Happy St. Patrick’s Day to ya!
Top o' tha mornin' to ya! Let it never be said that there's no room for the green in the heart o' this Sci-Fi Guy. Today I be bringin' to ye a pair o' reviews more'n worthy of me pot o' gold! Of course I be referrin' ta Leprechaun and Leprechaun 2. Plus I'll be throwin' in a bonus review of me favorite Irish food, Lucky Charms. Éirinn go Brách!
I found Leprechaun on DVD. I spotted it on the shelf for $7. Never having seen it before, I typically would've passed without a second glance. But two things caught my eye. First was Jennifer Aniston. I had no idea she was in this movie. A quick check of the copyright dates on the back verified that this movie was probably made about 30 seconds before she started filming the first episode of F·R·I·E·N·D·S. Cheap horror movies are famous for tit scenes, and I'd be lying through my teeth if I pretended for an instant that the chance of getting a good look at Jennifer's full, perky early 90s breasts was not a major factor in my decision making process.
Second, the DVD is a double feature. Leprechaun 2 was included. And it was cheap. Instantly my head swam with green-dyed sugarplum visions of a grand St. Patty's Day article for the site. A celebration. In my mind I had this huge review planned. I could even Photoshop a big green logo for the big St. Patrick's Day event. I was going to gather up a shitload of things for you to download. A bunch of really cool crap. Stuff like the Leprechaun Loot slot machine game you can download by clicking the pic below. It was going to be glorious. People would talk about it for years.
Then I watched the movies.
Its fucking difficult to get excited about writing a review of lackluster movies. It would be a lot easier of they were outright terrible. I can deal with those. But they're not. They're just sort of there. Leprechaun is a the story of an old Irish guy who somehow manages to get a leprechaun's pot of gold, then blah blah blah blah blah.
Dude, its Friday night. I don't have a date, and I can't think of anything fun to do, but I sure as shit don't want to sit around writing this fucking article. Let me bottom line it for you: despite the fact that it stars Warwick Davis, who has been in more sci-fi than almost any other actor alive, Leprechaun just barely comes in on the low end of mediocre. And you never get to see Jen's tits. She doesn't even get remotely naked. It's not good. Don't watch it. 5 out of 10.
Leprechaun 2 is heads and tails above Leprechaun. About two thirds of the way through they run out of story to tell and it all gets a little bit retarded, but the lead actress is far hotter than Jennifer Aniston, and you do get to see her tits.
The story is far better, you don't have to have seen Leprechaun for it to make sense, there's loads more leprechaun mythology and folklore interwoven into the story, and Clint Howard is in it and makes a humorous reference to his role in Ice Cream Man. That's enough to earn it a 6 out of 10.
Oh, yeah, the Lucky Charms. Bought some just to review. I rarely eat cereal, and when I do its usually something adult and respectable, or sometimes Cinnamon Life if my sweet tooth is acting up. But Lucky Charms is basically breakfast candy. I was all excited, but I've gotta say I'd forgotten that Lucky Charms just aren't that great. They taste kind of like the ghost of sweetened oatmeal from a shitty grade school cafeteria; an empty sweet flavor with just a hint of cardboard. In honor of the fact that Leprechaun 2 has Tony Cox, the worlds most famous black midget, in it… wait. I don't know if that's true. I just made that up. But he's the only black midget I know besides Spike Lee, so I'm not erasing it. Just go with me on this one.
In honor of the fact that Leprechaun 2 has Tony Cox, the worlds most famous black midget, in it, I bought some Chocolate Lucky Charms as well. I debated it a long time because cereal costs about $35 a box nowadays. But look at it. It looks so fuckin' cheerful. After a few weeks I relented and brought Lucky's black cousin from the wrong side of the tracks home with me.
Upon opening the box, the nearly instantaneous explosion of chocolate aroma in the room was unbelievable. This stuff smells amazing, and the scent is strong. Dizzy and reeling, I walked out of the house to my car to escape the chocolate fumes, and I could still smell it after driving 30 miles away from the closed box where I left it in the kitchen, sealed in a plastic bag full of industrial strength room deodorizers and covered over with 3 feet of wet cement. I also made that up. I am cheeky and full of lies this evening. I suggest you don't believe anything I say. Including that.
I was thinking that with a smell so literally mouthwatering, there was simply no way this stuff could disappoint. Unfortunately, the taste is nothing at all like the smell. As a matter of fact, it tastes almost exactly like normal Lucky Charms. There's no chocolate flavor whatsoever, just that thick heady aroma. Lucky, you little green bastard. You let me down.
Happy St. Patrick's Day, peeps. I'm gonna go find a bottle of whiskey to crawl into. May the road rise to meetcha, and all that. See you on the other side, Ray.
March 19th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
Sci-Fi Guys music correspondent Mouser
Last night Dave and I made our way to Bogart's for the Dropkick Murphys show, a nice warm up for the weekend shows coming up in Boston. As usual the DKM's came out and showed how a kick ass show is done.
After killing the lights, the intro music "The Foggy Dew" by the Chieftains & Sinead O'Connor got the crowd going. As song as the song ended, out came the Murphys, opening with a blistering version of "For Boston." From there it was 90 minutes of pure street punk/Irish infused ecstasy. Nothing better than being in a packed pit with a bunch of rowdy fans pogoing, slamming, and singing along to the best band around.
The set was full of surprises, which is what makes them great. Never see the same show twice. Got "The Outcast" which I am not sure I have ever seen them play live, as well as "10 Years" which I have only heard a couple of times. Dave got to hear "Walkaway" which always goes over great live. I'm amazed they don't play that at every show as the crowd goes nuts for it. "Barroom Hero" and "Spicy McHaggis" were highlights as usual, as was "Workers Song" which is starting to become my favorite Dropkicks tune. In all we got 29 songs, so I'll skip the set list rundown. Should anyone really be interested in the whole list, click the Mouser and shoot me an email to let me know; I got one while on stage and I can send it to you.
The streak is still alive at 12 now. As soon as "Skinhead" started I was one of the first people over the barrier and on stage. Was on Ken's side and got to sing along to most of "Skinhead." For the last verse that Ken sings, he noticed I knew the words and let me finish the verse "What's the big fucking deal, he'll work for beer. Let 'em driving that fucking train!" Dave said he noticed most of the people on stage didn't really know most of the words so that gave me a little pride.
From there they closed with a great cover of "Alcohol," which Dave said he thought I was about the only one who knew the words to, so I got to shout in the mic a little more. Granted, this may not be a big deal to most of you, but for me to sing with the heroes is always a blast. Was a great warm up for the shows in four days.
5 shows in 3 days; can't wait!! Boston here we come!!
March 21st, 2007 at 11:02 am
^ Dropkick Murphys!!! YEAH! Sweet. They be on an Oz tour while I fly back to the “armpit of america” (term coined by a kai56 leader). How quaint.
Anyway, I haven’t watched the Leprechaun movies in ages. Why I hadn’t thought of watching them on St. Patricks Day I don’t know. We were going to watch Rudy and The Boondock Saints and somehow ended up watching Casino Royale among other movies.
March 23rd, 2007 at 7:54 pm
PEG!! Long time no see! Haven't seen Casino Royale yet, but I've heard good things. Rudy? Were there Irish people in that movie? I don't remember much of it.
Yeah, Dropkick Murphys are too damn good. They and Flogging Molly are my two favorite Irish flavored punk fixes this time of year. Actually, they're my favorite Celtic punk acts any time of year, but around St. Patty's Day I find myself listening to them even more. Of course, The Chieftans will always by numero uno for me when Irish music is concerned, especially Long Black Veil.
For any of you who are even slightly interested in traditional Celtic music, traditional music of the British isles, rock 'n' roll, or country, there's absolutely no reason in the world you shouldn't own Long Black Veil. In case you don't know, The Chieftains are the Irish group that have pretty much defined what traditional Irish musicians are capable of. They've been making records for about 45 years now, and they've recorded damn near every kind of music with every kind of artist, from "Goodnight Irene" with Willie Nelson to "Redemption Song" with Ziggy Marley. These guys kick serious ass.
My very favorite recording of my very favorite Irish song, "The Rocky Road To Dublin," is also on Long Black Veil. The Chieftains and my boys The Rolling Stones teamed up for this recording, and the result sounds like an angry sea shanty sung by drunken and heavily armed pirates. Its hands down the best Chieftans recording I've ever heard. You can't hear the best part, the jam session at the end, but you can hear a bit of it by clicking on the shot glass below.
March 26th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Sci-Fi Guys music correspondent Mouser
Well, as usual, Boston and the Murphys was fucking awesome!! (Yes, Mom, the f-bomb was necessary; just ‘awesome’ wouldn’t describe it). Even the 8 inches of snow couldn’t prevent a good time. This is a long one people so be ready to read for a while.
Thursday, Dave and I spent the afternoon hitting pubs downtown and watching some b-ball. Finally tried the chowder up there and it got high marks and became a staple of the diet. Got to spend a lot more time around the city, as I didn’t have any shows to go to that night.
Saturday was a busy day as well. Started out by hitting the Irish Pub again for a huge Irish breakfast and some Guinness. From there we were off to the first show of the day at the Arena. Was pretty cool to see them in a big arena, but lost a little bit from not having the usual intensity in the crowd. Got a similar set as the first night, which I expected for the big crowd. The floor was general admission but divided into a front and back section. Luckily, we were in the front section. With the hassle they had getting the arena show, during Skinhead it looked like only radio winners on stage. Technically, no one got up so Dave and I decided it didn’t count against the streak.
Saturday night alone made the trip worth it. Played in a real small club with probably only 250 people. Took great measures to keep scalpers from the tix so, it was nothing but diehards. There was no stage barrier and the stage was only about th igh high. While the pit was rough, no one was a dick and out to hurt anyone. Nothing but diehards screaming along and enjoying the moment. I was hoping it would be a lot of obscure stuff and the DKM delivered. They came out all guns blazing with a great version of Cadence to Arms into Do Or Die. We got some of the regular tunes, but mostly it was different songs that I had never gotten to hear or only heard once. I had been talking about always wanting to hear Pipebomb On Lansdowne and about midway thru they ripped into it which had me going nuts. Also, got to hear The Walking Dead which I had said I wanted to hear at least once that weekend. Ended with Skinhead and about everyone in the crowd on stage. Was pretty cool seeing Marc hang from the ceiling by his knees and playing guitar upside down during part of the encore. Dave commented that he thought there was a chance the stage might collapse from weight due to it’s small size.
After a late night, we were up early on Sunday to head to a charity breakfast hosted by the Murphys which they were playing acoustic. The raffle and people speaking were good, as was the breakfast. At 11, the bar opened, which Ken joked worked so he could keep the DKM fans quiet during the early part. The Murphys played probably about a 45 minute acoustic set. Was surprised how well their songs translated into an acoustic set and loved hearing them in a different context.
After a few beers and dinner, I was off back down to the Avalon for the last show on Sunday night. Great show and the Pipers where out with Scruffy to start the show again, but this time opening with Cadence to Arms. Sunday night ended up being sort of a mix of the Sat. shows. Some obscure stuff (finally got to hear Pipebomb On Lansdowne at a venue on Lansdowne) and more regulary played material. They kicked off the encore with The Who’s Baba O’Reily, which they pulled of tremendously, and then ended with Skinhead and Alcohol as they have been doing late. After the show even got a thanks from Ken for being at every show. Great to see a band that continues to do a lot for their fans and actually do seem to care.
Got home easily on Monday. No problems with the flight or luggage, which was a concern after the storm. Only 51 weeks or 358 days until the next time (damn Leap Year making me wait an extra day!!)
Until next time…
March 27th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
Chris
What do you think about Optimus?
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1808716430/photo/970423582
March 30th, 2007 at 11:53 pm
What’s up, Adam?
I think he looks like shit. I think every robot I’ve seen so far looks like shit. I think this whole fucking movie looks like one giant, steaming turd. The whole point of The Transformers was that these things went from vehicles to humanoid shaped robots. That’s why they were so cool. But these things look like just vaguely humanoid shaped piles of spare parts. A fucking child could design that.
I’ve tried to stay positive about this movie, but I’ve pretty much lost the ability to do that. I’m afraid that this movie is going to suck hard and ruin The Transformers franchise for any future movies or television shows. I think Hasbro should have maintained more control over the license and kept Bay in check from fucking this up like most of the other crap he’s made. I’m not hopeful about this film at all.