Today's article is brought to us by the lovely and talented Miss Victoria Whitby, better known to the internet as Mystie, who rules over the magical realm of Crown Combo with a firm but benevolent hand. Mystie is a Berks County, Pennsylvania native, international lady of mystery, world renown raconteur, New York Times bestselling author of Sex, Leather, Candy and Pain: The Unauthorized Biography Of Funshine Bear, and inventor of the award winning Mystaphalon non-stick cookware. In her spare time she enjoys reading, quiet nude walks on non-nude beaches, and Action Figure Makeovers™, where she takes boys’ toys and girly-izes them with pink nail polish and glitter. Today's victim: The Thing. 

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Instead of waiting until I've seen the movie, I've decided to pre-review it so that you can come to The Sci-Fi Guys and get generic reviews that tell you nothing whatsoever about the film, just like every other "professional" movie reviewer in the world has already written. I'll go back and have an opinion later, once I've actually seen it. You know, 'cause I gots me some integrities all up in this mutha. Click the pic to come on in and see why I thought Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull [totally rocked/sucked monkey balls.]

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Since the DVD comes out tomorrow, I figured I should get off my ass and finally post this review I've been sitting on. I give Cloverfield a 6 out of 10. That's three out of five stars, or a thumbs up on the Siskel & Ebert scale. I know their final score is the one piece of info reviewers usually save for the end of the review, but you need to know up front that Cloverfield is not really a horrible movie, despite the MANY negative things I'm going to say about it. Click the pic to hear the scoop. SPOILERS AHEAD: Consider yourselves warned.

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The movie poster for The X-Files sequel has finally been released, and brought to us courtesy of DanM. In light of this, I've decided to gather all the info we have so far and put it into one place, including some brand new, and quite frankly INCREDIBLY disappointing info on the film. Click if the pic to get the skinny. 

BREAKING NEWS! – The X-Files sequel finally has a name: The X-Files: I Want To Believe. More inside!

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Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cold out there today. It's cold out there every day; what is this, Miami Beach? Not hardly! And you know you can expect hazardous travel later today with that, you know, that, uh, that blizzard thing. The National Weather Service is calling for a "big blizzard thing!" Yes, they are. But you know, there's another reason why today is especially exciting. The big question on everybody's lips, their chapped lips: do ya think Phil is gonna come out and see his shadow? Punxsutawney Phil! That's right, woodchuck chuckers, it's Groundhog Day! And to celebrate, The Sci-Fi Guys give you our first ever SALUTE TO TIME LOOPS!

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The truth of human nature is this: some people want to be rich, some people want to be famous, and some people want to be idolized. But how badly do they want it? In my first major project outside of The Sci-Fi Guys, I'm co-directing an independent film. The premise is simple; myself and my two accomplices are going to make three people movie stars… but not just any three people. We're only taking the three people who want it the most. Interested? Click the pic to see how you can put yourself in the limelight.

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The jingle bells have stopped jingling, the hos have all been hoed, and the trees are either boxed up or thrown out to the curb. The holidays are over. And what are we left with? I'll tell you what we're left with – PRESENTS! I can't believe nobody's posted anything about this yet, so I'll start. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GUYS GET FOR CHRISTMAS??

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In his never ending quest to seek out and review all the best and worst in ninja culture, Ruthless Ninja Assassin has graced us with the first of an ongoing series of articles concerning all things ninja. Click the pic to enter the shadow temple of the of the ninja realm, and read from the forbidden first scroll of "Is It Ninja?"… if you dare!

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