

I can’t understand the narrator, so I don’t know what supermarket made this commercial, but I swear to all gods living and dead that I’d spend my very last dime there. I challenge you not to love this.

Ok, it’s not from a supermarket. It’s from moneysupermarket dot com, which is some sort of British online bank/insurance company whatever thing. So that’s disappointing. If I can’t buy toilet paper and mangoes there, then I take back what I said. They don’t get my money. But this commercial is still the best.