New Spider-Man 3 Images Released

Six new frames of the upcoming guaranteed box office golden child Spider-Man 3 were re- leased today. That's right: six whole frames. Can you believe it?! That's ¼ of a second! Its like getting a really short version of the film absolutely free! Click the pic to come on in and check 'em out.

 

Not much to say about these pics, folks, so I'm just going to get right to it. I don't know why these were leaked/stolen/released. They're just about the most boring pictures I can have imagined being offered as a sneak peek. I guess the studio guys didn't want to blow their load by showing all all the amazing thrills of Harry Osborn doing his taxes, or maybe the death defying scene where Aunt May pays her action bills. It's like considerate anal sex, folks; they're trying to ease us in and get us used to the new sensations before things get too hot and heavy.

 

If I'm not mistaken, this is the first time I've seen this particular logo. Most of the other ones just show the 3 over a black Spidey suit, but this one gives a hint of the Venom suit leaking from behind the 3. It reminds me of the black oil from The X-Files: Fight The Future. You know, that other story about a black, oily alien substance that invades a human host and turns the person evil. All in all, this is the best logo for the film I've seen yet.

Gwen Stacy. The new chick. Played by Bryce Dallas Howard. Damn; Opie's little girl grew up to be all kinds of fuckable. I don't know about you, but I think Peter Parker might have just had an upgrade. Considering Kirsten Dunst's recent habit of turning up looking more and more like something that the One Ring seduced and twisted with its evil powers, it could be time for old MJ to hit the bricks.

 

Fugmonster.

 

Well, I'll be damned. I thought the writers would go for a terrestrial origin for the Venom suit, but this pic seems to show something moving through the atmosphere quickly enough to burn the air around it. The only things that fall that quickly are either something from orbit, or Anna Nicole on TrimSpa. SNAP! Oh no you di'int! Oh yes I did!

Seriously, I'm trying not to read too much into this, because it's just one frame with no context. But it looks to me like the movie may have stayed somewhat true to the comic, having the Venom suit come from outer space. I never thought they'd go that route. Then again, I never thought I'd write "SNAP!" in an article, so what the hell do I know? I do know this: you can click the pic for a slightly larger version. Let me know if you guys see something I can't.

Here we have Spidey being attacked by Venom. You'll note the visually flawless muscle prosthetics on Tobey's right arm. Look how seamlessly the flesh tones match up with his real skin, which you can see on the back of his hand. Mucho impressive, is it not? I mean, his arm doesn't look like it has jaundice even in the slightest. Fortunately, given a $250 million budget, the special effects and makeup wizards at Sony/Marvel somehow managed to pull crazy shit like this off. I'm teling you, these guys are pros.

This isn't a new pic. I'm just really looking forward to seeing Sandman on the big screen.

 

That's all she wrote, folks. Drop us a line and tell us what you think. 

3 Responses to “New Spider-Man 3 Images Released”

1. Chris Says:
   March 14th, 2007 at 7:34 pm

   
   Bradley E. Delp
   June 12, 1951 – March 9, 2007

2. Chris Says:
   March 16th, 2007 at 2:47 pm

   Thanks go out to Big Nate for the heads-up on these pics, by the way. Forgot to drop the props in the article.

   Another thing – unless this is an internet hoax, apparently the pic of Spidey punching through Sandman was done with as much practical photography (using the camera to take a picture of a special effect, rather than adding it to the film later) as possible. That’s the way a lot more movies should be made. Apparently Sam Raimi learned well the lesson that George Lucas taught us; too many special effects will utterly ruin a special effects based movie. So instead, they got a real martial artist to throw the punch, and he did it with a fist he didn’t even have.

   

   This guy’s name is Baxter Humby, also known as “The One-Armed Bandit,” and he’s a professional badass. He’s the current International Muay Thai Council (IMTC) World Super Welterweight Champion. Humby holds a number of different title belts including IMTC World Middleweight Champion, IKKC USA Kickboxing Champion, and IKBA international Kickboxing Champion. And he did it all with no right hand. Watch as he owns this guy:

   
   Dude is so dangerous they make him wear a glove on his stump.

   Humby was born without much of his right arm, and didn’t even start studying martial arts until he was 17. Didn’t seem to hinder him too much; he ran the Canadian National Team in Barcelona in 1992 and in Berlin in 1994. He won the Canadian Super Welterweight Kickboxing Championship in 1996. His current record is 53 wins, 10 losses, and 1 draw/called fight. And he also has black belts in Taekwondo and Sik Tai (here in the US, Sik Tai is what we usually think of when we think of Thai kickboxing).

   

   For Spider-Man 3, they wanted a guy who could throw a professional looking gut punch into Thomas Haden Church without actually killing him, which, in retrospect, was kindly and considerate. So they suited Humby up and added in the sand, the fist, and the Spidey eyes digitally. The result is pretty sweet looking.

   

   
   baxterhumby.com

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   March 19th, 2007 at 4:36 am

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