Unemployed “Actor” Kirk Cameron’s Ability To Insert Dick Shaped Objects Into Mouth Proves God’s Existence
For over twenty years, we, as a united species, made the unspoken but unanimous decision to completely ignore the existence of Kirk Cameron. It was as if he had never been. And now that we have allowed him back into our collective consciousness, look at the state of the world. Coincidence? I hardly think so. Under my administration, threats like this will not be tolerated. Say no to Kirk Cameron. And say yes to Christopher Woodall. #Woodall2016
🥠Date unknown; meal unknown.
The Hodges Fragment
I’ve heard of people wishing their plane would crash. Fucking pussies. I’m hoping for a meteorite strike followed by catastrophic midair disintegration. Who wants to die in a fucking airline chair? I’ll take the 38,000 foot swan dive.
The ⁰⁄₅ Complicity
In 1787, rich white conservative lawmakers grudgingly agreed that Black people counted as ⅗ of an American. In 2014, rich white conservative lawmakers made sure that millions of Black people trying to vote counted as ⁰⁄₅ of an American. Only 227 fucking years… thank god we got all that racism bullshit cleared up, huh?