I was junk spelunking in the basement, and after nearly THREE DAMN YEARS of fruitless searches, I found it. My X-Files box. All nine seasons and both movies.
If anyone needs me for the next 151 hours and 53 minutes, contact me through unofficial channels. If questioned, I will disavow all knowledge of this communiqué. Somebody’s always paying attention. Someone is always watching.
Trust no one.