Happy Thankshanukkah!

In 2013, Hanukkah and Thanksgiving will coincide for only the second time. The last time was 1888, and the next time will be in the year 79,811. I’m not Jewish, but I’m celebrating it. I missed my last chance, and next time it rolls around I’ll probably be too old to care.

Neocolonialism

My phone’s dictionary doesn’t contain the word “broccoli.” When I type in “broccoli” it autocorrects it to “neocolonialism.” Who the fuck programs these things??

I’m just saying, even if you absolutely loathe broccoli, it has got to be a million times more likely that you will type “broccoli” than you will ever fucking type “neocolonialism.” I’m not sure I’ve ever even heard that word before.

Tsutomu Yamaguchi

Tsutomu Yamaguchi was in Hiroshima on a business trip when the bomb was detonated. He spent the night in Hiroshima, then took a train back to his hometown… Nagasaki. He returned home on August 8, one day before the nuke was dropped there, which he also survived. That was 1945. He died at the age of 93, in 2010. Hey, Japan: HARVEST THIS MAN’S DNA. The world could use an invincible superhero.

Pepsi Convoy

Pepsi is chock full of vitamins,
Chock full of minerals,
High in fiber and electrolytes!

Pepsi repels mosquitos,
Will lower the crime rate,
Brings old people back to life!

When you drink a Pepsi
You can understand
What elephants say to other elephants!

If you’re taking a cab,
And you need some change,
You can ask Pepsi, it’ll loan you a dollar.

‘Cause Pepsi likes everyone!… except for its father; they had a bad relationship. But nobody’s perfect. Before you judge Pepsi, look in the mirror. When was the last time you called your dad?

ᚦᛟᚱ

So grateful to be alive on this beautiful Sabbath, sharing in fellowship and worship in praise of His might and glory. Amen!

Friday Night Videos presents… The Rolling Stones, “I Go Wild”

And the doctor says you’ll be okay,
And if you’d only stay away,
From femme fatales and dirty bitches,
And daylight drabs and nighttime witches,
And working girls and blue stockings,
And dance hall babes and body poppers,
And waitresses with broken noses, checkout girls striking poses, politicians’ garish wives with alcoholic cunts like knives…