Chris’s tribute to Drag Strip
This is Drag Strip. He's a Transformer, a Decepticon, a member of the Stunticons, and one of the most memorable little toys I've ever owned. Not only does he provide a much needed limb for Menasor and turn into a pretty cool little race car, but he has six wheels. Why does he have six wheels? Click the pic and I'll tell you all about it.
THE SCI-FI GUYS 100th ARTICLE!
I've had Drag Strip since I was a kid back in 1986, and I've always wondered about the weird 6-wheel design. I never complained about it, mind you. Drag Strip is one of the most unique looking of all the realistically styled Transformers, and his car mode is pretty fantastic. But as far as that realistic styling was concerned, I always thought he was kind of a cheat. There is no such thing as a race car with two sets of front wheels, right? All the other Stunticons were clearly modeled after real vehicles. Why was Drag Strip different? I mean, six wheels on a Formula 1 racer? What the hell is that about? Growing up I assumed that this was something the people at Hasbro had done to differentiate him from other race car toys. Little did I know that Hasbro had nothing at all to do with his very unorthodox, but very true to real life, design.
All of the early Transformers were designed by the Japanese toy company Takara. As a matter of fact, most of the Transformers ever made have been designed by Takara. If it were possible for me to make love to an entire corporation, Takara would be the first one I'd wine, dine, charm, and disarm to get into those sexy little Japanese pants. They have made my life so much better than it would have been without them that I simply cannot imagine a world in which they never existed. It would be like asking a person who was born blind to describe what they imagine the color blue looks like. Its just not possible.
They'll never understand. Why? Because they're deaf. They can't
But despite Takara's awesomeness, even they are not ultimately responsible for Drag Strip's very cool design. No, that honor goes to Tyrrell. Note the two r's; this is not the same Tyrell that builds the Replicants. I'm talking about the the Tyrrell Racing Organisation, an auto racing and Formula One construction team. Then again, maybe they are the same company; there's definitely some weird sci-fi-esque time displacement going on if their legal info is to be believed. According to what they've posted, their website was copyrighted in 1958. I'm no history whiz, but I am fairly certain that predates the invention of HTML. Inside their website things get even more confusing; they only have listings for events that took place in one of two years, 1971 or 2005. That's pretty strange in and of itself, but its even more fucked up when you consider that the organization was sold off and raced their last race, the Japanese Grand Prix, in 1998. According to my research, Tyrrell ceased to exist after that. How in the hell can they have a 2005 schedule and racing team info? Somebody needs to call Doc and Marty to go check into this. Something's not right.
Fortunately for Tyrrell their cars are better than their calendars. In 1976 the team set out to build a car with small front tires to reduce both wind resistance and drag. Smaller tires would have resulted in a loss of contact between the rubber and the road, making the a car far less maneuverable and a lot more dangerous. To compensate, their design was given four specially manufactured 10-inch diameter front wheels. A special suspension was constructed, allowing all four front wheels to be steered. Toss in one high performance Ford V8 racing engine, and thus was born the Tyrrell P34, the world's most successful six wheeled Formula One race car.
Note that I said 'most successful,' not 'only.' There have been others, to be sure. There are always others, are there not? Even in a life as short as yours, other six wheeled race cars have been built. But my research, although admittedly inexpert, shows that the P34 is the only six wheeled Formula One that ever had two wheels up front. All the other six wheelers had two rear wheels designed to place more power on the road, just like the rear drive wheels of modern semi tractors do.
Unlike six wheeled cars made to deliver more power, the P34 was designed with two wheels up front to provide superior handling. And as well as it worked on paper, it proved to be even better in live races. The P34's first race was the 1976 Spanish Grand Prix, where it proved to be very competitive. Driver Jody Scheckter went on to win the 1976 Swedish Grand Prix driving the P34, making him the first and only driver ever to win a Grand Prix in a six wheeled car. He is shown below driving the P34 on 31 July 1976; click the pic for a different image of the P34 in action, date and driver unknown. I didn't put the linked image on the page because you need to see it full sized to get the details. It displays how the four front tires could grip the road even during high acceleration turns that lifted the P34's rear wheels off the track. Pretty cool stuff.
So how did the Decepticons get their hands on the Tyrell P34 design? Simple, they stole it. It all took place in the 1985 two-part episode "The Key To Vector Sigma." In what was the most wonderfully graphic display of the Decepticons utter disregard for human life, Rumble descends on a race track in the middle of a competition and snatches a car. What's so great wasn't that he threw the guy out of the car and into the oncoming race traffic. The really great part is that he picked the driver up by his fucking head. I remember seeing this episode for the first time at my grandparents' house when I was a kid and I was dumbfounded. It struck me way back then that there was absolutely no way this guy could have lived. Even if the other drivers missed him, his neck was snapped. They could show whatever they wanted after the toss, it didn't matter. Anything they showed to prove he was okay was done because there were little kids watching. I knew the truth. That guy was fucking dead. They just showed a Decepticon killing somebody, and to my 11 year old brain that could only mean that Transformers was the most hard core goddamned cartoon on this planet. That's a big deal to a kid. Is there any doubt as to why I'm still a fan to this day?
Here's the deal: Megatron, who was apparently on his period and not thinking his shit through properly, was all pissy that the Autobots had all the cool car vehicle modes while the Decepticons were stuck transforming into stupid cassette players and useless pistols. And, oh yeah, heavily armed supersonic fighter jets. Clearly the incredible advantage one would have with a force of nigh indestructible giant robots that turned into warplanes didn't mean much to him. He wanted to rule the roads as well. So after stealing the P34 and a few other cars and converting them into Transformers, Megatron takes the mindless robots to Vector Sigma, the giant supercomputer at the core of Cybertron. Megatron has obtained the key to Vector Sigma, and with it to give them personalities and intelligence. Megatron did this presumably because he did not want the Stunticons to be mentally retarded like the Dinobots, whose minds were programmed by Wheeljack. Vector Sigma zaps the P34-bot with his purple Frankenstein lightning bolts, and Drag Strip is alive… IT'S ALIVE!! So what kind of personality did Vector Sigma give Drag Strip? Click the tech spec below to find out.
So if the P34 was awesome enough to win a Grand Prix and be made into a Transformer, why aren't they still around? At the end of 1976 Goodyear stopped all research into making better high performance 10 inch tires for the car. Also, because Tyrrell was apparently run by low level managers and people with no clue as to how to leave well enough alone, they decided to tinker with the design and fix what wasn't broken. And they broke it. The P34 was redesigned in 1977; the aerodynamics were better, but the car was wider and heavier than before. The added weight of the "improved" front suspension system lowered performance, and, along with Goodyear's decision to stop making better tires, the P34 design was abandoned altogether for the 1978 racing season. And that's how the sad, sad story of coolest looking race car ever comes to an end… almost.
In recent exhibition races, restored Tyrrell P34s running on newly manufactured Avon 10 inch tires have performed exceptionally well. In 1999 and 2000 the resurrected Tyrrell P34 raced on British and European circuits in the FIA Thoroughbred Grand Prix series. Driving Tyrrell P34 No. 6, Martin Stretton won the 2000 Thoroughbred Grand Prix. Click the pic below for oto6's impressive Tyrrell P34 gallery.
Will there ever be another six wheeled Formula One car? Doubtful. Since its against one or more of the sixteen zillion anti-fun regulations enacted by the FIA and FISA to race anything but four wheeled cars in modern Formula One races, I hardly see why anyone would spend millions of dollars designing and building one. Seriously, you should check out this massive list of restrictions these racers have to contend with; I'm almost surprised there's no rule against speeding. No, I think with a governing body this anal and clearly opposed to things that totally rule, the days of the very cool six wheeled speed machines are regrettably gone forever.
So what the hell is Drag Strip supposed to do? Sure, he can combine with the other Stunticons every now and then and be Menasor's arm or leg, but that doesn't change the fact that he's stuck in a vehicle mode from the 70s. Lots of other Transformers have been given updated vehicle modes reminiscent of their original designs. Hell, the Transformers: Binaltech/Alternators line is built on that very concept. But there are no modern equivalents to the P34. Its unique six wheel design is lost to high performance cars. There are no more six wheelers designed for delivering raw speed and racing performance. It's a hopeless case. That is, it was hopeless until 2004.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the 2004 Covini C6W. That's right, an honest to Primus high performance, modern six wheeled car with four steerable front wheels. It will come as surprise to nobody that the Italians designed a really, really expensive car that goes incredibly fast and makes shallow women more likely to fuck you. What may come as a surprise, though, is the laundry list of ways the two extra wheels make this thing more awesome than Optimus Prime's suicide charge on the Decepticons invading Autobot City.
First, and most importantly to me, it just looks incredible. I mean god damn, that's a cool looking car. Its the perfect blend of sports car and spaceship, with just a little Bladerunner thrown in for good measure. I predict DanM will love this thing to death; it looks like something straight out of Shadowrun. Secondly, the extra wheels make it a lot safer and more maneuverable, which is handy considering the car tops out at around 185 miles per hour. If you think that's too fast for the average driver on a typical street, you're probably right. But you don't have much to worry about; Covini is only making one of these every month. Since 2004, assuming they started production in January, that comes out to only 46 Covini C6Ws in the world. So, mathematically speaking, you're not too likely to run into one of these. Besides, they start at around $300,000, so its not like your neighbor's kids are gonna be tear-assing around the neighborhood in one after their sweet sixteen. This is a car for people who are WAY too rich to live in your neighborhood.
Last, this gives me hope that, on the off chance they put Drag Strip in the TransFormers sequel, they'll use this design. Not only will it keep him true to his Generation One heritage, but seeing one of these sweet ass rides on the movie screen will make me feel a little less bad about blowing my cash on what I'm sure will be a bad movie. By the way, if you'd like to join the push to have Drag Strip appear in the sequel as a Covini C6W, go out and find the Transformers discussion groups who are talking about it and make your voice heard loud and clear. I'm not gonna link the one group I found who are pushing to have the Stunticons in the next movie because, quite frankly, I didn't bookmark it and now I can't find it. But its out there. Pinky swear.
That's pretty much all the fascinating Drag Strip info I've got for you, folks. But, as if all that wasn't wonderful enough, guess what? THIS IS OUR 100TH ARTICLE! Yep, we've hit the big C. And in celebration, I see no other option than to rock the fuck out. That's right, my bitches; throw your jean jacket on, tighten your headband, and crank the Mötley Crüe up to 11 — its time for a celebratory air guitar jam!
The venue: Wembley Stadium, London, England. The date: Tuesday, November 13, 2007. The event: a sold-out international air guitar concert held in honor of The Sci-Fi Guys 100th article.
Legendary air guitar virtuoso Pink Lloyd opened the show with a blistering 12 song set that concluded with his seldom performed, near mythical rendition of Van Halen's "Jump." Backstage he said about The Sci-Fi Guys, "I wouldn't be here if it weren't for them. I mean, I'd still have the moves, and the look, and the killer chops. But not the pants. These were a gift from Chris. He wore them to his senior prom, he wore them to his bachelor party, and he wore them to the funerals of all four of his grandparents. Then he passed them on to me. You can't buy that kind of history, man. You can only let it rock through you."
A newcomer on the air guitar scene, Tokyo pop sensation Midori stole the show with her wild performance of Asia's "Heat Of The Moment." After the concert she had this to say, "There's no tears on the bus. The Sci-Fi Guys is such a beautiful thing is always good that it is fascinating. However, a good thing is beautiful always, even to protect yourself from the risk of those hawkers and criers. May their excessively high charge with the characteristics of the driver." Midori's translator could not be reached for comment.
Deep Purple lead singer Ian Gillan, taking the stage in an unscheduled surprise appearance, wields his nonexistent axe with rock-god perfection. Interviewed after the gig, Ian reported "The blokes love the SFG [a commonly used European abbreviation for The Sci-Fi Guys]. The Guys have ripped out more great reviews than Ritchie Blackmore has ripped off other people's riffs. They're solid, man. Fucking solid."
The evening concluded with an unprecedented 3½ hour encore, culminating in an impromptu all-star jam session. Played during the encore were fan favorites "Flirting With Disaster," "NIB," "South Of Heaven," and a fiery, furious air guitar rendition of Leon Redbone's "According To Our New Arrivals," more famously known as the theme from Mr. Belvedere.
The Sci-Fi Guys would like to thank Wembley National Stadium, Inc., The London Metropolitan Police Service, and The Hell's Angels Concert Security Division for their invaluable assistance during the performances. Most of all, we extend our deepest love, respect, and gratitude to all of our loyal fans who have made all of this possible. We look forward to another 100 articles and to rocking your face off yet again. Until then, rock out with your Spock out, keep on keepin' on, and may The Schwartz be with you. 'Til all are one!
November 15th, 2007 at 10:26 am
Don’t know if you saw this or have heard of it, it originally aired in June and I had heard about it, but I just now saw the whole thing. Robot Chicken did a whole 30 minute tribute to Star Wars and it is hilarious… here is the link to watch the whole thing.
http://www.adultswim.com/shows/robotchicken/stuff/rcsw/ivcp/
Found this link it’s to Cracked magazine online. I know Chris can’t look at it at work
But I had to post it on sci-fi-guys. It’s the 5 upcoming comic book movies that must be stopped.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15679_p2.html
November 15th, 2007 at 10:28 am
I can’t see either of these from the office. This place sucks…
November 15th, 2007 at 10:34 am
November 15th, 2007 at 10:35 am
And now I am happy again!
If I could show me dancing within a comment posting, you’d see it. I may actually have to break down and buy an Xbox if this comes true.
November 15th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Thanks… here is more.
November 15th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
I’m stoked they got Ernie Hudson to do this. A lot of times he’s completely ignored when it comes to the Ghostbusters franchises and related properties. Check out some of the ads for the first movie if you ever get the chance; he’s rarely ever shown and almost never credited. Its good to know that Winston’s going to get his share of the spotlight in this game.
November 15th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
I have some news from the world of Gozer. This comes from Variety care of the always amazing Ghostbusters Prop Archive:
I'm not sure why the article mentions Brian Doyle Murray so prominently; he was only in Ghostbusters II for about three seconds. What about Sigourney Weaver or Rick Moranis? How the hell can you have this game without Louis Tully? He was one of the funniest things in both the movies. Nepotism pays off, I guess. Brian Doyle Murray got his little brother Bill into the business when nobody wanted to hire him. The way I see it, Bill owes him. That's probably the way Bill sees it, too, which would explain why they're in so many movies together. But still, he sure as hell isn't as important as Annie Potts or William Atherton. If they're going to have people who were such minor players as Brian Doyle Murray listed as supporitng stars, why not have Cheech Marin and Ron Jeremy in it?
Speaking of William Atherton, how fucking amazing is it that Walter Peck is gonna be in this video game? Sweet smoking monkey balls, I can't wait to get a look at this thing. According to what I read over at Proton Charging, Game Informer Insiders (folks who have a subscription to the magazine and can access exclusive GI online content) may be able to get advance info or maybe even images and special deals on this game. So if anyone out there has this ability - I'm talking to you, Balthazar - please keep us in the loop.
Here are some more screenshots of the game, courtesy of Variety. I figured I'd just post them here so you don't have to go through all that laborious clicking:
Strangely enough, considering the astounding amount of internet buzz rumors of this game have generated over the last year or so, Vivendi Games' ulgy ass website has nothing about the Ghostbusters game whatsoever. That's weird; I thought companies liked it when consumers get excited about their products. I just hope this isn't more Sony mandated secrecy bullshit that jeopardizes the release of this game. God, that would piss me off to a level of anger hitherto unknown to mankind. However, Vivendi has released the following high-resolution screen capture of the game which more than makes up for their silence. Click the pick below for the full size image, and, man oh man, is it sweet.
November 16th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Chris’s note: Balthazar emailed this to me to post in his name, but he forgot to include where it came from so I could give proper credit to the original author(s). If this is your article, post a comment and let us know who you are. And thanks for the info.
November 16th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
source uncredited
November 16th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
Do you see? Do you see, my friends, the incredible power I and the rest of The Sci-Fi Guys hold over the entertainment industry? It’s not even 24 hours after I chastised Vivendi Games for their inexcusable lack of Ghostbusters online info, and they reveal an entire website devoted to the game. Witness the power I wield!
Do you feel that, entertainment world?! That’s the iron fist of The Sci-Fi Guys hanging above you. Thou shalt provide us with all the Ghostbusters information we crave, or thou shalt be crushed. The choice is made! The traveler has come!
November 16th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
Hey, kids. Deep in my heart I know that, although you are too proud to admit it, you can't possibly live without more Drag Strip in your lives. So I'm here to help you. It's all about the love with me. I was way too tired to add this info last night, but just in case you haven't had your fill, I've got some more six wheeled goodness for dat ass.
If you want your very own Drag Strip but don't want to shell out the cash for an original toy, you can always go the criminal route. No, I'm not encouraging you to steal one. I'm talking bootlegs.
This is "Containercar," a completely unauthorized remake of three Stunticons and two Technobots. As the holidays approach, you're going to see these bootlegs more and more if you frequent the low rent types of stores that I do. Are these legal? Depends on who you are. It's legal to buy them, so if you're a shopper you're in the clear. It's legal to give them away, so if you want to give one as a Christmas present go for it. It's probably legal to sell them, but it's definitely not legal to manufacture them. These toys are produced using unlicensed copyrighted and trademarked molds and images from Takara and Hasbro. Then again, trademarks and licensing traditionally don't mean much to the Chinese, who pump out cheap plastic rip-offs of decent toys faster than Michael Bay pumps out cinematic feces. But at $5 for the whole set, they're a hell of a lot cheaper than buying a real Drag Strip all by his lonesome.
In this set, Drag Strip is called "Shooter." You would be able to see this printed on the package in the first photo if the guy I stole that picture from had not plastered his website's ugly watermark all over the image, a crime for which he receives no linkage back to his site. I am instead forced to steal another image, this time from ROBOTMONSTERTOYS.COM. Although ROBOTMONSTERTOYS.COM has posted an inferior picture of Containercar, the good people at ROBOTMONSTERTOYS.COM have not defaced their own image files with pointless, unattractive graffiti, and therefore ROBOTMONSTERTOYS.COM gets mondo linkage from me. See how that works?
I have a Containercar of my very own, and I am pleased with the quality. He has stood upon my desk here at work for quite some time now and has even fallen over once or twice, and is still intact. Almost. If you do give this as a Christmas present, be aware that you're giving someone a handful of cheap Asian plastic that will probably crumble into dust if handled even remotely as though it were a toy meant for young boys. As a collector I expect bootlegs to be fragile, but children just expect a toy, and there will be tears when they break these things as they are opening the package. Keep that in mind if you're buying for the kids. Also be aware that anyone in the know about Transformers will instantly spot these toys as low priced bootlegs, and your gift will be irrefutable physical evidence that you're a cheap ass. Just FYI.
See anything weird about that picture? Yeah, that's a bootleg Scavenger where bootleg Drag Strip should be. A lot of folks don't know that Scavenger attaches to the rest of Devastator by a flat peg that is almost precisely the diagonal width that the pegs (usually the smaller robots’ heads) the Scramble City style combiners like Containercar use to attach their limbs. That means Scavenger can sneak his way onto these robots as a super cool looking arm that, unlike the other Scramble City style limbs, actually has a working elbow joint. Fortunately this property holds over to bootleg copies as long as they are roughly the same scale as the originals, and Containercar is.
So why is Scavenger there? You know how I said Containercar had fallen over before and was almost intact? Guess which bot broke in the fall? That's right, Drag Strip/Shooter. Containercar fell and snapped Shooter’s little head right off inside the shoulder socket. In a moment of weakness I gave the decapitated bot away to a coworker's four year old son who thought he was the coolest little car in the world. I kept the head, though. I'm convinced I can find something interesting to do with it.
Got some interesting info on the Covini as well. Turns out that the C6W and the Tyrrell P34 are a lot more connected than I originally knew. The original idea for the C6W was conceived by Ferruccio Covini in 1974, two years before the Tyrrell team would design and build the P34. Like the P34, the 1974 concept for the C6W ran into trouble with the front tires. The designer decided to use ten inch front wheels, just like the P34, because no suitable low profile tires existed at the time, but the project was eventually shelved in favor of another design.
In the 1980s a workable hydro-pneumatic suspension for the four front wheels where devised to optimize weight distribution, but project costs forced the project to be abandoned yet again. The arrival of consumer interest in safety technologies and airbags in the 1990s pointed Covini in the direction of new research into active and passive safety, and once again the project was revived due to the inherent safety of the four front wheel design. What's so safe about it? Not surprisingly, Covini has a list:
The worries about handling and hydroplaning may seem a bit much, but this car is very lightweight, which increases the need for anti-hydroplaning technology. Especially at the speeds this thing is capable of. Even with the extra set of wheels and the added suspension it takes to use them, the C6W only weighs about 2/3 of what a Ferrari Testarosa does. It's fast, light, agile, futuristic, and drool inspiring. What else could a Sci-Fi Guy ask for?
This is a video of Patrick Depailler testing the Tyrrell P34 before a race. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know dick about cars or racing, but this is easily the ballsiest fucking display of sheer chest hair having, meat eating, Chuck Norris lumberjack manliness I have seen in a very long time. They’ve taken what appears to be most of the body of the P34 off completely so the camera can see how it works when driven. He’s driving around at full speed on the streets of Monaco, essentially strapped to the fame of a car with a racing engine installed in it, and he’s calmly narrating the whole thing. Your cock is huge, sir. I salute you.
The clip below is driver Jackie Stewart and some random, unintelligible French 70s hottie talking about the P34. The clip is labeled 1975. Everything I’ve ever read says this car was designed, built, and tested in 1976, but this is a Tyrrell video, so who the fuck knows when it was actually filmed. They may, via the magic of Tyrrell’s time travel technology, actually be filming this as I watch it for all I know. Doesn’t matter; it’s a great clip and the guy seems to know what he’s talking about. Also, I hope for his sake he got to fuck that French chick because she was gorgeous, and if the last 32 years have done to her what they’ve done to me, then she’s not fuckable in the least anymore. Enjoy.
November 19th, 2007 at 9:22 am
I enjoyed reading about Drag Strip and the actual car he was modeled after. This is one of my favorite articles that you have written. Nice job bro - thanks for always making the site interesting and fun to read. Frog Boy likes pictures too.
Peace,
Frog Boy
November 19th, 2007 at 10:55 am
November 19th, 2007 at 11:16 am
Like I needed another reason to play this game…
Let’s say, hypothetically speaking, that one worked at a place where one could access practically nothing online related to gaming, and that one wanted to know what Easter eggs were hiding inside Halo 3, and that one did not want to wait until one got home to know what Easter eggs there were, nor could one spend time searching for those Easter eggs while playing, because while playing one is kept too busy avoiding Balthazar who always gets the god damn sniper rifle and the high ground first every fucking time we play. What might one see were one to click the “Easter eggs can be found” link above?
November 19th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
I saw the Transformers movie for the first time this past weekend.
Since Chris has yet to publish is review, I will say only this (keep in mind I had zero expectations):
WHAT THE FUCK?!
November 19th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
DanM, is right. “WHAT THE FUCK?!” is exactly the sentiment this movie will engender in those who love the Transformers as much as I do. More on that when my review drops.
Just for the record, my review is mostly finished. However, I am not polishing and publishing it until some time after Christmas. It has been so, SO hard to keep my mouth shut about the movie, but I’ve managed to let only a few pieces of info slip here and there. There’s a very good reason I’m delaying the article.
After the lovely and talented T.H.O. Girl clued me into the DVD release date (smack dab in the middle of our Halloween celebration), I had the bright idea that I would review both the movie and the DVD release at once. Now that I know there are at least three separate versions of this DVD (not counting the HD releases), one of which I have and the other two I am expecting to get for Christmas, I am going to do something I’ve never done before and review three separate DVD treatments of the same movie as well as the movie itself, all in one monster review. Yeah, its gonna be a big one. I don’t want to give too much away, but if you absolutely hate Michael Bay and want to watch him get set on fire by a mob of angry, pitchfork wielding villagers, then you’re probably the kind of person who will enjoy my critique of his work.
In any case, stay tuned. The review is definitely on its way. In the mean time, if you need your Transformers fix, you can head over to my review of The Transformers: The Movie, the article in which I dissect and examine two DVD treatments and the movie itself. My review of the new movie will likely not be quite as long as my encyclopedic entry on the 1986 release due to the fact that the new movie contains approximately 98% less awesomeness.
November 21st, 2007 at 10:48 am
Yet another 80’s cartoon icon will be massacred on the big screen: G.I.Joe
From what I’ve read “the storyline will revolve around GIJOE, a Brussels-based Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, that is co-ed collection of international special ops agents who use lots of cool tech toys to fight Cobra, a group of evildoers led by a Scottish arms dealer.”
WTF???!!!!!
I thought G.I.Joe was a real AMERICAN hero. This PC bullshit is getting out of hand.
November 21st, 2007 at 2:24 pm
DanM, I understand your frustration, but you’re assuming too much. I’ve been reading up on that as well, and its not a political correctness thing. They’re doing it in the name of international marketing. Blame the studio; they’re changing the whole concept of the team in an effort to increase overseas box office sales. Big thumbs down from me, too.
Of course, they did the same thing in the 80s overseas, only it was Hasbro themselves that did it then. They called the show and toys “Action Force.” The only difference is that back then we didn’t have the internet to allow us to be instantly informed/pissed about it. Check it out:
Dig the coflicting messages: Duke is standing on top of the Statue Of Liberty holding an American flag, Shipwreck is decked out in the traditional garb of the US Navy, Spirit, an American fucking Indian, is there with his pet eagle Freedom, there are American flags on everyone’s jet packs and fatigues, and the identification letters on the television cameras and military craft are all in FCC and US armed forces formats. And all the while the singers are singing “Action Force, international heroes, Action force is there…”
My question is, if you want to make a movie about a European based anti-terrorist organization, why not just call it something else? Paramount could have made a movie all their own and not had to pay Hasbro for the use of the G.I. Joe license. Why the hell would you pay to make a G.I. Joe movie and then make a movie about a group of people who are only superficially like G.I. Joe? Am I the only one who remembers how badly this very same thing turned out for the live action Masters Of The Universe movie? Am I the only one who remembers how badly it bombed?
According to what I’ve read the Brussels-based concept has been eliminated, probably due to fan outcry, I’d guess. I mean, come on; nobody’s gonna need a rescue from A Real Belgian Hero. The team is supposedly based in New York now. But Cobra is a Scottish arms dealer? What the fuck ever.
Although you can’t blame political correctness for these changes, I do think that there is something to be said for DanM’s point of view. Not every movie needs to be covered with bald eagles and American flags, but when being American is part of the very concept of the subject at hand, it makes little sense to eliminate that from a work based on the original. Especially when it was something as intrinsic as G.I Joe being a real American hero, or Superman standing for truth, justice, and the American way. These two properties are American born and American made; if people overseas don’t like that, then they can stay the fuck out of the theatre.
Guess what else Paramount’s in charge of? That’s right, the 2009 Captain America movie. I can’t wait to see if they “internationalize” that story.
This was not a PC move, this was Hasbro and Paramount selling out. And not selling out for guaranteed money, mind you, but for the mere hope of a bigger box office draw. Thanks for dumbing it down and laming it up, guys.