Treatise on the dark chocolate consumption of the Sci-Fi Guy known as PopRox:

PopRox, simply put, is a scientific anomaly; he is the only known homo sapiens who can survive the intense cellular damage caused by the ingestion of the dark chocolate chemical derivative known as 'chocotoxolate.'

PopRox appears to have a complete immunity to the effects of chocotoxolate, in fact, he has been seen to develop severe lethargy, moodiness, and anemia if he does not regularly ingest the chemical. Most medical scholars agree that this is a seeming physiological miracle, and are in the dark, if you will excuse the pun, as to the nature of this phenomenon. Since most people outside of the chocogastrotoxicology field are not familiar with this substance, I shall describe its manufacture, which can be achieved by laymen with a minimum of training and equipment.

First, procure six lbs. of 87% dark chocolate and a sturdy chemist's crucible. Heat the crucible to 600 degrees Celsius and drop the chocolate in, a little bit at a time. This should be enough heat to burn away all the impurities, leaving you with 99.998% pure chocolate. It will be slightly scorched, but do not worry; scorched 99.998% pure chocolate tastes EXACTLY like unscorched 99.998% pure chocolate. The only difference is that one of them was once very hot, and the other has no excuse for tasting the way it does.

Once you've purified the chocolate, you'll have to compress it, because PopRox only eats chocolate in itty bitty girl bites. You need to take the resulting 5.10012 pounds of scorched 99.998% pure chocolate to the nearest steel mill or metalworks, one with a hydraulic forging press powerful enough to cold form metal (if you can't find an hydraulic press, you could substitute a steam driven gravity hammer, or perhaps the main drive mechanism from a modern freeway drawbridge, but the press really is preferable). Place the scorched 99.998% pure chocolate into the press (or under the hammer, or between the two halves of the drawbridge), and compress it as much as possible. This may take some time, and due to the caustic nature of chocolate of this purity, it may in fact destroy some of the metal components of the device you are using to compress it. You may have to go through two or three presses or bridges, but in the end the chocolate should be about half its original volume.

WARNING: Scorched 99.998% pure chocolate this densely packed is highly toxic to most human beings. Do not attempt to eat the chocolate or even touch it with your bare skin. Do not allow pregnant women to be within 100 feet of the chocolate.  

I know this all sounds very complex, but you're almost done. Next you must contact The United States Department of Transportation and request a hazmat transport (the regulations are found in Title 49 of the Code of Federal Regulations, Subchapter C, if you run into any red tape). Request a vehicle licensed to transport hazardous materials of ALL of the following classifications: Class 2.3 compressed poison gases, Class 5.1 oxidizers, Class 6.1 poisonous liquids or solids, Class 8 corrosives, and Class 9 miscellaneous dangerous goods. The DOT personnel are trained in dealing with the kind of incredibly lethal chocolate that PopRox enjoys, so just let them handle it once they get there. Don't go near it yourself. My readers mean a lot to me, and I don't want to lose you.

By the time the hazmat team gets the chocolate to your home most of the danger should be past, although there will be several square miles of dead plants and animals along the route they have taken. There is nothing that can be done to prevent this. Once you get the chocolate into your home you are probably safe, and at this point most of the lethal fumes are gone and the substance can be properly called chocotoxolate. It is now ready for PopRox to consume. PopRox will find happy, delicious snacking and as an added bonus you will notice that your home will be completely free of insects, spiders, molds, lichens, and most types of birds for the next several months, as the chemical residue from the chocotoxolate will prove incredibly lethal to those and many other forms of carbon-based life.