Tonight’s episode: “Stop Diabetes”

Today’s irony is brought to you by your friendly Newport Kroger:

This has been another chilling episode of…

Fucking Psycho

I didn’t agree with much of what Bush Jr. did in office. And by “much” I mean almost anything whatsoever. I often called him a moron, idiot, and dumbass, and looking back, I was right. But never once did I look at him and think, “This man is a fucking psycho.” Not so with this new batch of Republicans. Where the sweet green FUCK did they dig up these insane, backward, paranoid motherfuckers? These guys are one step away from believing in witches and goblins. Is this really the best we, as a nation, can produce? I can’t be the only one that finds the very idea of these people being in positions of high authority absolutely terrifying.

Name Calling

Motorcycle “clubs” don’t want to be called gangs. They want to have territories, carry lethal weapons, violently defend those territories against other bikers, peddle meth and heroin, bully business and communities, have shootouts in public, and rape and murder at will. But it’s all good. It’s just a “club.” Just like little kids in a tree house. Perfectly harmless.

The gangs down in Waco said they don’t want to be called gangs because they do charity work. Well, who fucking cares? Al Quaeda distributes food and water to poor communities. It’s part of their recruitment process. Guess what? They’re still terrorists. Doing a few nice things to generate the appearance of righteousness does not negate, forgive, nor justify chronic criminal behavior. If they’re going to behave like gangs, they need to be called gangs and treated like gangs, and exterminated.

Worked Great, Didn’t It?

Remember back in the ’80s when we were kids and politicians and cops started D.A.R.E. to scare the shit out of parents and bring drug sniffing attack dogs into schools? Thankfully that all worked out, or we might not have this blissful drug- and gang-free utopia we enjoy today.

Totally Gay

For a bunch of people who claim to be anti-gay, these anti-gay people sure do think about gay stuff a lot. Like, A LOT. I have good friends who are gay, and I can tell you that even gay people don’t think about gay stuff as much as the anti-gay people. Anti-gays want to see evidence of gays everywhere. They are obsessed with gayness. They imagine they live in a world full of armies of gays, doing forbidden gay things, amidst sparkly clouds of gayness, surrounded on all sides by all things gay. It’s almost like they’re, you know, COMPLETELY FUCKING GAY.