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The Sci-Fi Guys wish you a

24 Responses to “The Sci-Fi Guys wish you a”

  1. Chris Says:
    November 3rd, 2009 at 7:47 am

    So who’s watching V tonight? I honestly wasn’t really interested until about five minutes ago when I found out Morena Baccarin is in it. That got my attention. Then I read the ton of amazing reviews this thing is getting. Now I’m intrigued.

    They pulled a lot of ladies of sci-fi for this production, and I’m not complaining about that one bit. The cast includes Morena Baccarin (Inara Serra from Firefly & Serenity and Adria from Stargate SG-1), Elizabeth Mitchell (Dr. Juliet Burke from Lost), and Laura Vandervoort (Kara Zor-El from Smallville). As for the guys, it also stars Joel Gretsch (Tom Baldwin from The 4400 and Capt./Maj./Col. Owen Crawford from Taken) and Alan Tudyk (Hoban “Wash” Washburne from Firefly & Serenity, Sonny from I, Robot, and Alpha in Dollhouse), although Alan Tudyk is only credited as a star in the pilot and will probably not be a full time cast member.

    I’m curious to see what they’re going to do with this. They’ve already promised us a rodent eating scene and an alien/human hybrid baby scene, so I may be on the hook to give this show a chance.

  2. Chris Says:
    November 3rd, 2009 at 8:13 am

    Forgot to post this before Halloween:

    Jack-o’-Lantern

    4 ounces fresh orange juice
    2 ounces carbonated orange soda
    1 1/2 ounces orange-flavored liqueur
    1 1/4 ounces spice rum
    Garnish: lime juice, sanding sugar, orange slice, green slivered almond

    1. For garnish, dip the rim of a cocktail glass into lime juice, then into sanding sugar to coat.
    2. Mix 1/8 teaspoon green food coloring into 1 tablespoon water. Soak almonds in colored water for 1 hour. Remove, and drain on paper towels until dry.
    3. Fill a shaker halfway with ice. Add orange juice, orange soda, orange liqueur, and rum.
    4. Shake vigorously for 5 to 10 seconds. Strain into desired glass. Float orange slice with a green slivered almond stuck in the middle. Serve immediately.

  3. Chris Says:
    November 3rd, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    More LegoRobot for dat ass:

  4. Danm Says:
    November 5th, 2009 at 8:20 am

    Nerd Lust:

    http://scifiwire.com/2009/11/bikini-leia-and-her-stunt.php

  5. Chris Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 12:32 am

    UP ALL NIGHT WITH CHRIS – HOUR 2

    I’m working a third shift tonight from 11pm-7am. I’m here at work now, hating life. I tried to adjust my sleep today to prepare as best as possible for being up all night, but that really didn’t work out so well for me. I tried to stay up all night like a kid waiting for Santa. And like kids usually do, I failed to make it even three hours into the morning. I slept on and off until 9:30 this morning, but it was shitty, broken sleep so I felt like crap all day. I feel like a fuckin’ zombie. I’ve decided to post my random thoughts here as a way to entertain myself and keep myself awake. Just so you know.

  6. Chris Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:30 am

    UP ALL NIGHT WITH CHRIS – HOUR 4

    Here’s something you didn’t ask to hear about: my old electric guitar has a frayed internal jack cable, so sometimes the connection is simply lost while I play. All of a sudden there is no sound at all. I took it apart and haven’t been able to fix it or play it for about a year. Normally I’m cool sticking with my acoustics and sometimes I even plug in my acoustic/electric and play it with the overdrive cranked all the way to 11, but it’s just not the same. Sometimes, especially when I want to play the blues, an acoustic just won’t do. It doesn’t feel right, and it certainly doesn’t sound right. So when my second paycheck came in I decided that I was going to look for a guitar. I usually hang out at the Mark & PopRox residence on Wednesday nights, and last Wednesday I stopped by a pawnshop on the way there.

    I’m not sure if you’ve ever done any pawnshopping, but you can never tell what you’re in for in one of those places. Some pawnbrokers have a set price for pretty much anything they sell. If it’s shaped like a guitar, they label it “guitar” and attach their standard guitar price to it. Other pawnbrokers act like they’re selling valuable fucking antiques and want an arm and a leg for everything in the store. Having never been to this store before, I looked through the guitars and found the electrics marked anywhere from $80-$200, which is pretty standard for a pawnshop.

    Like Will Ferrell in Stranger Than Fiction, I just wanted a guitar. I didn’t want anything fancy. Just an electric guitar that fulfils the two primary functions of an electric guitar: 1) it holds tuning well and produces a clean, pleasant sound when played and amplified properly, and 2) tells the world “The guy playing me fucking rocks” without also telling the world “The guy playing me believes he is in a music video at this very moment and desperately craves attention.” I just wanted a standard electric guitar, and one of the best ways I know to get that is to look at the price. If the price tag is extremely high, you’re probably looking at a guitar that was made for people who want to appear as if they know how to play, despite whether or not they can actually do so. You’re paying for the illusion of skill. I say fuck that; I’ve got skill, I don’t need to pay to pretend. So I decided to look for the cheapest guitar they had.

    There she was, marked $69.99, and she was gorgeous. Solid body with a sunburst finish, clean, only a few minor dents, smooth action on the tone and volume knobs, very stiff, precise positioning on the selector switch… I was in love. So I picked her up and gave her the ultimate test. I played her. And I couldn’t believe it – she was in tune! On the rack! I’d never encountered this. She was tuned, presumably by her former owner, and was still in tune now, after being pawned, stored, and put up for sale. I played a little blues riff, strummed a few chords, and then took her to the counter. I had heard enough; she would be mine. On the way there I named her Mathilda. She was PERFECT.

    I laid her on the counter, and told the man I’d also need a case, a stand, and a strap. I knew from other pawn shop visits they keep these things in the back, where people can’t see them and potentially be put off by a related expense, so I didn’t even ask if they had them. I knew they were back there somewhere. I was prepared to spend another $50 on accessories. But the guy behind the counter told me – and I was AMAZED to hear this – that he would throw in a solid shell case for free if I bought the guitar. Why he would do this is beyond me. I had already told him I was going to buy the guitar. And I thought it was understood that I was also going to buy the case. I was willing to pay for a case, strap, and stand. I don’t know why he was still trying to sell me on the guitar by throwing in a case; I had already told him it was a sale. I had said that no more than 30 seconds prior to him offering the case for free. But I didn’t argue. I just said, “Okay, sounds like a deal” and he went off to the back to find a case while his assistant brought me a whole box of straps to choose from. They didn’t have stands, so they threw in the strap for free as well. It turned out he didn’t have a solid shell case in the back, so he gave me a pretty much brand new Rhino featherweight gig bag with backpack straps and two deep zippered pockets for sheet music. This is a $45 gig bag. There was even a box of 10 Fender medium gage picks in the pocket, which is my preferred gage. This was shaping up to be a pretty good deal for Chris.

    I placed eveything in the gig bag, marveled silently at my luck, then pulled out my wallet. The guy asked me how I was going to pay, cash or credit, and before I had a chance to open my mouth he said “If you pay cash, I’ll pay the tax.” I looked at him silently for a few seconds, trying to figure out why this guy kept cutting prices as if I needed more convincing. He was talking himself out of money at every turn, and I have no idea why. I had never complained about the price. I had not, in fact, spoken of cost at all. Not once. I suppose my hesitation made him even more eager to make less money, because he quickly added “And maybe I can cut you a deal on the guitar.” Not wanting to jinx this streak of fortune with talk, I just said “I’ll pay cash.” He hit a few buttons on the register and looked at me with inexplicable triumph in his eyes, and said “Sixty bucks!”

    $60! Sixty fucking dollars! He threw in all this shit for free, negated the tax, and in the end charged me ten dollars less than the price I HAD ALREADY AGREED TO PAY. I don’t know what kind of math this guy was doing, but I paid the $60 and got the hell out of there before he came to his senses. I have no clue what his deal was. Mathilda is great. She’s pretty. She sounds fantastic. She holds a tune wonderfully. She even has an inset amp jack, which doesn’t mean much of anything important at all really, except that it’s shiny chrome and looks cool as hell. She’s exactly what I was looking for in a guitar, and she was a bargain to boot. I was so happy with her I decided to bring her in tonight and play her while I’m sitting here with nothing to do. I’m basically getting paid to play guitar and surf the internet tonight. You know, maybe I could get used to this third shift gig after all.


    Click to embiggen.

    Imagine that my cell phone didn’t blueshift everything it takes pictures of and you’ll have a better idea what Mathilda looks like. Ain’t she purty?!

  7. Chris Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 3:10 am

    UP ALL NIGHT WITH CHRIS – HOUR 5

    I’m used to getting out of bed an hour from now. I am struggling here. Yawning constantly and my eyes will not stop watering. The coffee is no longer working. Jesus Christ, I am so sleepy. And I’ve still got four more hours to go…

  8. Chris Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 3:58 am

    UP ALL NIGHT WITH CHRIS – HOUR 5

    A while back I borrowed Frog Boy’s old Xbox and I have since then encountered a going out of business sale at Game Crazy. Half off prices that were already ridiculously low because I’m buying games for a system that’s five years out of date.

    Picked up Burnout 3 and Burnout Revenge among many others. After installing Burnout 3 I popped in Burnout Revenge, made a gamer profile, and was greeted with a pleasant surprise. Burnout Revenge detected my saved game from Burnout 3, which unlocked a car you can only get in this way, the awesome looking Dominator Assassin.

    I’ve always been a fan of 40s and 50s art deco cars, so the Dominator Assassin is right up my alley. Also right up my alley is any car that participates in a automotive competition it has absolutley no business being in. And in the midst of all these souped up sports/race cars, what could be more out of place than a minibus? Why, John Madden’s EA Sports Madden Challenge Bus, of course.


    Click to embiggen.

    I don’t know jack shit about sports, and I do not care to. All I know is that Madden refuses to fly, so he tours on a bus. I also know that EA is the publisher of Madden’s games as well as the Burnout series, and this little piece of cross promotion is fucking genius. If you have a Madden NFL 2006 game saved on your memory card or hard drive when you create your profile, Burnout detects that and unlocks the Madden Challenge Bus. I’ve never played a Madden game in my life. But Frog Boy did at some point, and his saved game unlocked the coolest vehicle in all of Burnout.

    No matter how many times I choose this bus, crank it up to 140 mph, and smash into a freeway full of vehicles causing millions of dollars in property damage, it never fails to make me smile. Not only is it amusing, but it’s a bonus that’s actually worth a damn. Like the Dominator Assassin, the Madden Challenge Bus is a very useful, powerful vehicle for causing maximum crash damage. I was expecting the normal, forgettable, blah cross promotion non-event, but when it comes to causing unadulterated vehicular destruction these cars fucking rock. Well played, EA.


    I’ve also read that you can unlock the Madden Challenge Bus by watching the Madden NFL trailer that comes with the game, but I can’t confirm that. Click the pic to embiggen.

  9. Chris Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 4:34 am

    UP ALL NIGHT WITH CHRIS – HOUR 6

    I’ve heard tell of this thing called a second wind. When does one get one of those, exactly? Boy, I’ve gotta get some sleep. I’m dying. I don’t look good. I don’t. I’ve looked better. I didn’t used to look like this.

  10. Chris Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 5:02 am

    UP ALL NIGHT WITH CHRIS – HOUR 7

    Ladies and gentlemen… Pink Freud!

  11. Chris Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 5:09 am

    UP ALL NIGHT WITH CHRIS – HOUR 7

    oh my fucking god i can’t stay awake

  12. Chris Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 5:18 am

    UP ALL NIGHT WITH CHRIS – HOUR 7

    my pancreas attracts every other pancreas in the universe with a force proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them. woo woo woo woo.

  13. Chris Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 5:42 am

    UP ALL NIGHT WITH CHRIS – HOUR 7

    I think I feel my second wind coming on. That’s good. I should be wide awake just in time to drive home, jump into bed, and not be able to get to sleep. I’ve also decided it’s a good idea to go back and label the hours of this countdown in the format ‘UP ALL NIGHT WITH CHRIS – HOUR X‘, where X is the number hours I’m into here at work. I don’t remember why this was a good idea, but it’s done now and I’m not fuckin undoing it.

  14. Chris Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 6:05 am

    UP ALL NIGHT WITH CHRIS – HOUR 8

    Sweet jesus one more hour to go. trying to sleep and if these bitches from the early shift don’t quiet down and stop waking me up THERE WILL BE BLOOD AND PAIN AS YOU CANNOT IMAGINE.

  15. Chris Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 6:59 am

    UP ALL NIGHT WITH CHRIS – HOUR 8

    I was here alone all night, which makes me the Communicator, which is an extremely important, business critical communications position here at The Company (or so The Company has told me). My backup is here and asked me if I’ve been monitoring the Communicator email account. I’ve never heard of the Communicator email account. Turns out I don’t have access to the Communicator email account, even though I’ve been the Communicator for the last eight hours. But that’s okay because the Communicator emails also come through the Blackberry. Only the Blackberry is locked with a password I wasn’t given until five minutes ago, so there is no fucking way I was ever going to see those emails. I have reached the blinding, white-hot hatred stage of my exhaustion. I have also gotten my second wind, which means I am able to focus on the objects of my rages. I leave this fucking place in five minutes. Pray that you are not in front of me when I drive home.

  16. QBall Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    Wow! I’ll bet that when I stopped you from leaving for some chit-chat as I was on my way in this morning you were plotting a few different ways of strangling me. :-)

  17. Chris Says:
    November 9th, 2009 at 6:27 am

    Actually, I’m the one who stopped you. I’m not surprised you don’t remember. You didn’t even notice I was there because you were still drunk. I had to say “Hey, man” three times before you even looked up at me, and even then I think it took a few seconds for your alcohol pickled brain to recognize and/or remember who I was. The next time someone thinks you’re dressed up as The Undertaker post-drinking, don’t be offended. It’s perfectly understandable. You looked like you had just clawed your way out of your grave.

  18. Chris Says:
    November 12th, 2009 at 9:07 am

    I was out sick yesterday and got nothing accomplished, personally or professionally. I just wrote a big review of the Styx concert I went to Tuesday night, the first Sci-Fi Guys Music Review we’ve had in a long, long time, and I was really happy with it. Then IE crashed and I realized I had written the whole thing in the comments editor, which does not autosave drafts. So that’s gone. Just went to the bathroom and realized that in my sickly morning haze I put on a pair of pants that were meant to go in the garbage, and now I have to walk around the office all day with a four inch rip in my crotch. Well, not my crotch. The crotch of my pants. But still, today is not going smoothly. So instead of interesting new original content in the form of a concert review (Styx was PHENOMENAL and REO Speedwagon sucked except for “Riding The Storm Out”) you get this, some blueprints of R2-D2 I found a few days ago.


    Click the pic to make it readable. Or not. Whatever, dude, do what you want. I’m not your mom.

  19. Chris Says:
    November 13th, 2009 at 6:17 am

    It’s Friday the 13th! Will there be an article about this today? Could it be this year’s big Halloween wrap-up? Only The Shadow knows!

  20. Elfie Says:
    November 18th, 2009 at 10:15 am

    reading the staying up all night posts… sucks to be you.

    Try reading a book to stay awake. That or meditating works for me.

  21. Chris Says:
    November 18th, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    But, Elfie… I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO READ!

  22. Chris Says:
    November 19th, 2009 at 6:18 am

    I feel like the Devil shit in my mouth. My nose is dripping like Slimer, I got a pain in my throat like an Alien chewing it’s way out, and I’m coughing up more green stuff than Linda Blair. I’m like a one-man special effects unit. Guess what production I will NOT be starring in today? Work.

  23. Elfie Says:
    November 24th, 2009 at 8:54 am

    Try an audio book liderlikker

  24. Danm Says:
    November 24th, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    wow.

    http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/ef4c3a6dc8/dildocorn-pony-my-little-pony-trailer

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Indeed!