Something very much resembling half a pound of burnt crème brûlée just fell out of my head. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I think I might really be sick.

The Goldschmidt Process

Thermite is 8 grams of iron oxide to 3 grams of aluminum. The formula is by weight; because aluminum is very light, it will volumetrically appear to be an approximately 50-50 mix. Mix evenly. Mix four parts thermite with one part clay or Play-Doh and knead thoroughly for moldable thermite. I don’t have kids, pets or religious/political obsessions, so this is the kind of stuff I post on Facebook. You’re welcome, internet.

Thermite is the name of the above mixture which, when ignited, burns at an incredibly high temperature. Contrary to a common misconception, thermite is not an explosive (when mixed properly). Its primary use is as a welding agent, used particularly on railroads where it is inconvenient and impractical to carry welding equipment into the field. Thermite burns so hot that it can be used to smelt the iron out of iron bearing ores like hematite, and can melt through the engine block of a car. And it’s cheap. Your kids can easily make it and an ignition device at home using things found around the house or at any toy store. If you’d like, I’d be happy to teach them how. I’m all about the science, baby. Knowledge like this can make children extremely popular among their peers, and can even result in appearances on local news programs.

Pilonidal Sinus

In extreme pain. I have a huge cyst on my tailbone and I’ve pretty much been laying in bed because that is the only thing that doesn’t make me want to cry like a little girl. Standing hurts. Sitting hurts BAD. Laying down hurts, unless I lay on my side in a very specific position which eases the pressure. The doctor cut an inch and a half deep hole into my back and couldn’t find the fluid sac, so he told me I’d just have to wait for it to burst open on it’s own. In the meantime I have a job where I have to sit in front of a PC for 10 hours straight, so I’m miserable. The OTC pain meds don’t work anymore because I’ve taken so many of them, and the aspirin has thinned my blood to the point that my nose pours blood if I so much as sneeze. I’m honestly considering looking for some pain meds through unofficial channels at this point.