Chris vs Chris vs Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines
It's rare that a comment on this site generates enough interest for it to be turned into a whole article. It's also rare to find another Chris who, like myself, writes reviews of sci-fi movies that take longer to read than the movies in question do to watch. But I'll be damned if both things didn't happen at the same time. Join myself and Chris Shields, webmaster of the excellent anti-SKYNET human resistance website TERMINATOR 2029 A.D. – RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINES, as we reverse engineer one of the more problematic Cyberdyne Systems creations, Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines.
This article really requires an explanation.
I have been working on two projects for some time, two geeky mind games of incredibly nerdy proportions, which I will tell you about at the expense of all my credibility as a socially worthwhile human being. Here goes: I've been writing two comprehensive fictional timelines, one of the supernatural/paranormal Old West, and the other of my favorite dark sci-fi. In both cases I've drawn stories and concepts from literature, movies, comic books, television, radioplays, video games, toys, RPGs, songs, real history, anywhere I could find interesting and astounding stories that would work well together. Then I wrote up a synopsis of each, placing them all in the same fictional worlds as far as can sensibly be done, modifying them ever so slightly to be compatible, and occasionally embellishing the stories in such a manner as to make them intertwine. Its taken a lot of hard research, but its been a hell of a lot of fun, and I'm the work has made me a better writer and a better Sci-Fi Guy.
A while back I placed the writing of the Old West timeline on hold to concentrate on the sci-fi. The reason was simple; the sci-fi timeline is much, much closer to being done. I came up with a few simple guidelines for my fictional history, the first of which being what would I leave out. After a little thought, I decided that Star Trek and Star Wars, arguably being the two most powerful and ubiquitous sci-fi franchises in the world, have too much going on already as far as fan fiction and convoluted or contradictory fictional histories are concerned, so they're not allowed in my timeline. Besides, I had decided from the start that this would be a strictly hard sci-fi work; no magic or superpowers allowed. And although I enjoy them both very much, Star Trek and Star Wars have that crap in spades. I was looking for something less grandiose, with a smaller, more realistic, personal and grim feeling. To this end, I based the timeline on five of my all-time favorite sci-fi franchises, five of the most significant reasons I continue to preach the gospel of sci-fi to this very day: RoboCop, Alien, Predator, Terminator, and The Abyss.
Considering the content of the five franchises that form the basis of my timeline, the tone of the piece is decidedly tech-noir. To varying degrees all of the above franchises tout individualism, humanity, and the need for unbending will in the face of a dark, dangerous world run by corrupt authorities that at best cannot be trusted, and at worst are actively out to get you. These are very much "law of the jungle" stories; you've got to be tough if you want to get out alive, and no one walks away unscathed. To reflect this in my timline, happy-feel-good sci-fi is either darkened to fit the mood, or is excluded outright. I started this timeline as a fun little experiment just to see how much great sci-fi I could squeeze in to one coherent story, and the results have grown far beyond what I ever expected. I have a couple hundred pages of text so far, and LOTS more I have yet to add. Even after it gets edited down, this is going to be a hefty stack of paper. I'm not sure if I'll ever try for publication, as getting the rights to all these separate properties would likely be impossible. I may make my timelines available online here once I've completed them, but there's still a lot of work to do.
So what does all of this have to do with T3? Simply put, the Terminator franchise started this whole thing. I was inspired to write the sci-fi timeline when I read about something I had never noticed; the gas station where John, Sarah and the Terminator stop in Terminator 2 sported the logo of Benthic Petroleum, the company which funded and built the submersible drilling platform in The Abyss. Since James Cameron helmed both movies, this was probably just an in-joke played by the set designers, but it got me thinking; what if these two stories did take place in the same fictional world? How would the non-terrestrial entities from The Abyss react to SKYNET's attempt to destroy humanity? Would they remain withdrawn from the conflict, or maybe even actively help SKYNET cleanse the world of humans? Or, as was indicated at the end of The Abyss: Special Edition (which T2 made possible*), would they recognize humanity's potential as a worthwhile species and aid the Resistance against the machines? Did Benthic Petroleum and the US Navy keep the NTIs a secret? If so, would they reveal themselves, or covertly take part in the war while maintaining the secret of their existence from the majority of humanity? And does SKYNET know about the NTIs on the ocean floor? More interesting still, what else is happening in James Cameron's world?
As The Abyss was a one-shot movie (although there are at least one related video game and novel that I know of), its inclusion in the timeline was simple. So I moved on to another James Cameron flick I just had to include, Aliens. This is where the hard research began. If I was going to use Aliens I was sure as hell going to use Alien and Alien3. Alien: Resurrection was a goofy, stupid movie, so I decided to use the few bits and pieces of it that I liked, and either change or discard the nonsense.
The Alien franchise (up until Alien vs. Predator; AvP: Requiem did not yet exist when I started the timeline) takes place far in the future, long after humanity would have won the war against SKYNET if the two stories were merged. This meant I was going to have to do a shitload of research into the future world as seen in Terminator, and one of my primary sources of information concerning all things Terminator is the excellent and encyclopedic TERMINATOR 2029 A.D. – RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINES, owned and moderated by Christopher Shields.
A while back, Chris posted his review of T3 on our site. Having read his site and being familiar with his work, I was thrilled that he had found our little corner of the internet. Unfortunately, Q wasn't aware that he was the original author and thought that this was just a plagiarized repost, so he deleted it. Meanwhile, I was working on my own response to Chris's review, only to find it gone from the comments fields when I went back to update it. Long story short, Chris posted his own review and it was misunderstandingly deleted, and I kind of felt like shit about it. I don't delete any comments unless they're abusive or spam, and deleting such a well thought out review from someone who is so clearly enamored with the Terminator universe was a damn shame. So I decided to dig up his posted review and my own unpublished commentary and present them here. This article is my apology to Chris for the misinderstanding, and my way to recognize and thank him for his excellent review. Go check TERMINATOR 2029 A.D. – RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINES. It is well worth your time.
For the clarification of our readers, and to save space, I'm going to repost Chris Shield's original review as it was posted here on The Sci-Fi Guys in light blue italics, and my commentary in plain text. So here we go!
T3: Rise Of The Machines
or
"WE ALL SMOKED CRACK FOR THE FIRST TIME THEN REWROTE
T2: JUDGMENT DAY"
by Christopher T. Shields
Déjà vu is a funny feeling you get when you think that you have done or seen something before. Well, when I bought the T3 DVD and watched it for the first time I had a real case of déjà vu. Even though this was the first time that I had ever seen T3:ROTM, I knew that I had seen this movie before. Now, where was it that I had seen T3:ROTM before?
Hmmmm.
(insert sound of me snapping my fingers)
That’s right! it was the Summer of 1991 and the movie was called Terminator 2: Judgment Day way back then.
T3 is a lampoon of T2, and a very bad one at that. From cheesy acting to laughable holes in both logic and plot, T3 fails as anything other than maybe a demo for some well done FX eye candy. The bad news is that it is official, it is canon, and it effectively beheads and neuters the first two movies in one fell swoop at the same time. T3 should be a lesson to all other film-makers of how not to make a movie using a vastly popular franchise. Big money and big star power couldn't save this stinker…
Let’s recap the plot to T3:ROTM. SKYNET’s attempt to kill Sarah Connor in 1984 fails. SKYNET then sends back through time an advanced prototype terminator to kill John Connor when he’s older. The Resistance manages to send back a reprogrammed Terminator to protect John Connor. A chase ensues with the prototype Terminator pursuing John Connor while the reprogrammed Terminator protects him. A climatic battle between the two Terminators in the end results in the destruction of the prototype as well as the noble, self sacrifice of the guardian Terminator.
Notice any similarities there between T2 and T3? Sure you did because T3 is just T2 with more eye candy and a lot weaker plot. T3 could easily be considered a rejected script for T2: Judgment Day. At any rate, the abortion that is T3 should never have seen the light of day. There are numerous loop holes in the logic of T3 and several things that just really stood out as dumb. Let’s review those now.
Before you do that, I'd just like to say that I liked T3. Was it as engrossing or well put together as T2? Not by a mile. But despite it's flaws, I found it to be one hell of an enjoyable movie when Frog Boy and I watched it on the big screen, and I've enjoyed it on subsequent viewings at home. But no matter how much I like the film, I have to admit you're absolutely right: Terminator 3 is, when boiled down, Terminator 2 with a shitty ending. Where we differ is that I think the details of T3 make it a viable sequel, where you clearly think it makes the film a piece of shit. But more on that later.
(Dumb)- the advanced prototype Terminator arrives back in modern day LA and immediately grabs a flashy, high dollar sports car then proceeds to drive like a maniac thus attracting all manner of public as well as law enforcement attention. The Terminator then proceeds to drive around and terminate people without any real regard for stealth. Sure, LA is a big, crazy place, but the amount of bosomy blondes in really tight red dress suits driving around at 90mph in a convertible Lexus and randomly capping people at burger stands can’t be more than a hand full at any given time. Also, as a police officer, I know that when the officer pulled over the Lexus, he would have called in the make, model, and tag. Other officers would have been en route to back up the officer who stopped the Lexus, especially if it failed to yield to blue lights or he had to chase it a short bit. Once they arrived, or the dead officer failed to call in within two minutes (dispatch would check on his status often, especially on a traffic stop), other officers across the city would be on the look out or in pursuit of the Lexus. At least in T2:JD, the T1000 was smart enough to mimic a police officer, take the patrol unit, and access the LAPD central computer system in its quest to find John Connor.
You raise an interesting point. The T-1000 clearly knew to use the LAPD's computer system to track its target, so why didn't the T-X do the same? It had access to the cruisers at the clinic. The search may not have produced anything, but you'd think the T-X would at least have tried.
(Dumb)- if the T-X can produce weapons out of its body, why does it need a Glock to carry out its mission? When it pulled up to the drive-thru at the burger joint to kill the first victim on its termination list, it would have made more sense if it had simply created a finger spike and run it through the eye socket of the kid at the window, like the T1000 did with the security guard at the insane asylum in T2. That would have been quicker … and far more silent. As it was, the T-X pulls up, shoots some guy in the face at the drive through window, then hauls ass away. Guess what? People call the police and they all pile on the area to look for the Lexus. Again. Obviously, the T-X isn't programmed for tactics, common sense or stealth. She could have just stabbed the guy at the window then slowly drove off. No one would have heard a gunshot, or the guy dying, and no one would have been the wiser except when they discovered the body hanging out the window of the restaurant and by then the T-X would have made a clean get away.
I understand your point here, but keep in mind that stealth was not the T-X's primary mission, nor has it been the primary function of any Terminators we've seen so far. They don't look like people to be stealthy, they do it for purposes of infiltration. Once they're where they need to be, they kill. After that being discovered is inconsequential. They do not care if they're caught, destroyed, disassembled, whatever. They only exist for the moment of the kill. Like Arnie said, "I have to stay functional until my mission is complete. Then it doesn't matter."
The T-800 hunting Sarah Connor used a firearm. The T-1000 hunting John Connor used a firearm. Both Terminators sent back to protect John Connor used firearms. Why the hell wouldn't this one? It uses guns for the same reason all other Terminators use them, and the same reason humans use them: they're great for killing people. Bullets are small and lightweight, and you can carry a lot of them around pretty easily. Bullets are also really, really fast. You can outrun a Terminator, at least in the short term. Not so with bullets. They can't be seen or dodged, and they often do lots of damage when they hit. Getting shot, so I've heard, hurts like hell, so even if you don't make a clean kill you'll probably stun the target, slow it, and cause it to bleed, all excellent advantages should you need to track your prey. Killing from a distance also decreases the target's chance of spotting you and fleeing before you take it down, and allows you to kill from positions of relative safety. Also, they're everywhere. Despite the bullshit whining of the anti-gun control conspiracy crackpots, if you're in America getting a gun is simple, and always will be. They're lethal as hell, especially if you can aim with robotic precision, and they're so easy to get. Considering all the advantages, why wouldn't a Terminator use a gun?
(Dumb)- Arnold returns as our favorite cyborg. Again. Making this three movies in a row with the probability of this happening in real life being less than nil. Yawn. We are to believe that SKYNET made a bunch of Terminators that look like Arnold, then a few others. Somehow, the Resistance keeps using the same model over and over again. Oh, wait, this time Arnold is a T850, not a T800. Apparently the difference between this unit and the previous one is that this one is powered by two hydrogen fuel cells located in his chest behind an armored panel and that you can remove these if they are damaged and throw them like small nuclear bombs.
Yes, making a bunch of Terminators that look like Arnold seems like exactly what we're supposed to believe. Terminators are mass produced. Of course there are going to be a lot that look the same. If you drive a Ford Taurus, you're probably gonna notice that there are a shit ton of other Ford Tauruses on the road. Think of the Model 101 as the Ford Taurus of Terminators. A lot were made, so a lot of them are out there. The series number, 800 or 850 or even the 888, is just the details, like the paint and extras. The paintjob is the skin of the Terminator. A lot of them were painted Arnie, some of them were painted like the other 101 in Reese's flashback in Terminator. But no matter what color it is, you're going to see others like it. The extras like the apparent age of the outer skin, the energy source, the programming variations, are all important, but in the end even after you've mixed and matched all the variables, you're still not going to be looking at something unique. You're going to be seeing a mass produced machine, and there will be lots of others like it.
(Dumb)- Once again, Arnold has to find a pair of sunglasses to wear at night. Either Corey Hart did the core programming which the Terminators were based off of or moon light is bad for their optics. Why doesn’t the T-X wear sunglasses all the time? it must have more advanced optics. If you remember back to 1984, the original reason why the T800 wore sunglasses at night was because it had done surgery on its organic eye and had to remove it due to battle damage, this left a huge gaping hole in its face where you could see the optics and parts of the hyperalloy skull. The sunglasses were simply camouflage. In T2 and T3, the sunglasses become fashion accessories. Who knew Terminators cared anything about fashion? Groan.
First of all, the Corey Hart reference… well played, sir.
To be fair, in T2 the sunglasses were part of the storytelling process. Watch Terminator and T2 back to back. Like you said, in Terminator Arnie doesn't wear sunglasses at first. This was justifed in the story by having a damaged eye, but the actual intended emotional effect was to make him seem increasingly less human by giving him an insectile look. People will sympathize with a wounded human, or something that at least looks human. The glasses removed a bit of that humanity by removing the audiences view of the Terminator's eyes, one of humanity's key emotional communication organs.
In T2, the process is reversed. The intent of the film was to show a Terminator becoming more and more human, so Arnold initially wears sunglasses and behaves much more violently than the T-800 in 1984 did. And you'll notice it keeps the sunglasses right up to the point where Sarah Connor comes under its protection, at which point its insectile "eyes" are destroyed by the real threat, forcing it to appear more human. This was not accidental. Showing the sunglasses being crushed by the T-1000 was symbolic of the Terminator being forced to lose an inhuman aspect of itself as it took on the role of protector for what was, in terms of the emotional story, it's new family (this protector/father figure aspect of the Terminator was directly referenced later in the film by Sarah Connor).
The sunglasses in T2 did not make logical sense, that's true, but they didn't really need to. They were there as an excellent storytelling device. The sunglasses in T3, however, served no purpose other than to make Ahnuld look like a Terminator. I'll agree with your "fashion accessories" assessment, but only as relates to Terminator 3. The sunglasses were used for a purpose in T2, so I think they're perfectly justified there.
(Dumb)- The T-X can imitate any human it touches by physical sampling and contact, yet apparently it has to lick blood to read DNA patterns with its tongue. You would think that the T-X could simply dip a finger in the blood and read the DNA that way… Comparing DNA must be more complicated than imitating another human being down to every nook, cranny, skin fold, and hair follicle. 
We've seen poly-alloy in action. Remember in T2 when the T-1000 formed hooks out of it's forearms and latched onto the back of the car? One of those hooks was blown off, and later that material from it's forearm was absorbed into its foot. It had already created a new hand from the material of it's forearm. Clearly mimetic poly-alloy from any part of the body is interchangeable, therefore it must be homogenous. Poly-alloy is poly-alloy; no matter where it comes from, it all appears to have the same properties. So while the thought of depositing some of my DNA on Kristanna Loken's tongue is infinitely appealing (see what I did there?), I've gotta think that if one part of the T-X's poly-alloy structure can read genetic code, then pretty much any part of it should be able to. If mimetic poly-alloy can scan DNA, the T-X's finger should have been able to detect Kate Brewster's blood on contact. No need for the poorly acted, overly dramatic taste test.
(Dumb)- The T-X is more advanced that the T1000, so why is it endoskeleton based? Why does it have a solid form at all? The T1000 was composed of millions, perhaps billions of individual machines. The T-X seems to be some form of advanced endoskeleton that is covered in a poly-mimetic alloy or material. That would, in essence, make it inferior to the T1000 in design since it has a solid core as opposed to the T1000's total liquid metal construction. Perhaps the T-X exists between the T-800 series and the T1000 series. That would make more sense, given what we are shown in the movies. I don't think SKYNET would take a step backwards in technology and design. The T1000, no matter what is shown in the movie, still seems to be the most advanced Terminator design. Also, if the T1000 can't form complex mechanical objects like weapons, chemicals, bullets, etc., then how can the T-X do so? I guess technology really does change (at least between movies).
I don't agree with you here. First of all, there was never any indication that the T-1000 was composed of billions of machines. It was composed of mimetic poly-alloy, which was literally a (presumably) electrically controlled liquid metal. It wasn't a bunch of little nanomachines, it was one machine, composed entirely of liquid. It was a whole new order of technology. Besides, nowhere in the movie does the Governator say that the T-X is more advanced than the T-1000. It only says that the T-X is more advanced than itself.
The T-1000 is almost certainly more complex than the T-X, I'll give you that. But that doesn't necessarily mean its superior. In T2 we saw that both massive kinetic energy and extreme temperatures can severely deform a mimetic poly-alloy structure, rendering part or all of the T-1000 temporarily incapable of useful movement. This weakness, in fact, led directly to its destruction. The T-X, on the other hand, can lose 100% of its mimetic poly-alloy and still function as a Terminator because its endoskeleton provides a stable framework. Also, it is that very endoskeleton which housed the reconfigurable hard components necessary for the T-X to form weapons and tools with moving parts, an ability the T-1000 did not have.
I don't think this is a case of one model being superior to another, I think this is more an issue of one given Terminator design being better suited to a specific task than another. I would agree with you that the T-1000 seems to be the more advanced model, which would explain why SKYNET chose to send it to kill John Connor, it's primary target. But it also seems to me that sending a model with internally stored long range weapons is not such a bad idea when the mission is to track and eliminate multiple targets. What is a bad idea, and what you should really be complaining about, is the notion of an "anti-Terminator Terminator." This concept is so repulsively retarded that I'm not sure I can even muster the strength to overcome my nausea and post a sexy picture of Kristanna Løken.
Oh, hey, look, I did it. I'm a hero!
Here's something that'll probably piss you off: both of these Terminators are unnecessarily over-engineered and inefficient. The Resistance obviously knows about poly-alloy Terminators; John Connor has known about them before they were invented. He obviously passed this info along. If he hadn't, the reprogrammed T-800 in T2 couldn't have known about T-1000s. They're easily detected as machines; fucking dogs can sense them. And since the Resistance uses dogs in the future, the effectiveness of any of these models as infiltration units is very limited. Mimetic poly-alloy is fucking cool, don't get me wrong, but at the end of the day it just doesn't do much for them. The only thing they can do with it as far as killing is concerned is make stabbing or bludgeoning weapons, and as we saw in Terminator, stabbing and bludgeoning weapons are not really necessary for a robot that can punch through your rib cage.
In fact, I'd go so far as to say that the most efficient, most all around useful Terminator we've seen so far is the old school Cyberdyne Systems Model 101. It has proven in live fire situations to be more adaptible, creative, durable, and lethal than either the T-1000 or the T-X, and it has a superior mission success rate. In T2 and T3 we saw heavily damaged T-800s defeat both those more advanced models while still fulfilling their other mission objectives, and it was ultimately a 101 that succeeded in terminating John Connor. These are proven machines. They may not be as flashy or technologically complex as those later models, but they excel in the only area that really counts: they get the job fucking done. Why would the world's smartest computer expend the resources to manufacture an army made of mimetic poly-alloy when it had at it's disposal a much cheaper, more reliable, combat proven Terminator design? The answer is simple – it wouldn't. It would just make more Arnies.
Cyberdyne Systems Series 800-888 Model 101
When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room – accept no substitutes.
(Dumb)- Where does the T-X get the fuel for its built-in flamethrower?
From the future. BOOYAH! The jokes never stop here, my friend. FUCKING NEVER!
The question you should be asking, Chris, is why in the sweet, sticky fuckhole of Moses does the T-X have a god damn flamethrower in the first place? If the T-X really is an "anti-Terminator Terminator" – I just threw up in my mouth a little from typing that – then this is the most useless weapon in the world. Terminators walking unharmed through raging flames is a god damn staple of the Terminator franchise; the image is practically iconic. They are clearly not injured by fire, so why in the hell would SKYNET design a machine to kill Terminators and arm it with a weapon that it knows cannot harm them? And I don't want to hear any bullshit about it being some kind of special futuristic flamethrower; if the flame was hot enough to damage a Terminator it would damage the T-X itself. SKYNET may as well have designed an anti-Terminator weapon that peppers T-800s with cotton balls or scathing insults.
The concept of a Terminator designed to kill other Terminators is a stupid, stupid idea. The concept of a Terminator designed to throw fire at another Terminator is a mountainous heap of steaming hot shit, and everyone in the chain of command that allowed this to get on screen should be lined up and suckerpunched right in the asshole. I should not be forced to tolerate this sort of shoddy writing and inferior workmanship in my sci-fi. I demand satisfaction, god damn it!
IM IN UR TIMELINE KILLIN UR TR33Z
(Dumb)- John Connor doesn’t even know where his mother is buried. He doesn’t even know his mother was cremated. Apparently he was with her during her final years of fighting leukemia, but after that, he lost track of her at the very instant that she died. I find that odd. However, the T-850 knows everything about Sarah Connor, and it found this out through Kate Brewster in the future (apparently), so if John didn't know, how did Kate know? If Kate didn't know, how did she program the T-850 with the information?
Dude, nice catch! Like I said before, I have seen this movie MANY times, and that is one plot hole I had not yet seen. And it's a fuckin' doozy! Nice work, Chris.
I went back to review this scene and you're right; the only explanation for this we see on-screen is that we are witnessing a temporal paradox. At the end of this film, Kate is sealed off during the global thermonuclear holocaust, meaning that there's no way she or John could research his mother's death and investigate her final resting place. The only way they could get this information was by learning it from the Terminator, then programming him with the very information that he told her in the past. Bad form.
This is not kosher. This is a circular paradox in which correct information was somehow created out of thin air by two characters who could not possibly have known it. If Kate told the Terminator, then the Terminator told Kate, that's a closed loop. Relativistically speaking, the information exists only between those two, and, therefore only information which those two either previously possesed or invented themselves should be within it. But this is not the case. Somehow these two characters whom have never met Sarah Connor nor any of her friends knew that her friends buried a weapons cache instead of her body in a cemetary that neither of them had ever been to before. How is this possible? What do you have to say for yourselves, shitty screenplay writers? The Chrisses demand an explanation!
Like any major motion picture there are a TON of screw-ups and continuity errors in this film. For a movie of the Terminator franchise, which centers around time travel and therefore needs to be more carefully monitored, there are a few more than are really forgivable in this film (here's a list). But this one is absolutely inexcusable. This is a time travel movie, people. Let's pay a little more attention to temporal logic. It's not that hard to make it all work if you just put a little effort into it.
(Dumb)- Sarah Connor died of leukemia in Mexico which is a crappy way to write such a main character out of the story. They should have left Arnold out of the movie as well. His appearance did more to damage the continuity / credibility of the franchise than it did to help it. In the T2:JD book by Randal Frakes, Sarah Connor does die, but she dies escorting a convoy of supplies up from Mexico when it is ambushed by multiple HKs. John receives the news of his mother's death just as SKYNET falls, so it is a bitter victory since his mother just died, and he is also about to send Reese (his father) back in time to his eventual death at the hands of the first Terminator. Here is the excerpt from the T2 novel which proves this.
"Fuentes had brought him the news. John had been crouched in a blasthole crater, giving final instructions to a squad of soldiers still in their teens. They were bright, eager, and dispensable. They would all later die in a diversionary battle that would lead to a major victory. As he watched them snake out into the moonlit ruins, Fuentes turned to John, struggling to remain calm as he gave his nightly field report. The supply convoy from Mexico had been ambushed by a squad of HKs. There were no survivors…
Sarah Connor had been leading that convoy. She had been ordered out of the action, but Sarah went her own way, and few people had the rank or the balls to stop her…
-Frakes, TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY
First of all, I want you to know I agree with the spirit of your complaint. It was an extremely shitty way to treat such an iconic character. It would have been better for me as a Terminator fan if Sarah simply hadn't been mentioned. Although the news of her death from lukemia was used brilliantly as a plot device in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, I would have preferred not to picture her wasting away from cancer. It seems like such a futile, hopeless way for a powerful character to die. It also smacks of very lazy writing. If the character meant that little to the story it would have been best not to mention her at all. Killing such a beloved character off-screen is bad, but doing so with a single line of dialogue is the laziest, most pointless way out of constructing a meaningful plot I can imagine.
That being said, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your argument proves nothing. Novelizations mean jack shit when analyzing a film. Novelizations are often begun before the film is finalized and are typically written from an outline of the screenplay, which may undergo numerous revisions even as the movie is being shot. The entire plot of the film may change after the novelization is already written, opening any novelization to wild inaccuracy.
You can tell a lot about novelizations by considering the fact that most established authors won't write them, even for hit franchises like Terminator. It's enough of a pain in the ass to write around someone else's story, but the authors also have to write carefully within the confines of what the copyright holders will allow. Most novelizations are published directly to paperback, decreasing any royalties the author may be entitled to. Add to that the fact that the base pay, if any, is not great in the first place, and that the author has no copyrights of the ideas and concepts that he's writing about, and there is very little incentive for an established author to bother.
Established authors that do write novelizations tend to do so at the insistence of their publisher, and write them in exchange for future concessions and with the understanding that they will be allowed great freedom write the story as they think it should be told. In 1965, Isaac Asimov novelized Fantastic Voyage only after the publisher and studio agreed that he would be entirely free to correct any plot holes and scientific inaccuracies as he saw fit (read all about it here). His novel is very inconsistent with the final film, marring its validity as a source of information about that story. And he's Isaac Fucking Asimov. If his version of a story can be so wildy different from the film on which it was based, why in the hell should we trust a relative lightweight like Randall Frakes to provide pinpoint accuracy?
Again, I agree with the spirit of your complaint, but in the end it comes down to this: either due to screenplay revisions or the author's interpretation, by the time a novelization is published and the movie released, they may be two very separate entities. Sorry, but novelizations just don't count.
(Dumb)- John Connor says he isn’t in "the system," yet he’s riding a motorcycle. Surely the motorcycle has a license plate… if it doesn’t, he’s sure to get noticed by law enforcement and that would lead to all sorts of legal entanglement. As a police officer, I know one of the primary reasons why we pull people over is no visible tag. We won’t discuss his driver’s license either that he had to produce in order to prove he was 21 in order to buy that beer that he’s drinking on the side of the bridge.
Come on, Chris. You've made some good points in this article, but this is goddamned ridiculous. Terminator 2 showed very clearly that Sarah had trained John quite thoroughly in the arts of forgery, theft, and evading law enforcement. As a police officer yourself, I find it impossible to believe that you have never heard of stolen license plates, stolen vehicles, or the illegal purchase of alcohol. These things don't exist just within the purview of the Terminator franchise, nor science fiction in general – all of these things are drawn from real life and have been happening for far longer than either of us have been alive.
To imagine that John would be asked to show ID to get a beer is not unreasonable, but to imagine that John would not already have forged at least one fake driver's license or ID of some kind is absolutely stupid. No one who has led a life so bent on survivalism, fraud and the necessary evasion of authority would not have false identification. In fact, if he had gone the quasi-legitemate route, John could not have gotten the job we see him working without such ID. An employer on the up and up would require, at the very least, a Social Security number and driver's license number for tax purposes. Even if such a license was not legit, it could certainly get him a beer. And if it didn't, we know John Connor to be a charismatic, likeable individual. If he couldn't find someone to sell him a beer, I'm certain he could find a buddy to buy one for him. Hell, I myself have drank in bars and purchased liquor innumerable times without having ever been asked for ID, sometimes long before I was legally allowed to do so. Getting a beer is not difficult. Teenagers do it all the time. As a cop, I expect you know that all too well.
As for registering for motorcycle tags… are you kidding me? Do you honestly think that John purchased that bike? From an authorized dealership? And then legally registered it at the DMV? Are you fucking high? We should assume that everything John owns was just as stolen as that dog medication would have been that he broke into the clinic to get. John Connor may be the hero of this story, but let's not forget that he is also a lifelong fugitive, criminal, thief, and liar. John Connor did not fucking register for anything. The very notion is completely absurd. You may as well ask how he got his gun permits, or the bounty hunting license that allowed him to take Kate Brewster into custody. He didn't. He very illegally takes whom and what he needs to survive so that he can protect himself and prevent SKYNET from erasing humanity. Registrations and legal permission don't enter into the equation. I can't understand how you can be so well versed in the lore of the Terminator universe and not get that. The bike was either stolen, given to him or purchased under the aegis of false ID. Same with the tags. This is NOT a vehicle legally registered to John Connor. Any claim to the contrary is laughable.
"On your toes, people. This virus is extra virusy. We need more glass walls and brushed aluminum flatscreens covered with science buttons if we're ever gonna stop this thing."
(Dumb)- The world is being infected by a super computer virus. The last hope of America seems to be SKYNET and bringing it online will allow the AI to go through every computer system in America in a matter of minutes and wipe out the super virus. Huh? Explain the logic in that? One super computer is going to be able to wipe out the virus on every computer in America in a few minutes. Hell! it takes me most of the night on dial-up to download a patch for MS Windows but this super computer is going to somehow reach through the Internet, check my computer, clean off the virus all in a few minutes… right.
The Chrisses agree. You are 100% on target with this criticism, sir, and let me just add on a personal note that this shit drives me NUTS. We do not live in the 1950s. Computers are not mysterious machines accessed only by the most highly placed, Commie hunting government super spies and bleeding edge research scientists. This kind of bullshit was forgivable as late as the mid 80s, when the general populace couldn't really be expected to know what computers and networking were really capable of. But no longer. Computers are ubiquitous. They are part of our everyday lives. It is not too much to ask that people who write movies at least have some sort of grasp of what computers can and cannot do. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE WRITING A MOVIE ABOUT A FUCKING COMPUTER.
Jesus fucking Christ, people, know your audience. This film was aimed at sci-fi geeks and video gamers. These people know computers, trust me. They know that any such "super-virus" would only do damage for about two days, after which people and businesses would simply begin disconnecting their computers from the fucking internet to prevent it from spreading. That's all it would take. No virus is ever going to singlehandedly bring the entire global computer network down; only teams of hackers, mass spammers or terrorists physically destroying equipment will ever accomplish that. The audience for this film is sophisticated enough to know that it doesn't matter how incredibly fast and efficient the SKYNET hardware is, it can only work on a PC as fast as that PC's processor and its internet connection. Perform all the billions of calculations per second you like, SKYNET; you're only going to take over my parents' computer at 56kbs, and that's assuming that all the hot, barely legal Asian bondage fetish pornography Ma Sci-Fi downloads isn't eating up any bandwidth at the time. Thanks for helping to protect us from SKYNET, Mom. Porn saves the day again!
The face of the Resistance.
(Dumb)- The super computer virus is actually produced by SKYNET and apparently the virus is SKYNET. Huh? So, if SKYNET is the super virus, why does it have to be brought online to complete its takeover of Earth? Think about it. Here is SKYNET, in charge of the nuclear arsenal, it has managed to escape from its super secure installation and infect the entire world with some virus form of itself, yet it needs humans to throw the switch to bring it online, give it freedom, and give it access to the nuclear missiles. How did it do all of that if it isn’t online or if it is shielded from the outside world by impregnable digital security? And if SKYNET was a super virus, why didn't it just attack some other world defense system, like Russia? I bet they would have had easier missiles to hack and launch than the US does. Hell, if SKYNET was some super computer virus, they didn't need John Connor, they needed Peter Norton!
SKYNET was not the virus. The virus was something else, something separate. They brought SKYNET online to combat the virus, and the two somehow merged and thus was born the most retarded idea in the whole of the Terminator franchise. At least that's the message I got from the movie. The truth is that this was so poorly explained I still can't tell you exactly how it went down. To be honest, this whole virus thing felt tacked on, like it was part of a separate movie they kept forgetting to address because of its extreme irrelevance. You could remove 100% of this idiotic super-virus subplot and the movie would be five times better. The SKYNET virus is the midi-chlorians of the Terminator universe: unnecessary, unappealing, unmeaning and unenjoyable.
(Dumb)- SKYNET is a sentient computer virus. Apparently it has taken control of all data and communications lines in the world and yet it can't bring humanity to its knees. it controls the flow of all information, all banks, all data, yet life goes on normally. There are no long lines for gas when the credit cards don't work, there are no riots when banks can't give out money, the world is going to hell rather nicely, don't you think? Connor says that SKYNET was on every computer, in every home, dorm room, file server, etc. around the world. Huh? Well, that's not a good idea, because when SKYNET launches its nuclear strike, nine out of every ten of those computers are going to be destroyed, and the rest won't have any power to them, so SKYNET would be cutting its own throat by destroying 99.99% of its life / body. If it's a virus, it must be pretty small and pretty smart, to be able to survive on just a few isolated computers after the nuclear exchange and then to rebuild the world in its own image. Now, if SKYNET were a central computer, a core, protected under Cheyenne Mountain, then yeah, that would make sense. But having SKYNET being some group mind of all the Machines on line and in use by Napster and AOL users just doesn't work, logically or story wise.
Amen. This was a stupid, stupid idea. I don't think the societal collapse you envision would happen quite as quickly or easily as you think, because a larger part of our society than people tend to realize still runs on cash, which is available with or without computer assistance. But your comments on SKYNET are dead on. If it really was a widely distributed intelligence that existed on millions of consumer grade networked computers, then launching a nuclear strike to wipe out dense population centers where those computers would be found would be tantamount to committing suicide. This part of the story is absolutely idiotic.
Dumb)- John Connor is racing his motorcycle at night in the country. He barely misses a deer and wrecks. Where did his bike go? The next thing we know, he’s in downtown LA at a veterinarian clinic looking for drugs. You think he would be smart enough to break into a human clinic, instead of try to apply animal drugs to his system. Also, why is he taking so many chances? I thought he accepted his future in the second movie. In this movie, he’s acting like a spoiled brat again who isn’t getting his way. In the first part of the movie, he pines away for the future that never was, then when he runs smack into it face first, he starts not wanting it. Make up your mind, you whiney baby.
Dude, this is a chick complaint. You're just nitpicking for the sake of nitpicking. The implication was that his bike was undrivable after the wreck, which is not unreasonable. And human clinics might not be so smart to break into, especially since many of them are open and staffed around the clock. You may work in law enforcement, but I worked for a long time in medical information systems, and I can tell you that clinics that store medicine in high risk areas, which is where most clinics are located, often mitigate drug theft by installing machines that dispense medicine in carefully controlled doses. We call them 'robots', which sounds pretty cool in the context of this article, but is completely inaccurate. It would be more on the money to call these things "those insanely expensive shitty contraptions that make carnival arcade claw machines look like hyperaccurate robotic surgeons." It would be easier to break into a thousand animal clinics than to try to get drugs out of one of these things. Even when they're working well, they're a glacially slow pain in the ass to deal with. You're lucky if these dispense correctly when you're using them right. Trying to get one to dispense without proper authorization? Forget it. The security at an animal clinic is almost surely going to be easier to deal with than any of that noise.
(Dumb)- The T850 reprises the opening scenes of T2 by walking naked into a bar and grabbing some guy and taking his clothes. A redneck four wheel drive with a shotgun in the rear window is conveniently located in the parking lot. The T850 checks the sun visor (something that Connor taught the T800 to do in T2, but did not teach the T850 in this movie, so where did the learned behavior come from?) for keys, finds them, starts the truck and drives away. Nobody gives any pursuit despite some big naked guy coming into a strip bar, beating the hell out of a flaming queen on stage, then walking out and taking someone else’s truck. And why were there rednecks at a bar that had gay strippers? it must have been NASCAR and all you can eat hot wings night….
More girl bitching. Man up, sir, you're creating problems where none exist. Yes, the keys in the visor was a stupid, thoughtless incongruity. It should never have been in there. But the rest of your complaints are needless. The redneck truck is justified if you look at the clientèle. They're a bunch of redneck chicks. Did you think only guys drive pickups and have guns? I come from the country, sir, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that if you thought that, you're dead wrong.
It wasn't a redneck bar with a random gay stripper. It wasn't a redneck bar at all. It led you to think it was a redneck bar, then revealed itself to be a strip club for women. The problem is not with the scene, but in your inability to make that transition. The filmmakers were messing with your perceptions and expectations, which is not all that unheard of. I think you just need to watch this again and accept that this scene was played for comedy, like the "Bad To The Bone" shotgun and sunglasses theft in T2. And to be fair, it really wasn't too badly done. The star shaped sunglasses gag was a bit much, but the "talk to the hand" bit was pretty damn funny. It's just there for a laugh, Chris. There are much, much more deserving parts of this film on which to focus your rancor.
(Dumb)- John Connor just happens to break into the veterinarian clinic where his future wife / second in command works. His future wife answers an emergency call and finds John has broken into the clinic, a fight ensues, John falls for one of the oldest tricks in the book, and she locks Connor in an animal cage. John is also armed with a paint ball gun, not a real gun. Like a paint ball gun is going to do anything against a Terminator… what a pacifist idiot.
He didn't "just happen" to break in there. This is how they got together. This is part of the story. This is how they reconnected. I am not bashing you personally for saying this, Chris, but I've read a hundred complaints along this vein, and it irks me to the core. This is how John and Kate get together. We are watching the relationship begin. I don't understand how people can't get that. There is no coincidence at play here. We are watching them get together. And I don't know what book you're reading, but locking someone in a dog kennel isn't any old trick that I've ever heard of.
John was not expecting to use the paintball gun against a Terminator. He thought Judgment Day had been stopped, remember? And since he broke into the clinic at night when no one was around, I think it's safe to assume he wasn't planning to use the gun at all. It was a backup, and something he wouldn't get thrown in prison for carrying if he was arrested. Besides, if he were expecting SKYNET to send more machines after him, what good would a real handgun do against a Terminator? Might as well just fire paintballs at it.
"Let's try and keep the chemistry to a minimum, shall we?"
(Dumb)- The T-X appears at the veterinarian clinic looking for one of Connor’s future lieutenants. Bonus time! The T-X also finds Connor and his future wife is there? Now how did the T-X know that Connor’s wife was at the clinic on the emergency call? The T-X didn’t intercept any communications and didn’t interrogate the fiancé until later.
Really? Do you seriously need this explained to you? You're killin' me, Smalls. You're killin' me.
This wasn't some sort of coincidence! Kate Brewster IS one of John's future lieutenants. She is one of the ones the T-X is hunting, and she is the one the T-X was there to kill. The T-X's arrival in 2003 sets in motion a chain of events that will lead to John and Kate getting together. There is no coincidence in action here; we're watching the way things take shape.
(Dumb)- how did the T-X know about Kate's fiancé, or where he lived? Were they living together?
Probably. Lots of people do that nowadays, because we live in a blasphemous age of godless, fornicating sinners.
What are you, 90? Of course they were living together. She works the kind of shit job where she has to answer emergency calls for cats with hairballs at three in the fucking morning. Trust me, she's not well paid. She needs a roommate. Plus she is a woman who has an absent military father, so she probably has some sort of needy female daddy issues to go along with her almost certainly creepy love of animals as surrogates for human relationships and/or the babies she doesn't have, like so many other psycho, cat hoarding would-be veterinary chicks. Yes, she's living with this guy. Count on it.
(Dumb)- the T-X can use a cellular phone to dial into the LA public education system and pull up records of students, their faces, and where they live. it speaks computer language like a modem over the cellular phone. Shouldn't it have had this information before it came back in time? The mission seems to be: go back in time, find out who you're supposed to kill, then kill them. Not a very good mission start.
The Terminator sent to 1984 didn't have that kind of info. Why should the T-X? According to Kyle Reese in Terminator there's a very good chance that publicly recorded personal information on Connor's soldiers no longer exists in the future. During his interrogation he explains why the Terminator killed two other Sarah Connors before it found the right one:
"Most of the records were lost in the war. SKYNET knew almost nothing about Connor's mother; her full name, where she lives. They just knew the city. The Terminator was just being systematic."
If SKYNET knew this little about Sarah Connor, a known fugitive who was recognized in T2 from her escape from Pescadero and her destruction of Cyberdyne's R&D facility, a criminal at large with a very public record of extreme violence, it's not much of a stretch to imagine that it probably has incomplete info on less well known figures.
What really bugs me about this scene is the ease with which the T-X finds its targets. Like Reese said, most of the records were lost in the war. How the hell would the T-X know how to find a phone line with a working dial-up modem, then establish a connection with a school system by which it could gain access to protected, confidential student records? And even supposing it did have that information, I find it difficult to believe that ALL of these people in the future were from the same city and school system, and can all be identified and located with one fucking search. BULLSHIT. Not one of John Connor's people is from out of town? Really? None of them went to a private school? None of their parents' requested to have their home address left off the school's computer system? None of them were shitty students who falsified their address to keep their parents from learning about bad grades or disciplinary issues? None of them were dropouts, expelled, or home schooled? None of them were born after Judgment Day like Kyle Reese? What the fuck ever. There's such a thing as plot convenience, and then there's just plain stupid.
Furthermore, there is no way in hell it should have been this easy to track those kids down, especially the one at work. ALL the kids were home except the one poor bastard that died in the drive through wearing his McJob uniform? Really? I would comment on what a shitty way that would be to go if I found it even slightly plausible that this would really happen. I find it extremely hard to believe that any school system would have such complete records on a kid's life that it would know not only where he works, but the shift he is on at any given time and the fact that he is working the drive-thru window on a given night. BULLSHIT. I don't buy it. They should have taken a cue from James Cameron and made the T-X do a little more legwork, like the previous Terminators. That would have been far more realistic.
Most overused promo still ever.
(Dumb)- The T850 just happens to show up out of the blue in time to save John’s future wife and have a short battle with the T-X. Talk about timing! How did he know where John would be or where the T-X was? I guess John told him in the future "drive real fast to the animal clinic because we're getting our asses kicked."
No, Kate told him in the future. John didn't send this Terminator back, remember? Kate did.
(Dumb)- The T850 says he is an obsolete design, yet he was sent to terminator John Connor and accomplished this goal which makes the T850 more effective than the T800 and the T1000 which were sent to do the same mission and could not accomplish this task.
Would you consider bows and arrows obsolete as weapons of war? As compared to tanks and planes and mortars and warships and .50 caliber machine guns, I mean? Because all of those modern weapons manned by trained combatants were used by virtually every major nation involved in WWII. Archers, being an obsolete and antiquated type of warrior, were ony employed by one nation in WWII. That country was the United States of America, and archers were used by an elite unit of the US Army called the Philippine Scouts. The nation that ended the war with nuclear weapons was the same nation that used bows and arrows as an effective anti-Japanese weapon in the Pacific.
The point of all this is that just because a weapon is obsolete doesn't mean you don't use it. Many modern soldiers have probably never held a bow, but back then, in the Philippines, it was used because it was available and needed, and it was great for the job at hand. Suppose you had a bow and arrow and were actively engaged in a fight for your life. Would you use it, or would you throw it down and hope something better turned up? Of course you would use it; you'd be stupid not to. The Resistance had a handily reprogrammed T-850 available. What were they supposed to do, let it go to waste in hopes that someone would capture and reprogram a T-1000 or a T-X? Fuck no; they used an asset they had at their disposal and send it out to do what needed to be done.
This shotgun is a 10-gauge Winchester, which has long been obsolete as a self defense firearm. In combat against a T-1000 it proved to be an extremely effective anti-Terminator weapon, despite the fact that it was designed in 1887.
Although it successfully completed its mission where other superior units failed, I can see how the T-850 might be considered an obsolete machine as compared to the T-1000. Obsolecence does not necessarily imply uselessness, only the lack of use due to the development of preferable technology. Obsolecence is not always a result of antiquation; sometimes it comes down to a decision. It may simply be decided that a given technology is obsolete and it is pushed aside, even if it is perfectly serviceable equipment. If SKYNET decided the 800 series Terminators were obsolete, then they were obsolete.
VHS tapes are an obsolete technology, but that doesn't mean they don't get utilized. There are still plenty of VCRs in active service today, and I can tell you from personal experience that it was only recently that some television studios switched over to fully digital production. As late as 2008 you could still edit and broadcast on S-VHS at the very studio that broadcasts The Sci-Fi Guys. Sometimes you've got to use whatever you have to get the job done. It's like Geordi LaForge said, "Just because something's old doesn't mean you throw it away." And just because SKYNET declared the 101s obsolete doesn't mean they can't still be used to kick a whole lot of ass.
(Dumb)- The T850 says it was selected because John Connor would have a personal attachment to the model due to his experience with it during his childhood years. How does SKYNET know this information? SKYNET was smashed, destroyed, off line when the Resistance sent back the T800 in the second movie and John wasn't even born when the first T800 arrived and fought Reese / Sarah Connor. John may remember the T800 from T2, but SKYNET wouldn't have known that the Resistance sent back the T800 as they did it after SKYNET was beaten. The computer was dead, it couldn't know this information as this information happened after SKYNET was destroyed.
Absolutely right. Furthermore, if SKYNET knew this, why didn't it simply program a T-1000 or T-X to mimic the Ahnuld model T-800/850 instead of sending an "obsolete" model? This is just stupid, stupid writing, and an idiotic way the writers tried to justify having Schwarzenegger in this film. You can really tell that at some point someone sat down and pointed out all the flaws in the script, and each of those flaws was answered hastily, with absolutely no regard to science, reason or even the most basic internal consistency. Contradictions of this sort are one of the prime indicators of a really shaky script.
(Dumb)- The movie also hints that this Terminator actually killed John Connor in the future. Let's see if I can explain this. The Resistance can reprogram Terminators that they capture (the process of capturing one would be hard enough, let alone reprogramming one) and until a Terminator is reprogrammed, it is pretty much a killing machine that is very anti-human. So, sometime in the far future, John Connor gets careless or he gets senile, supposedly sees his buddy "the Terminator" in his secret command base and runs up to hug him at which point the T850 simply kills him and Connor probably dies with a very surprised look on his face. Did logic just get thrown out the window on this movie? Yes. Now, logic (something this movie has very little of) would dictate that if Connor saw his buddy from his childhood come walking into his base headed for him, that he would realize two things; 1) This is the same model or likeness as the Terminator that I sent back to protect myself and 2) since I haven't reprogrammed this Terminator yet, it is probably pretty damn dangerous and I need to be chucking some plasma at it right now if I want to live. Also, you would think that the most important man in the world would be better protected, and that his body guards would be able to recognize Terminators, if not from years of experience in dealing with them, then by having dogs, sensors, etc. If you play the T3 video game, you find out that Connor's personal guards were about as smart and alert as Amos and Andy when it came to guarding him. Any Terminator could have walked in and blasted John Connor according to how the scene plays out in the video game as Connor is protected by two slack jawed yokels who are half asleep when the Terminator walks in and asks to see John Connor. Like Connor is some kind of loan officer at a bank and the T850 needs to talk to him about a mortgage. Grrrrr.
So John Connor hugs a Terminator then gets a mortgage? Wait… what? What the hell are you talking about?
(Dumb)- If John Connor was dead, why send the T-X back at all? The Resistance would have been dealt a major blow both in morale and leadership, so all SKYNET would have to do is wait for the Resistance to start to fall apart then throw itself at the scattered pocket cells. With Connor gone, SKYNET could cat and mouse the remaining Resistance forces to pieces and achieve victory in a few years at most. For a super efficient, super smart computer, SKYNET really does pull some incredibly dumb ideas.
No, the Resistance would not have been dealt a blow. In fact, it would not have been effected in the slightest. Watch Terminator again. Kyle Reese spells out very clearly that killing John Connor in the future would have no impact whatsoever.
Dr. Silberman: I see. And this, uh, computer thinks it can win by, uh, killing the mother of its enemy, killing him in effect, before he's even conceived. Some sort of retroactive abortion? Why didn't the computer just kill John Connor then? I mean, why this obsession with the Terminator?
Kyle: It had no choice. Their defense grid was smashed. We'd won. Taking out Connor then would make no difference. SKYNET had to wipe out his entire existence.
Dr. Silberman: Is that when you captured the lab complex and found the, uh, what's it called? The time-displacement equipment?
Kyle: That's right. The Terminator had already gone through. Connor sent me to intercept and they blew the whole place.
(Dumb)- SKYNET was smashed in the first and second movie. So in the third movie, how is SKYNET still online, fully functional and able to send advanced Terminators back in time as it pleases? The beauty of the story of T2 was that when you thought that only one Terminator had gone back, you find out that SKYNET had played an ace it had up its sleeve, and thrown all of its luck into one last gamble. T3 pretty much invalidated that story and undermined the whole aspect of T2.
T3 pretty much undermined the whole aspect of everything we knew about the Terminator universe. That's part of my complaint with it, and part of the reason I absolutely LOVE Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. T3 invalidated the idea that there is "no fate but what we make" by treating Judgment Day as if it were inevitable and unavoidable, without ever having explained exactly how or why that should be the case. Then The Sarah Connor Chronicles came along and invalidated T3 by moving Sarah Connor forward in time, thus negating the events of T3, including her shitty offscreen death by lukemia, and restoring James Cameron's "no fate" ideology to the Terminator universe. The show was extremely well written and pays considerable attention to the events of Sarah's life as set up in the first two movies. Plus, Lena Headey, Summer Glau and most of the other semi-regular sci-fi chicks to be found therein are smokin' fuckin' hot, so I would suggest to you that you use the soothing, cool balm of The Sarah Connor Chronicles to ease the road rash of T3. It's good medicine, my friend.
You're welcome.
(Dumb)- If SKYNET was destroyed in the past as well as the future, where the heck does the CRS come from? CRS, for those who don't know, is a popular joke that goes "I suffer from CRS: Can't Remember Shit." and in this movie, I think that the CRS labs stands for just that as the producers forgot all about the first two movies, and in trying to follow any plot links to those two. So, if all trace of SKYNET is destroyed in the attack on Cyberdyne, how does SKYNET still come around, and why is the project still called SKYNET? You would think that if all trace were destroyed, that so would be the project and project name. The ending of T2 was also somewhat badly written. Ideally, in the end of T2, after the destruction of the T-800, I felt that everything should whip-snap back into place, and the ending should have shown 1984 again, with the black man in the garbage truck. He would have pulled up to the dumpster, emptied the dumpster, and drove on. In other words, we should have been shown the very first scene of the 1984 movie as if nothing had happened because SKYNET would never have been created, and none of this would have ever taken place. But then, that wouldn't allow for any sequels in the past, only in the future and the future war. Pity that Cameron didn't seal the ending of T2 better, if he had, we probably would never have had to witness the franchise partial birth abortion that was T3: ROTM.
Dude, what the hell are you talking about? The ending of T2 was just about as well written as time travel movies get. It wasn't James Cameron's fault T3 got made. He was asked to direct it and turned them down. The reason he gave was that he thought the Terminator story was done. He never planned on making any more films. He turned down the option to even produce the thing. Can't blame the man for a movie he refused to have anything to do with.
(Dumb)- The T-X has the ability to ‘infect’ other machines and take them over. This might work for automated assembly lines and computer systems, but when she infects a couple of police cars and an ambulance, you have to wonder where the extra controls miraculously spawn from. The accelerator is driven by the power of a human working the pedal, ditto for the transmission shift lever. Logically, you would need additional levers, pulleys, and gears to ‘drive’ a vehicle designed for human control. Since it takes a human to work the brakes and shift the transmission, logically, a bunch of little machines aren’t going to be able to reconfigure these aspects of the car to work by remote control unless they cannibalize large parts of the car’s structure to construct these new contraptions. Just putting some nanobots into the system isn’t going to get the job done. it must have been nano-magic, which is what it amounts to in the end. The effect was seriously, seriously dumb. She might as well have waved her hand and done some effect from one of the Harry Potter movies and it would have made just as much sense. The T1000 was made of nano-machines, and it couldn’t infect other machines.
YES, YES, YES! THANK YOU! This is my #1 complaint with this movie. This scene has bugged the shit out of me since I first saw it, and each time I've watched it since, I've cringed. It bothers me more than anything else in this whole flick, including the mysterious "third arm" we'll you'll talk about later. Listen to Chris & Chris on this one, people. This scene is flat out fucking impossible, and that's SLOPPY, SLOPPY FILMMAKING.
Anyone who has ever engaged cruise control on a late '80s Cadillac (the best, most responsive cruise control system I have ever had the pleasure to use) has felt that odd sensation of the gas pedal pulling down away from their foot. It's a weird feeling for the car to take over like that, but the mechanisms are clearly there, so I'm willing to allow that the mechanisms in moden cars do allow for a measure of this kind of control. And with the increasing computerization of cars, I'm willing to believe that more and more of that is electronic nowadays. Keyless entry, electronic braking systems, wireless remote ignition, fully electronic cruise control and computer controlled fuel injection are all standard on some cars, so by the tenants of sci-fi/comic book logic, I'm willing to let the T-X's control of all those systems slide as plausible. Doubtful, but by sci-fi action movie standards plausible.
But until very recently there has never been ANYTHING installed in any production vehicle that would allow a car to steer itself. NEVER. Steer by wire technology exists, yes, but it is not implemented. It's not legal in any state that I know of, and would not only require a leap in technology and funding to install it in older vehicles, but also a great deal of new legislation. Unless we're talking about Bumblebee or Herbie The Love Bug, I believe people as a rule are not comfortable with the idea of cars that drive themselves. That's why there's never been a big demand for them, and why there's not any out there. Cars of the types seen in T3 simply cannot steer themselves, no matter what kind of control you have over the computer. The mechanisms to make that possible do not exist on these models. This scene is fucking RETARDED.
I don't know jack about the new IPAS/APGS parking systems. From what I gather they only work in reverse and only under a certain speed. Maybe these limitations are computer controlled and the T-X could disable them, so it's possible this scene would be plausible if filmed today with one of the very limited models that have this feature. But not in 2003, and certainly not with heavy duty vehicles like ambulances and fire trucks. This is whole scene is BULLSHIT. One hundred percent grade-B Hollywood bullshit.
"Stop stealing my schtick."
(Dumb)- The T-X chooses a giant crane as its pursuit vehicle. If you have ever been around these monsters, you know that the two things that they do not have are speed and handling, two critically important aspects of pursuit. Even the T1000 was smart enough to get a police car and later a police motorcycle for pursuit. The T-X doesn’t seem to be very good at creating a low profile during its mission, it seems to prefer to drive as fast as possible in straight lines, kill everything between it and its target, and make a mess of the landscape. The T850 shows some better intelligence by getting a police motorcycle to follow the T-X.
I passed a big 14 wheeled truck mounted crane on the highway a few weeks ago. I can't speak for their maneuverability, but I can tell you that speed is not an issue for these things. That crane was going 65 mph at the very least, and we were going up a grade. Handling I'll have to take your word on, but big truck mounted cranes have speed, believe me.
Terminators seem to go for vehicles with big heavy duty engines, so I don't know why the T-X stealing this crane is such a problem for you. Both the T-800 and the T-1000 from the first two movies stole semis to chase down their targets. Again, it is not an issue of keeping a low profile. The Terminators all had their targets in sight. Low profiles don't enter into the equation at that point. When the target is that close, Terminators go full force for the kill. The people, buildings, property, etc. between them and their targets are just obstacles to be avoided or destroyed in order to complete the mission.
(Dumb)- why doesn’t the general know his daughter has been kidnapped? I guess the super computer virus that is affecting all the phone systems could explain it. Everyone in the movie seems to know that the General's daughter has been kidnapped, hell a pair of detectives goes to visit the fiancé, but no one tells the General? (Dumb)- If the credit card data line is down at the convenience store, why does the store phone still work, allowing the clerk to call in the police on our three heroes? it would seem that if all communications were down or on the blink globally, as was hinted at, that the land line would also be down as well… duh. Even Kate Brewster's cell phone quit working due to the super virus infecting all the data systems, yet we're to believe that way out in the middle of nowhere, some clerk has access to the last working phone line and uses it to call the cops on our heroes? Right.
Good call. I don't remember the details of that scene, but it may have been that the computer at the other end of the credit card line was the problem. But if it was in fact a phone line issue, then the guy should never have been able to place a call. Nice catch, Chris. I never noticed that one.
(Dumb)- the whole silly doctor Silberman scene. Why? What purpose other than some really dumb slap-stick like lame comedy interlude to remind us of the bumbling idiot psychologist from T1 and T2? This is one scene that could have been deleted and not affected the movie in the least.
Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
(Dumb)- the idea that they could get a SWAT team together out in the county in such a short time, right on the heels of our heroes. Oh no, it’s another good Terminator vs. SWAT team scene taken straight out of the end of T2. Yawn.
I think the answer to this is pretty obvious. The SWAT team lives in the cemetery, like Sam Elliot in Ghost Rider. They are cursed to stay there until they have captured the Great Pumpkin and returned shattered corpse to the earth from whence he sprang. It's all pretty evident now, and if you were to put your mind to it I'm sure you would have drawn the same conclusions.
(Dumb)- when did they start making bulletproof coffins? How did Connor fit in the coffin if the Terminator took out just one weapon from the cache (the .30 machinegun)? The coffin was full of weapons and even an RPG. That must have been a really tight fit for John.
Yeah, I'm willing to say John might have fit, 'cause he was a skinny guy. But the coffin? Even if we assume Sarah Connor left instructions in her will to make the coffin bulletproof, that would somehow imply that she somehow knew it would need to be bulletproof. How in the hell she would have had this knowledge is inexplicable in terms of the story we were shown. More shit writing, I'm afraid.
(Dumb)- I think the idea of firing a RPG inside a vehicle isn’t very bright… The rocket exhaust should have set most of the front seat on fire and deafened Connor. What part of “rocket propelled” did the story writers not understand?
What part of "operator safety" do you not understand? If rocket propelled grenades had exhaust as severe as you describe they would burn the face off of every poor bastard that fired one just as soon as the rocket left the tube.
The RPG that Arnie fired was a Type 69 anti-tank rocket launcher, a Chinese copy of the Soviet RPG-7. Notice that it has no shield to prevent the propellant from setting the operator's head on fire. That's because the Type 69/RPG-7 launches rockets out of the tube with a gunpowder charge before the rocket fuel is ever burning. The rocket engine is designed to ignite only after the rocket itself has traveled at least 10 meters away from the weapon in order to prevent harm to the operator. To be honest, the only thing I find wrong with this scene is that I suspect the amount of backblast we saw was probably very much eggagerated. I doubt there would have been as much effect inside the car as was shown.
(Dumb)- the idea that Judgment Day is inevitable. Only when it comes to making more movies and raking in the profits. If this movie had dealt with John Connor after Judgment Day, in the future against the Machines, it would have not only of made sense, but been a much better movie as well.
I agree with you that Judgement Day should be stoppable. That was one of the tenants of the Terminator universe that James Cameron laid down in both of his Terminator movies: "the future is not set." But did you not see Terminator Salvation? That film dealt with John Connor after Judgment Day, in the future against the Machines. It did not make a lot of sense, and was most definitely NOT a better movie.
(Dumb)- during the height of a national crisis, when the entire nation is on the brink of a security disaster, when the most powerful man in the nation is the general in charge of SKYNET, you would think that security at that installation would be air tight. So, explain how John Connor, the general’s daughter, and a somewhat shot up Terminator just happen to walk into the middle of the command center without attracting just a tiny bit of attention from the security guards that may be located from the entrance of this structure all the way to the command center? Explain to me how the T850 can walk into one of the most secure installations in the nation while openly carrying a sawed off assault rifle and other weapons? Even the general hints at this when the T-X approaches him disguised as his daughter and says “Daddy!” and the General says “How did you…?” Also, where did the T-X get the Glock that she shoots the General with? She didn't have it after the wreck with the trucker and her choice of using the flame thrower. Most military installations use 9mm Berettas or .45 Colt pistols, not Glocks. You would think something as advanced as the T-X wouldn't need to use silly handguns to accomplish its mission but this T-X can't seem to put down the Glock.
Again with the gun complaint? Terminators use guns. They just do. In the first movie we even saw one go shopping for guns. I think you'd be used to it by now. Why does this bother you so much? You seem really upset by this whole robots with guns thing. Relax, bro. Just relax.
(Dumb)- the time line is off. Look at the age of John Connor, his age makes no sense if the first movie took place in 1984 and the second took place in 1991. John would have had to have been seven in the second movie, but he’s apparently around fourteen or fifteen, meaning that T2 takes place sometime in 1997 or 1998 so there’s a six year or so gap in logic. Connor is not the age that he should be in the film. The error is compounded in this movie as well.
The second movie didn't take place in 1991, it was released in 1991. It took place in 1994 or 1995, when John Connor was 10. He would have been around 20 years old in T3, and I think Nick Stahl can pass for that age.
[CORRECTION - I have reviewed the movies as well as the entire Sarah Connor Chronicles series and it is stated in no uncertain terms that T2 took place in 1997 when John Connor was 12 years old. My mistake. -Chris, 28 May 2010]
(Dumb)- how can the T-X infiltrate the SKYNET command center when it still looks the same, just in a uniform? Wouldn’t security stop any unfamiliar people trying to enter what has to be one of the most top secret / secure installations in America if not the world?
I think I can answer this. If we assume that th T-X's ID badge is just an extension of its poly-alloy, it's completely plausible that she could manipulate the security system at the card swipe terminal in the same way John did with his PIN reader in T2. It would have been nice if they had actually shown that, and of course that is only conjecture.
(Dumb)- the T-X has some interesting weapons. Why does it have a saw? That seems like an odd weapon to include on something that can rip a door off of a truck. Where does the T-X carry the fuel for its flame thrower? If it can regenerate, why can’t it repair its primary weapon when the weapon is damaged since the weapon is made from the same material as the T-X? A flame thrower would seem to be a short range weapon, and not a very good choice for pursuit. Ever try to run and chase someone with a garden hose? I bet you got wet as well. Same principle applies to using a flame thrower for pursuing your target as the philosophy of ‘don’t spit into the wind.’
I don't think a saw is a bad idea as a tool, especial for - hang on, I'm gagging; gimme a minute to clear the bile out of my throat – an anti-Terminator Terminator. It's hard to take a Terminator apart. Kyle Reese stuck a bomb right inside one and still couldn't kill it. But using a saw on Kate's fiancé seemed like a particularly huge waste of time. We as a species are not that hard to kill. No need to make a weapon when she could just as easily snap his neck, crush his windpipe, cave in his skull, or do one of a hundred quieter and quicker things. Seems like an awfully inefficient choice for a machine designed to kill.
(Dumb)- If SKYNET is in control of the complex, why does it need the T-X to infect the T100s with nanos and let them loose on the control personnel? Couldn’t SKYNET just bring the T100s on line and order them to kill everyone?
Probably not. I could be mistaken, but I don't think SKYNET's control was that widespread at this point. As I understood it, SKYNET was primarily in charge of the nuclear stockpile and ballistic defense systems. I always thought that SKYNET came online and wiped out 3 billion people with nukes, and only then turned to the design and use of Terminators and HKs to hunt down the survivors. I never thought that SKYNET had Terminators at this point, so I never thought that SKYNET would have had control of these human designed prototypes. I had no problem with the way this scene played.
(Dumb)- how does SKYNET know that the T-X is working for it? it hasn't created the T-X yet, it doesn't know what the killer machine is doing in its installation other than killing people that it wants to have killed, so why doesn't SKYNET turn its defenses on the base personnel and the T-X as well. Logically it would. I mean, what else is SKYNET going to do, ask the T-X what it is doing and believe the T-X when it says that over three decades in the future, that SKYNET invents time travel and sends the T-X back in time to make sure that it goes sentient and gains control? That makes absolutely no sense at all.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
(Dumb)- why are the hallways at SKYNET central command big enough to let wide tracked killing machines roam freely up and down them?
Considering the type of facility they're in, they're probably that big to allow wide tracked killing machines roam freely up and down them. They are building them there, after all. It ony stands to reason that they might eventually want to take them out of the lab for demonstrations or field testing. Besides, I've worked in lots of places with halls that big, mostly hospitals which would allow multiple gurneys to pass by each other in crowded hallways in case of emergencies. Big hallways are great for pushing carts and racks of computer equipment around, which is something they would probably do a lot in a place that specializes in developing cutting edge military computer systems.
Just because you hate the movie, you can't start seeing flaws everywhere. That lessens you as a reviewer. Besides the unrealistic number of glass walls, there's nothing too out of the ordinary about these sets. You're just lashing out. I think someone needs a hug.
(Dumb)- why would you use high explosive rockets around delicate computer equipment in order to defend yourself? Shooting up the entire command center seemed kind of dumb… especially from SKYNET's perspective. it was simply destroying large parts of its own body in an attempt to get rid of key personnel and intruders. The next time you have a gnat or ant crawling on your arm, get your friend to whack it with a baseball bat, as hard as he can. Then you will learn about the concept I'm trying to teach you here.
You ever slap a gnat or ant crawling on your arm? Stings doesn't it? But it's worth it because you made the kill. That's all this destruction would have meant to SKYNET. At this point SKYNET was an online distributed file system. The loss of a few dozen computers would mean nothing at all, just a temporary sting in order to get rid of some bothersome pests. The loss would be more than worth it to rid itself of it's most dangerous enemy.
(Dumb)- If the T-X is being absorbed into the particle accelerator, how does it find the strength to use its saw to free itself? If it can use its saw with such ease, why didn't it do it to begin with?
HOLY FUCK, I am tired of writing this article. I am tired of examining this movie. Chris, you win. You have beaten me. This is too god damn much. I am known for long articles, my friend, but this is fucking INSANE. So you win. Just take it. Take your victory from my cold, dead hand. My defense grid is smashed. Christ in Heaven, I can't fucking take this anymore. I feel like my brain is starting to bleed. I quit. I feel like any of my readers who made it this far deserve something special for their efforts. So let's have a contest.
This paragraph is for a very special reader named Wild Bill. Wild Bill is a she, and she told me she reads my articles, but I don't believe she is really going to read all of this, because she is not insane. But she is an insomniac, and has no excuse for not finishing an article with so much sleepless free time on her hands, so I'm going to test her. I'm going to see if she really reads my stuff, or was just feeding me a line. I'm going to do this by writing a little bit about her and embarrass her and make her blush. So let's talk about her butt. I'll start with telling you, dear Internet, that her sexy ass is round and firm like a juicy, ripe Georgia peach. I kinda want to bite it. Not really hard, you know, just little nibbles. It's the kind of ass you can see is tactilely perfect, even through thick, baggy pants. From across the street. In a grainy, blurry, black and white photograph. The rest of her is pretty spectacular, too, but OH MY GOD, THAT ASS. It's the kind of ass a man would be willing to throw another human being into a volcano over. And not just any human being, mind you, I'm talking about one of the really good ones. It's a wonderful, wonderful ass, is what I'm trying to say.
You know what I'm sayin'? That's all I'm sayin'.
So here's the contest: I want you, Constant Readers, to say things about her ass. Nice things. Dirty things. Raunchy things. Things that will force you to beg forgivess from the god of your choice. Tell us how magnificent her ass is and what you would do with it. Or to it. Whatever, I'm not picky. Be as vague or detailed as you like. This contest will only end when she emails, IMs, or posts here the following message to me: "I'LL BE BACK." Until that's done, the ass parade shall continue. The person who posts my favorite ass comment, drawing, photo, whatever (including her, if she wishes to participate) wins a big ass prize. See what I did there? Extra points will be awarded for girls who post about another girl's fine ass; Chris likes a little girl on girl action now and again.
So there you have it. The contest is on, and I'm out. I'm gonna let Chris Shields close this article. He has a few more things to say about Terminator 3. I wonder if they're gonna be good or bad? It's a mystery that can only be solved through the magic of reading!
Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high!
(Dumb)- if being frozen severely damaged the T1000 in T2, then why doesn’t being pulled apart on an atomic level by intense magnetic fields damage the T-X in T3? Or better yet, why is the T3 pulled apart at all by the particle accelerator? The AK isn’t pulled apart when John loses it… You would think that the T-X would simply be stuck to the accelerator array until the cycle was complete and the accelerator powered back down.
(Dumb)- How does the T-X know Connor is headed to Crystal Peak?
(Dumb)- How does the T850 know where the T-X is going? Neither of the vehicles which the two Terminators procure have radar to track Connor. it could guess that the T-X was following Connor and Brewster, but it couldn't be sure. (Dumb)- How the T850 uses its good programming to overcome the nano virus attack by the T-X, an attack that nothing else has been able to fend off. Also, if shutting down its power defeats the nano infection, then the cops could have just turned off their police cars and stopped the nano infection there as well. Like I have said before, this nano-magic was just a really bad idea that was never explained and was used to the point of being silly and absurd. (Dumb)- If the T850 is powered by two hydrogen fuel cells, and it lost one in the desert, why does it continue to operate when it removes its last power cell for use in the destruction of the T-X? (Dumb)- where did the T850 hide its extra arm? If it is holding up the blast door with one arm, and grabs hold of the crawling T-X with the other arm, where does it find a free arm to open its chest, grab its last power cell, grab the T-X, pull it back, shove the power cell in its mouth and clamp down and hold it there? If it used only two arms, wouldn't the blast door have descended and crushed them both? (Dumb)- why do the most advanced prototype Terminators always make evil faces and scream like whipped banshees when they are finally beaten. They go from surgical precision to the demeanor of a wolf being dragged off by its hind leg to an ax killing. You didn’t see the T800 act like that in the first movie when it was about to be pressed flat. The T1000 in T2 was a drama queen, splashing around in the molten steel like a 2 year old in a kiddy pool. The T-X wasn't any better, snarling and salivating like a feral animal. I just don't get it. The T800 in the first movie went out the best, it continued to try to kill Sarah Connor even when it was being crushed flat, the advanced Terminators simply howl and whine and scream and throw temper-tantrums when they are defeated. Hardly what I would expect from such advanced machinery.
(Dumb)- if the Crystal Peaks fallout shelter has computer equipment in it that is thirty years old, what do you think the food stocks are like? it would stand to reason that the command, control, and communication systems would be modern, and the food supplies and equipment well stocked, but Crystal Peaks has all the look of an abandoned fallout shelter from the Cold War era. I hope Connor remembered to pack a sandwich. it looks like it’s going to be a long, hungry nuclear winter for him and Kate. (Dumb)- If the T850 self terminates and destroys the T-X, then at the end, why does the light in its skull slowly go out apparently hours after the nuclear war? Those must be some power reserves! (Dumb)- the soundtrack was abysmal, it carried no feeling, no emotion, and was less exciting than elevator music. You probably could have removed the soundtrack completely from the movie and not missed it at all. (Dumbest)- SKYNET isn’t a specific computer or AI, it’s apparently a super computer virus and it’s on every single computer in the world and spreading through the internet! See! Downloading pirated MP3s will eventually destroy the world. A super computer virus. Huh? Well, that bit of retarded tasting brain candy just invalidated the first two movies, now didn’t it? Overall, T3 was a very big disappointment and it did an incredible amount of overall damage to the franchise as well as the story. If you took Olivier Gruner and put him in the movie in place of Arnold Schwarzenegger, took out the “Terminator 3” from the title and substituted “Nemesis 6” instead, it would have been a much better movie. The effects were good, the stunts were incredible, but the story was flatter than my first girlfriend's chest back in junior high. As it was, expect to see Terminator 4 in the near future (and probably T5 and on and on through T10 until we turn the franchise into some kind of sick imitation of the Jason and Freddy movies, only with a good cyborg who continues to time travel and help out John Connor in the past, time and time again). Maybe we'll even get a "Terminator vs. Predator" or "Terminator vs. Jason" movie. After T3, I shudder to think where the franchise is headed because it is clear that Cameron's original vision is not only dead, it's been sodomized repeatedly for the sake of profit. Hopefully, the producers will have learned a hard lesson on this movie, and will give the Terminator fans what we had hoped T3 would have been; future battle drama. T3 should have been the story of John Connor’s future rise to commander of the Resistance and his fight against SKYNET with lots of machine smashing action. it should have ended with him sending back Kyle Reese and then the second, reprogrammed Terminator. That would have been a third movie that would have tied all three together and made a nice trilogy, but no… they had to rewrite T2 and use a sixth grader to do it. You could seriously see the total lack of James Cameron in this movie. I foresee T4 being Arnold again as yet another Resistance programmed Terminator sent to protect an even older John Connor from yet another super advanced prototype Terminator just developed by SKYNET. Hopefully this new advanced prototype Terminator will be able to morph into a more believable plot / story and save the franchise. Listen, folks, here's a bit of advice; crack does not smoke itself. If T4 is half the stinker T3 was, that will at least be a step in the right direction. My suggestion is, if you liked THE TERMINATOR and TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY, and enjoyed the novels, if you care anything about the franchise, then by all means, DO NOT SEE T3. Ever. It will simply ruin the other two movies for you. Totally.
May 14th, 2010 at 3:05 pm
Holy Christ that was a long frikkin article.
hmmm….give me a year and I’ll have a rebuttle to some of these arguments.
Wild Bill, I don’t know who you are, but apparantly your ass is so fine I’d like to wear it as a hat.
May 14th, 2010 at 11:59 pm
HIDDEN!
Artist: Guns N’ Roses
Album: Use Your Illusion II, 1991
HIDDEN!
May 15th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
So she used her tongue to read DNA. We’ve already established that she’s got that endoskeleton so that means that at least some of her sensors aren’t fluid-metal based. Maybe the tongue (when not coated in fluid-metal for disguise) is a genetic defice?
John didn’t know at that point in his life where his mother was buried, but Kate could have found out, or John found out and told her, and she sent the information back with the terminator.
Okay, so yeah, movies these days are pretty f’n stupid when it comes to their portrayal of computers. That scene in Jurasic Park where the little girl looks at some 3D VRML bullshit and says, “Oh, this is a Unix system – I know this!” has made me want to tear out my eyeballs for years now. Hollywood goes for visual stunts because that’s what they do, and they get away with breaking the rules of computers because, believe it or not, somewhere someone out there doesn’t realize that there’s no way in hell a computer can do the things they’re portraying. Hopefully that’ll end one day when computers are as ubiquitous as all of the other technology in our lives. I mean, it’s not like they’re creating fairy-tales with established and well-understood technologies, like making a car drive by itself… Oh. Wait.
Speaking of which, yeah, I did the Google hunt and found lots of links to the automatic parking cars which show that, yeah, some cars can control their steering before I read your following paragraph which shows that you already conceded that point. However, cars having self-control doesn’t bother me as much as a car being able to see what’s in front of it and react accordingly.
Oh, and by the way, you, sir, are studying what is known in the field as a callipygian, she being someone who is callipygous. Love that word, and from it, we can have a field day with Latin. As a fine purveyor of callipygians, would that not, therefore, make you a callipygiologist. I want a degree in the field of callipygiology. Get me a compass and a protractor, let’s diagram that posterior, see if we can prove that it is a mathematical thing of beauty, following the Golden Ratio and peppered with Fibonacci sequence. I dare say that if we can show that a doubled Fibonacci Spiral would make an outstanding model for the perfect booty and if your testimony is to be trusted then surely she could be our case study. We could win the Nobel Peace Prize in Callipgiology.
Or the Nobel Piece’o'dat’ass Prize
May 16th, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Quentin, none of your arguments make any sense. The mimetic poly-alloy tongue was shown on screen doing the analysis, and there is no endoskeletal tongue, as you can see in the picture of the endoskeleton’s skull. It has its mouth wide open. No tongue.
How could Kate or John find the location of Sarah’s coffin? They were sealed away in Crystal Peak when SKYNET nuked the planet. They had no idea where her coffin was prior to seeing it, and after being shown by the Terminator, would have no reason to seek that information out. It makes no sense that they would seek an outside source to confirm what they already knew to be true.
The cars did not see what was in front of them. That would indicate autonomous behavior. The movie makes it very clear that the T-X was guiding these vehicles by remote control.
Your logic chip has obviously been compromised. Report immediately to the nearest data terminal for reprogramming.
May 16th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
In regards to the picture, there’s a Michael Bay lens flare right over the mouth – the tongue could be curled back or compressed down. All I’m saying is that it’s possible through some Lucasian retrofitting that the sensors for reading DNA are where a tongue would be.
As far as Sarah’s coffin, I have no idea. As a matter of fact, my answer to this and the point about cars boil down essentially to this answer: I’ve seen T3 once, and that was many years ago on a computer screen during downtimes while fixing computers.
That said, the point I made about cars wasn’t so much a counter-argument at all, but more of a “oh yeah, and things like this bug me too” tangent.
May 17th, 2010 at 8:08 am
I think everyone is so focused on the tongue sensor they are forgetting the larger issue. Why the FUCK did it need to use it in the first place? I cannot believe for one instance this robot who was sent back in time to kill Kate Brewster could ever mistake that whiney old cat lady for her. It had a fucking sample of her DNA on record but not a single image of her past or present?
On a side note, this looks AMAZING:
http://www.rushbeyondthelightedstage.com/
May 17th, 2010 at 8:11 am
dang nabbit. Chris, check the filter please. aparrently my last comment was blocked.
May 17th, 2010 at 8:16 am
As for the coffin issue, it is established that Sarah Conner had friends, who planted all those weapons in accordance with her will in the coffin. One could draw the theoritical conclusion that she was able to convince others of the impending disaster, or that at least some of her friends probably survived judgement day and were able to hook up with the resistance.
Weak I know, but not entirely implausible.
May 17th, 2010 at 8:26 am
“Michael Bay lens flare” – this makes me happy
May 17th, 2010 at 8:43 am
According to Dark Horizongs (http://www.darkhorizons.com/news/17192):
Firstly, Alan Tudyk in Transformers? Win.
Second, and most important: “Unless you have those relationships, then the movie doesn’t matter. Then it’s just a bunch of robots fighting each other.” Uhm, yeah, asshole, that’s Transformers, that’s kinda the point. I want to see car/jet/boombox-based robots beating the shit out of each other – not spastic things the look like they were made out of metal shards playing sidekick to four or five humans.
May 17th, 2010 at 8:50 am
“(Dumb)- If the T-X is being absorbed into the particle accelerator, how does it find the strength to use its saw to free itself? If it can use its saw with such ease, why didn’t it do it to begin with?”
Rebuttle: She is not being sucked into the particle accelerator, her exoskeleton is being pulled off by its magnetic field. The accelerator cannot absorb “outside” particles. It is sealed environment designed to accelerate A particle to near light speeds. If it could randomly suck in particles I imagine that would be “bad”.
As for the saw blade apparatus, maybe it was composed of a substance/alloy not susceptible to magnetism.
May 17th, 2010 at 9:03 am
Shia LeBeouf may have redeemed himself (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/movies/2010/05/shia-labeouf-wall-street-2-indiana-jones-steven-spielberg.html):
The whole article is actually pretty interesting – at the very least, he’s been pulled up a few notches from the bottom of his geek-cred-hellhole.
May 19th, 2010 at 7:27 am
http://scifiwire.com/2010/05/ghostbusters-invade-nyonl.php
May 20th, 2010 at 9:55 am
What’s my incentive to see this movie now?
http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=500755&affid=100055
Gemma Arterton Could Replace Megan Fox in ‘Transformers 3′
May 19, 2010, 8:48 PM EST
By Jeff Sneider
TheWrap.com
TheWrap has learned that “Prince of Persia” star Gemma Arterton is the front-runner to replace Megan Fox in “Transformers 3.”
An individual close to the casting process says the actress has already had discussions with Bay about the coveted role. Other possible replacements for Fox include models Bar Rafaeli, Miranda Kerr and Brooklyn Decker.
Paramount has confirmed to TheWrap that the studio decided against picking up Fox’s option for the sequel, and an individual close to the production explained that as screenwriter Ehren Kruger was developing the screenplay with director Michael Bay, it made sense for star Shia LaBeouf to have a new love interest. Ouch!
Rafaeli and Kerr were both brought in to the project’s casting office to read for “Transformers 3,” while Decker has the most substantial acting career of the three models.
Decker has appeared on “Chuck,” “Ugly Betty” and USA’s “Royal Pains,” and is currently filming the comedy “Just Go With It” with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston. She was also on the cover of this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, and is married to American tennis star Andy Roddick.
Rafaeli is an Israeli model who is currently dating Leonardo DiCaprio and stars in Haim Bouzaglo’s indie psychological thriller “Session,” which is in post-production.
Kerr is an Australian model whose acting experience seems to be limited to an episode of the CBS sitcom “How I Met Your Mother” in which she played herself. She’s been one of the Victoria’s Secret Angels since mid-2007.
But Arterton remains the possibilty who makes the most sense, as she plays Jake Gyllenhaal’s love interest in “Prince of Persia” and is no stranger to Hollywood blockbusters, having also starred in “Clash of the Titans” and “Quantum of Solace.” Arterton, who is the same age as both LaBeouf and Fox, is currently at Cannes with the Stephen Frears comedy “Tamara Drewe.”
All of these beauties seem to be out of LaBeouf’s league, but I guess having a car that turns into a giant robot helps with the ladies.
Fox previously started a PR nightmare by comparing Bay to Hitler and continued to make waves by publicly dissing the director, even after he wrote a letter welcoming her return to the franchise. It couldn’t have helped that Fox’s “Jennifer’s Body” was eaten alive at the box office and her upcoming summer movie, “Jonah Hex,” has horrible buzz.
Bay will begin casting immediately for the new female lead.
Deadline first broke the news of Fox’s departure
May 21st, 2010 at 8:10 am
Now she’s saying she quit. You gotta love hollywood.
May 27th, 2010 at 8:27 am
http://scifiwire.com/2010/05/killer-new-jonah-hex-trailer-blows-us-away.php
It doesn’t blow me away, but it certainly doesn’t look horrible.
May 27th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Yeah, I saw the full trailer for the first time last night. I was notably underwhelmed.
May 27th, 2010 at 12:33 pm
May 28th, 2010 at 5:46 am
Frank Frazetta
February 9, 1928 – May 10, 2010
May 28th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
SWEET BALLS OF THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, THIS IS AMAZING!!
Click the pic for the article and video. And I thought my homemade proton pack was pretty cool. Now I feel like a chump.
June 1st, 2010 at 11:24 am
fascinating…..
http://scifiwire.com/2010/06/jonathan-frakes-wants-to.php
June 2nd, 2010 at 12:01 pm
No. No, no, no. No, no, no NO NO NO NONONO NOOOOO!!!
June 3rd, 2010 at 6:09 am
This is the girl “replacing” Megan Fox in Transformers 3? Are you fucking serious? That’s like replacing Optimus Prime with Wheelie. Fuck you, Michael Bay. Fuck you right in the ass.
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
June 3rd, 2010 at 6:21 am
Click the pic for full size.
June 3rd, 2010 at 8:04 am
what the hell is wrong with that girl’s face? looks like she got smacked with a shovel.
June 3rd, 2010 at 8:10 am
more pics of the transformers chick. There’s just something about her face that I find unsettling…
http://scifiwire.com/2010/06/gallery-xx-pictures-of-me.php
June 3rd, 2010 at 8:11 am
Could be interesting…
http://scifiwire.com/2010/06/8-things-we-know-about-the-new-thundercats-tv-show.php
June 3rd, 2010 at 8:34 am
That chick is in every way inferior to my Megan. Or Meg, as she* lets me call her.
* – “she” refers to the picture of her that I sleep with on my pillow, and sometimes talk to in the lonely darkness when the night voices tell me scary bad things.
June 3rd, 2010 at 11:08 pm
WTF?
June 4th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Let me describe my work situation to all of my Loyal Readers out there in Internetland. I am sitting at a desk right now with a replacement PC. My old PC was slick, small, state of the art when it was purchased. It was a good machine. Not the best due to age, but damned servicable. I had no complaints. Then a virus hit us, and it had to be taken away.
[pic coming soon]
This is my replacement. Do you see that shit? Yeah, that’s a built in 3.5″ floppy above that sweet Pentium 4 sticker. That’s the kind of hardware I’m reduced to. So I can’t watch videos here at work. Because no modern versions of Flash are installed on this PC. I’m not even sure they would run if they were installed. But I see that your video has the word “betamax” embedded in it several times, so I’m damned curious.
June 7th, 2010 at 8:44 am
Finally getting caught up on my news from Dark Horizons and saw this:
http://www.darkhorizons.com/news/17281
Hell. Yes.
June 8th, 2010 at 9:57 am
TRUE gamers make time to play.
But I guess this is a pretty good idea too:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/06/08/new.dungeons.dragons/index.html?hpt=Sbin
Marietta, Georgia (CNN) — “Uh oh,” grunts Karr Doth, the half-orc ranger, as he unsheathes his swords. “We’ve got company!”
The party peers into the darkness as the ranger charges toward our unseen foe. Suddenly, creatures of bone and rotting flesh rush towards us — catching nearly all unaware while in the distance, a skeletal figure bursts into flames and advances towards the group.
Yes. We are playing Dungeons & Dragons — but it’s a different version that the makers hope will lure back old players and bring in new ones.
First published in 1974, Dungeons & Dragons is described on the covers of the original rule books as a “Fantastic medieval war games campaigns playable with paper and pencil and miniature figures.”
In reality, it is a way for gamers to spend hours and days with friends in a role-playing game that, more often than not, encompasses a lot of time in preparation and play.
Many of those early gamers were younger with plenty of spare time to devote to building and exploring fantasy worlds populated by goblins, elves and the occasional dragon. Even as the game evolved into Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, the fan base changed as players grew older and were replaced by younger players eager to go adventuring.
Wizards of the Coast, the current publishers of D&D, recognized that some of the 24 million people who used to play the game left, not because they didn’t want to play, but because their lifestyles changed and they didn’t have the time anymore — so they have created a new rules system to address those concerns and bring back their former fans.
The new “D&D Encounters” provides all the materials needed to run a D&D game, but in a relatively short period of time. The goal, said brand director Liz Schuh, is to get those former gamers rolling the dice again.
“We wanted to try and create experiences to fit in their current time frames,” Schuh said. “It is also an opportunity to learn the new rules system.”
“Encounters” has premade characters and a premade adventure provided to the game’s referee and storyteller, the Dungeon Master. Maps, tokens, game pieces and player aids, such as bonus cards, are all included.
The adventure is spread out over 12 weeks, but it only takes about two hours to play each week’s encounter. Mark Nolan, a Dungeon Master for the “Encounters” game at Ravens Nest store in Marietta, Georgia, said the new version is simple and timely.
“It is very easy to DM. They give you everything,” Nolan said. “This is really good for people to drop in and play.”
Part of the appeal for “Encounters” was to give the busy gamer the chance to play D&D once a week as their schedules allow. In the past, D&D games could take months, even years, and players generally had to attend every session so that the story flow wasn’t interrupted. With “Encounters,” players can come and go as they choose and new players can easily be integrated into the story continuity.
During the 11th session in the first “season,” called “Under Mountain,” at the Ravens Nest game two weeks ago, there were two players who had been there since the first session, two that came in during the middle sessions, and three that were there for the first time. The game is structured so that anyone can join up with little or no preparation — just a willingness to roll dice and have fun.
Wizards of the Coast wants to remind players that using an active imagination can be very satisfying compared to simply being fed information from a computer screen. “Encounters” showcases the best part of a paper-and-pencil role-playing game: interactions with others and imagining a rich, wonderful world in your mind that you can escape into for even a short time.
They hope it is nostalgic fun for a bunch of old-time gamers wanting to relive the thrilling but time-intensive games they used to play.
“We realize that our older players probably don’t live near their old group and have a hard time finding a D&D game,” Arron Goolsbey, director of Wizards of the Coast’s Organized Play Programs said. “We want to connect gamers together in a way that fits their lifestyle and time challenges these days.”
It seems to be working. At a recent “Encounters” game at Tower Games store in Lawrenceville, Georgia, the party was made up of three guys who had played in their youth and were intrigued about getting back into the game in a way that didn’t interfere with family or work. Store owner Andrew Phillips said the response has been overwhelming.
“There are a lot of people wanting to play,” Phillips said. “We even have some father/son and father/daughter players who are coming in.”
The DM, who goes by “Augie,” has a son, Alex, who plays “Encounters” and a father and son team that also plays in his game. He said it is good to see the kids learning the game and the new program makes it easy.
The new version (Fourth Edition Rules) is about teamwork, said Augie, who said he has been playing D&D since 1979.
“I can whip up an Encounter in no time and players can be playing in about five minutes. In some ways, it plays out like a board game.”
The new rules are to make the game faster and easier to run, said Schuh. She said it is also very flexible, so that players can use the premade characters or make up one of their own.
“We wanted to give them enough of a sandbox to play in,” she said. “DMs and players can do whatever they want.”
The new rules also enable people who know nothing about the new rules — or maybe nothing about D&D at all — to play and learn from D&D veteran adventurers.
At a recent “Encounter” session Nolan explained the new powers and effects to new players offered tips on game strategy.
“Combat is more fun and more dynamic,” Nolan said as he directed a flaming skeleton to throw fireballs at the party. The excitement and gasps around the table is proof that players are quickly getting emotionally involved in the game.
And they’re just getting started.
While they didn’t have hard numbers, Schuh and Goolsbey said they have had reports of tens of thousands of gamers around the world participating in “Encounters.” And Wizards has made it easy to find a game near you.
Their website provides store locacations running the program, a character generator if you want to create your own, reviews of previous encounters so you can catch up on the story and even gaming podcasts from webcomic giant Penny Arcade and the writers of the Cartoon Network show “Robot Chicken.”
In an attempt to appeal to tech-savvy players, the game manufacturer offers bonuses via its Twitter account and an online subscription service to offer information on adventure building, character upgrades and more.
With a new season beginning on June 9 — the “Dark Sun” adventures — they have two words for anyone who is interested in D&D — just go.
“You’ll be handed a character and you’ll get help,” Schuh said. “There is a palpable, emotional response to playing the game with friends. Even new friends.
June 9th, 2010 at 6:57 am
While the last film sucked big hairy balls, I’m still willing to give the franchise another chance. 3 out of 4 isn’t a horrible record.
http://scifiwire.com/2010/06/indy-5-plot-leaks-get-rea.php
Were you disappointed in the last Indiana Jones film, The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? According to the major developments we learned today from Stuff magazine, you won’t be disappointed with the next Indiana Jones film—which will really be the last.
According to an inside source, Harrison Ford has agreed to come back as the archaeologist and adventurer one more time, and will be given an “emotional and exciting” sendoff: “Harrison is on stand-by for filming next year. This looks like … an emotional and exciting conclusion to the franchise, with Indy facing his biggest challenge yet.”
Indiana Jones 5 will supposedly begin shooting next year, and much of the plot line will revolve around the Bermuda Triangle.
“George [Lucas] and Steven [Spielberg] have been working on a script and it’s almost there,” the source said.
Shia LaBeouf, who played Indiana’s son Mutt Williams, will also appear in the new installment.
“Shia LaBeouf has a central role again as Indy’s son, but this will be a blockbuster made in the old-fashioned way rather than the CGI efforts of the last movie,” according the source.
Are your ready to forgive Indiana Jones 4 and return for Indy 5?
June 9th, 2010 at 7:07 am
If any of this is true, sign me up for the next Mortal Kombat movie.
http://scifiwire.com/2010/06/live-action-ultra-gory-mo.php
June 9th, 2010 at 7:10 am
More 80′s rehash woo hoo!
http://scifiwire.com/2010/06/watch-out-transformersvoltron-is-back.php
Voltron coming back as a Next Generation style TV show
So, we’ve got Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles coming back. Also Thundercats. Transformers and G.I. Joe are here. That’s everything, right? No more ’80s cartoons and toy lines to bring back? Oh, wait, here’s one more.
Voltron is coming back as a revamped animated series. This time it will air on Nicktoons, and they’re calling it Voltron Force. World Event Productions and Classic Media are developing this, with Kickstart Productions, makers of Wolverine and the X-Men, co-producing.
Voltron Force sure sounds like a hip, modern revamp of the old Voltron: Defender of the Universe, but Variety reports that the new series will actually stay faithful to the original. Voltron was a giant robot who formed when five individual robot lions joined together. Because sometimes a team of five individual robot lions just isn’t enough to get the job done.
Nicktoons will air 26 half-hour shows starting next year. Mattel will produce a new toy line to go along with it, so a new crop of kids and buy all the lions that make up Voltron. World Event Productions president Ted Koplar told Variety it’s really all about the toys.
“What paramount is getting the toys right,” Koplar said. “They’re pretty involved toys that have to transform and fit together. It’s an exciting way to introduce the brand to a generation that isn’t familiar with Voltron.”
Well, cool toys came with a cool cartoon in 1984, so they can do it again. World Event Productions and Classic Media were going to try a big-screen movie, but they’ve gone with the animated series instead
June 9th, 2010 at 7:11 am
SWEET!
http://scifiwire.com/2010/06/new-predator-poster-gives.php
Click for full size.
June 9th, 2010 at 10:35 am
Three out of four isn’t a horrible record, true, but this article is full of the same bullshit promises we got about Crystal Skull.
Shia LaBeouf sucked as Indiana Jones’s son. It wasn’t his acting that was the issue, it was that there was no chemistry with he and Harrison Ford. Not even bad chemistry. It was an emotional dead zone.
“this will be a blockbuster made in the old-fashioned way rather than the CGI efforts of the last movie” – What the fuck ever. That’s exactly what was promised about Crystal Skull, and it was nothing but CGI.
I don’t trust this.
June 9th, 2010 at 11:46 am
Wow. Someone is still bitter
June 11th, 2010 at 9:18 am
Just heard the “new” Stones song “Plundered My Soul.” Holy fucking shit! It is astounding that they would hold this song back for 38 fucking years. It’s goddamned amazing.
June 11th, 2010 at 9:47 am
Rush just release two songs off their upcoming album. Love ‘em! The lyrics are ok but the music is fantastic.
June 11th, 2010 at 10:44 am
I need to hear those new Rush tracks.
For the Stones fans out there, a bootleg of another unreleased track, “Good Time Women,” has been circulating since the Sticky Fingers sessions. The new rerelease has a completed, album quality mix of the song. It sounds so fucking good. I’ve been able to get my hands on some very high quality bootlegs, but nothing like this. This is the real deal.
June 11th, 2010 at 12:55 pm
Mouser, if you’re listening and in case you didn’t already know, “Good Time Women” is the early prototype version of “Tumbling Dice.” Mostly the same music and structure, completely different lyrics. Well worth your time, sir.
June 11th, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Still can’t figure out how I feel about Looney Tunes in 3D. I go back and forth. I do love the idea of Looney Tunes shorts being played before movies again. That’s pretty fantastic. But I’ve been burned by so many reboots and reimaginings lately And a new Looney Tunes series? Sounds great to me. All in all, I’d say I’m cautiously curious to see how well the WB toons translate to CG. WB has a pretty great track record with the writing and production of their animation, so I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.
June 14th, 2010 at 7:21 am
Attended a showing of A-Team this weekend. I liked it….a lot actually. So did Mandy. In fact as soon as we walked out of the theater she said “this one is ownable on DVD”. I must agree.
Sure the action sequences are over-the-top and the way certain situations get resolved make you want to believe in the divine forces of karma; but it’s grounded by decent dialogue devoid of cliche one-liners, characters which are immediately likable, and several genuinely funny moments.
In short, it’s a fun, tongue-in-cheek action flick that know exactly what it is and doesn’t try to be anything else. That’s why is works. I think this film is a great spiritual successor to the TV show. Solid B+.
June 14th, 2010 at 11:35 am
Nice! I want to check it out.
June 15th, 2010 at 7:31 am
“Big Butter Jesus” got incinerated last night. IRONY. Wonder what the religious whack jobs will say about it.
http://www.wcpo.com/dpp/news/region_north_cincinnati/monroe/king-of-kings-statue-destroyed-by-fire
June 15th, 2010 at 7:34 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAAj1OiH-WA
June 16th, 2010 at 6:42 am
On behalf of all of us here, I want to send out my deepest condolences to Mrs. X and her family. Mrs. X lost her dad yesterday. He was a really great guy with whom I’ve had the pleasure of sharing many conversations over many cigars and glasses of bourbon. He will be missed; the Kentucky Derby won’t be the same without him.
June 17th, 2010 at 5:10 am
June 17th, 2010 at 5:10 am
June 21st, 2010 at 10:31 am
Gotta agree with DanM, The A-Team was really enjoyable.
June 22nd, 2010 at 9:24 am
No. Fucking. Way…
No one loves The Blues Brothers more than I do. It’s about 75% of the reason I learned to sing and play guitar. But I’m getting the a real sense that no one involved here, not the Vatican nor the people who wrote this article, have ever really watched The Blues Brothers.
There was no “attempt to exact revenge on an ex-girlfriend.” Jake’s ex-fiance was trying to kill the Blues brothers throughout the movie, not the other way around. For the majority of the film, they didn’t even know it was her. And Elwood did not make a “sanctimonious decision” to renounce anything. He was being fired on by police while attempting to evade arrest, and was fleeing for his life. There was no time to stop and get laid. The only decision he made was to not be caught and go to prison. As a matter of fact, Jake was the more “sanctimonious” of the two. He was the one who had to convince Elwood that God was involved at all. And Twiggy? Not all that fascinating. She just had great tits.
Watch it again, people. It’s a fucking classic and it deserves more attention than you gave it.
Thanks to Q for bringing this to my attention.
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:26 am
Woo-hoo, it’s Printer Error Tuesday!!
June 22nd, 2010 at 1:53 pm
June 29th, 2010 at 7:19 am
… again!
June 29th, 2010 at 12:32 pm
I sooo hope they release this here in America. I wouldn’t even care if it was poorly dubbed. This was THE very first show I ever got hooked on as a kid.
http://scifiwire.com/2010/06/new-space-battleship-yamato-trailer-made-of-epic-space-opera-win.php
June 30th, 2010 at 5:54 am
I’ll be honest, I never thought the Yamato would look good in CGI, but that’s really, really pretty. I might be willing to check this out myself.
June 30th, 2010 at 1:54 pm
Oh to be obnoxiously wealthy…
http://scifiwire.com/2010/06/for-35000-you-can-buy-a-s.php
July 1st, 2010 at 7:15 am
New Wonder Woman costume = FAIL
http://scifiwire.com/2010/06/dc-reveals-wonder-womans.php
July 1st, 2010 at 1:27 pm
Fucking LAME. DC is really starting to go downhill. If you wanna mix things up, why not just give her the white jumpsuit back? At least that was a ballsy move. This is just another big-titted chick in black. Hey, look, everybody, it’s every female character ever fucking published by Marvel and Image. Yipee. How groundbreaking.
I miss you, Jenette Kahn. Please come back. They’re fuckin’ up your world, and I’m not powerful enough to stop them on my own.
And do I see shoulder pads? Fucking shoulder pads?? Really??
July 1st, 2010 at 3:42 pm
You didn’t hear? Studies have shown wearing shoulder pads improves a person’s ability to intimidate opponents during a confrontation by up to 50%. In the case of women, results as high as 70% have been recorded.
July 2nd, 2010 at 8:33 am
Yeah, if there’s one person in the world who needs shoulder pads, it’s Wonder Woman. She can fly, she’s stronger than most superheroes the DC universe, and she has skin harder than steel. Those shoulderpads should come in real handy. I bet they’ll make all the difference in the world.
July 6th, 2010 at 11:49 am
why can’t we make movies like this?
http://scifiwire.com/2010/07/alien-vs-ninja-trailer-ou.php
July 8th, 2010 at 8:46 am
“It was like Shawshank Redemption directed by Michael Bay” GENIUS.
http://scifiwire.com/2010/07/twilight-for-guys-the-amu.php
July 15th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
I sincerely hope this is not the final product:
http://blastr.com/2010/07/first-look-at-ryan-reynol.php
July 15th, 2010 at 3:22 pm
uh……what? People actually think this looks good?
http://blastr.com/2010/07/sharktopu.php
July 20th, 2010 at 5:22 am
Are those muscles? Why does Green Lantern have no skin?
July 20th, 2010 at 6:55 am
This pic does not bode well for the movie. Looking at it, the first thing that pops inside my head is “all spectacle….no story”. We should be drawn to the hero, not the costume.
July 20th, 2010 at 10:29 am
It’s Green Lantern, so I’ll give it a shot no matter how bad it looks. But Ryan Reynolds only plays one role, and that’s the cocky, quick witted, smart ass. It’s a role better suited to Guy Gardner than Hal Jordan. It usually gets old pretty quick, so I’m thinking that a whole movieful of Ryan Reynolds flying around amusing himself might not be as wonderful a viewing experience as I’m hoping for.
Then again, I’ve been in a bad mood for a couple of days, so what the hell do I know? Could be awesome. Too soon to tell.
July 21st, 2010 at 8:36 am
Oh, I’ll still see it. Movies based on comics are a weakness of mine as evidenced by the fact I own Daredevil and Hulk (yes the Ang Lee version) on DVD.
July 21st, 2010 at 8:44 am
July 21st, 2010 at 12:53 pm
I could get behind this:
http://blastr.com/2010/07/will-inception-star-be-the-riddler-in-batman-3.php
“I don’t think we’ll ever stop talking about Inception, but it’s definitely time to start talking about director Christopher Nolan’s next long-awaited project—Batman 3. An inside source managed to get a peek at a studio casting grid for the film, which revealed two very intriguing facts.
According to the casting grid, which is used in the industry so production companies, agencies and others can keep track of a project’s progress and what roles may be available, the Riddler is definitely down as a character for the Dark Knight sequel. So at last we know for certain (if this source can be trusted, that is) the villain we’ll get to see battling the Batman on the big screen.
But who’ll get to bring him to life?
Turns out the same grid lists Inception star Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the role, with his status down as “interested.” Though “interested” isn’t the same as “signed,” this bit of news would support recent rumors of Gordon-Levitt in the role.
We won’t know for sure until we get some kind of official confirmation—at Comic-Con, perhaps?—but meanwhile, what do you think of the choice of villain and the actor who might play him?”
July 22nd, 2010 at 5:27 am
I dig that Optimus pic. Girl sweeping her way towards her rickety old pushcart with her ridiculously long straw broom, while in the background looms a life size statue of a robot from another planet. Gotta love Asia.
July 22nd, 2010 at 9:44 am
http://www.getthebigpicture.net/blog/2010/7/21/will-adrien-brody-get-to-play-ant-man.html
Will Adrien Brody Get To Play Ant-Man?
Wednesday, July 21, 2010 at 5:01PM
He’s been in a couple movies this summer and now Adrien Brody may be staking a claim for summer 2012. Independent reports suggest he’s raising his hand to play Hank Pym, also known as Ant-Man, for director Edgar Wright’s standalone film and possibly Marvel’s Avengers, should Joss Whedon keep the character around as expected. However, there’s one big voice of dissention, as well.
John Campea, formerly of The Movie Blog and now a writer for Script to Screen, Tweeted that he had heard Brody was the pick and Latino Review followed up with Brody’s agents at Paradigm who, in an unusual move, confirmed that they were pursuing the project, although there’s been no pen to paper moves just yet. Then Campea fired back that Wright told him none of it’s true.
The last thing we heard was Nathan Fillion might be an option, but his name (not per our suggestion though we did suggest it) has subsequently been rumored as a replacement for Edward Norton as The Hulk, in whatever iterations Marvel is pushing for that character, Avengers and beyond. But Brody may be better as Pym than Fillion, who may be better as Bruce Banner than fellow prospect Mark Ruffalo.
What we learned from Predators is that Brody can handle action pretty well. A lot of that’s in the direction, but I never got the feeling watching the movie that he was totally bogus (Exhibit A: Anthony Perkins embarrassing himself as a baseball player portraying Jimmy Piersal in Fear Strikes Out). Ant-Man, obviously, gets small. He’s also something of a whiz-kid, and I think Brody could easily perform what’s asked of the actor for this role.
But will it happen? Is Edgar Wright smoke-screening? Comic-Con knows all, so stay tuned…
July 22nd, 2010 at 9:48 am
http://www.getthebigpicture.net/blog/2010/7/20/star-trek-sequel-shooting-early-next-year.html
Star Trek’ Sequel Shooting Early Next Year?
Tuesday, July 20, 2010 at 8:47PM
It’s a good thing J.J. Abrams isn’t directing Mission: Impossible 4. He’s going to be way too busy gearing up for Star Trek 2, if Bruce Greenwood’s not a filthy, filthy liar. He’s a Canadian, so anything’s possible.
M:I 4 goes to work in a couple months, and Abrams will shoot Trek 2 in January, according to Greenwood, who spoke to Hollywood.com at the premiere of Dinner for Schmucks. While he only had so much flexibility with what he could say – that J.J. Abrams likes to lock ‘em down tight – but he did say the shoot was planned for January. Now, whether or not Captain Pike is back is another story.
When pressed on his return, Greenwood only said, “I’m hustling for it…we’ll see.” That’s the kind of thing Abrams might prefer to keep under wraps for a little while longer. It’s not as hush-hush as a villain, but the less we know, the more we want to, and Abrams is keenly aware of that.
A January start gives him oodles of time to get this ready for summer 2012. But what direction will Abrams and company take the starship Enterprise next? I’d love Khan, but only the right Khan. They had half-joked about Javier Bardem and that is, of course, who they should get. But only if they’re doing Khan, and we don’t know that to be the case yet.
July 22nd, 2010 at 9:49 am
I love webtards. Please join the mockery of a Canadian idiot on the Star Trek article linked above. Bunches of fun, eh.
July 22nd, 2010 at 9:52 am
Well there went my reason for seeing it. (Ok, I’ll still see this because it’s a comic book movie…..but I’ll do so under duress)
http://www.getthebigpicture.net/blog/2010/7/20/no-ghost-rider-sequel-for-eva-mendes.html
No ‘Ghost Rider’ Sequel for Eva Mendes
Tuesday, July 20, 2010 at 10:39AM
They’re making a second Ghost Rider, and Nicolas Cage played rope-a-dope with the producers, cashing in on Thursday. That’s the day after The Sorcerer’s Apprentice rolled a gutterball on opening day. I don’t think this sequel will do nearly as well as the first one, which was something of a surprise. So Cage made his money, at a point when that’s harder for him to do.
But someone won’t be returning, and I don’t mean me in the audience. Eva Mendes, doing press for The Other Guys, tells Superhero Hype, her flaming skull days are behind her. Asked that question specifically, Mendes commented, “No, unfortunately.”
She and Cage went on to work together in Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, so I’m guessing they have a good rapport. But in that the movie isn’t needed, it’s hard to say it needs her, since there wasn’t much to her the first time around. So, while she might look forward to working with Cage again, this is probably for the best.
I did have a good time imagining the two actors being around the same age. You remember all that stuff about growing up together, right, and Cage, who’s really only about eight years older than Mende but looks much older. Be-liev-a-ble.
The sequel is called Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, and that’s about all we know to this point. That, and Eva Mendes fans won’t need to see it. Join the club.
July 23rd, 2010 at 11:57 am
I’m SOOOOOO frikkin seeing this in IMAX 3D. I don’t care what they charge:
http://blastr.com/2010/07/new-full-length-tron-legacy-trailer-will-blow-your-mind.php
July 23rd, 2010 at 11:59 am
Nice:
http://blastr.com/2010/07/image-of-the-day-how-geor.php
July 27th, 2010 at 12:44 pm
I have to say, this is a vampire movie I wouldn’t mind seeing:
http://blastr.com/2010/07/terrifying-new-red-band-tkid-vampire.php
August 3rd, 2010 at 12:14 pm
Um…Meg…will you marry me?
http://blastr.com/2010/08/image-of-the-day-megan-fo.php
August 5th, 2010 at 7:01 am
Nerd Rage:
http://blastr.com/2010/08/totally-nsfw-nerd-rage-ra.php
August 17th, 2010 at 10:41 am
Wow, creative, funny, and a little disturbing all at once:
http://blastr.com/2010/08/bizarre-completely-nsfw-me-ray-bradbury-music-video.php
August 31st, 2010 at 8:45 am
http://blastr.com/2010/08/james-cameron-new-lovecra.php
Lovecraft film plot details leak, Cameron calls it a new Aliens
ShareTempleofGhoul’s Dejan Ognjanovic got his hands on a copy of Guillermo del Toro’s script At the Mountains of Madness, an adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s novella of the same name. Based on his first impressions, the film is feels like “a Hellboy movie without Hellboy, with a light dose of Carpenter’s The Thing. ”
He basically sums up the entire plot in a few words saying that “It is a period piece: the frame story takes place in 1939, at the very beginning of World War II, but the bulk of the film is made up of a flashback narration by the last survivor of the previous expedition to the South Pole from 1930. In this version, it is somewhat simplified into: Scientists go to Antarctica, resurrect primaeval monsters, mayhem ensues.”
Let’s also not forget that before James Cameron begins his work on Avatar 2, he’ll be producing this film, and he seems to be pretty excited about it. Here’s what he recently had to say to Wired about it:
“It’s going to be an epically scaled horror film, and we haven’t seen anything like that in a really long time — I guess since Aliens.” He went on to say that “The thing about Lovecraft is he left a lot to the imagination. He never told you what they looked like. He managed to create a sense of creeping horror without specifics.”
Based on Cameron’s description, this movie sounds pretty friggin’ awesome to us (the plot synopsis less so). There’s no doubt that Avatar was a good film, but it never reached Aliens levels. Here’s to hoping that Mountains can.
August 31st, 2010 at 12:39 pm
hmmm……
http://www.getthebigpicture.net/blog/2010/8/31/bad-idea-venkmans-son-carries-ghostbusters-3.html
Bad Idea: Venkman’s Son Carries ‘Ghostbusters 3′
“Much has been written over the past 18 months to two years about the possibilities for and the probability of a Ghostbusters III. As far as Bill Murray’s concerned, it’s a lousy idea and he really doesn’t want to have anything to do with it. Why does that matter? Because all the Ghostbusters have a contractual clause stating they must approve of whatever Columbia does with the property in the future. So there’s some convincing ahead for the studio.
But there is a story, all the same, and even though Murray has publicly bitchslapped the shoddy job writers Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnisky did with Harold Ramis’ Year One, Blood Disgusting says the writers of record for GB3 have figured out how to pair up the old team with the new charges. Unfortunately, Sigourney Weaver beat this story by several months.
She said quite a while ago that there was going to be a lot of her character’s son with Murray’s Dr. Venkman, and that’s the update we have now. “From what we’re told,” writes the site, “it will be revealed that Dana’s son Oscar is in fact Peter’s child as well. Furthermore, Oscar is now 21-ish and ready to take the reigns of his father’s ghost busting business!”
“It’s an important plot point as it gives a lot of weight to the actual story, and takes it from being ‘just another sequel’ to having a real purpose (so long as they don’t pull an Indiana Jones IV).”
It does? No offense to the Bloody Disgusting gang, but…how? How does this give any weight to the story, to say nothing of the fact that this is exactly like pulling an Indy IV? It’s not a plot point; it’s prospecting.
The hope is that the third movie does big business, and then Columbia will just bring back the new team, having been introduced already. Except nobody cares about the new guys, especially if he’s some 21-year-old. I think some people could rally behind the Apatow clan getting in the jumpsuits, but just some kid? No, I don’t think so. “
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