Chris, first of all, sorry for the deletion of your original post. I notice you posted it multiple times, I’m assuming because it didn’t show up initially. The reason your post didn’t appear is that it we get quite a lot of spam here, and any comment that exceeds a certain length is automatically placed into the moderation queue to await myself or Q to allow it on the site. If you post anything that doesn’t show up immediately, more than likely its being held in queue for whatever reason. Rest assured that we will get to it as soon as we see it. In any case, Q was obviously unaware that I had already looked into this and approved your post from the moderation queue, so he didn’t mean any harm in deleting it. He’s just trying to protect us from an infringement standpoint.

Secondly, great job. You’ve written one hell of a review. I thought I was the only Chris who wrote book-length reviews around here. I’ve been a big fan of your website for quite a while. I have especially enjoyed your breakdown of the numerous Terminator models. You’ve got a lot to be proud of on your site.

As far as your post is concerned, I liked it so much I want to make it a front page article. Q had a good idea; I’m going to include pictures. I’ll also add my own commentary (you and I disagree on a couple of points, which should make for some fun debate among our readers). I’ll link the article here as soon as its done. And sorry again for all the confusion.

Hi, I’m Quentin, webmaster and sometime-contributing Sci-Fi Guy. This entire post (something like eighteen pages) was simply a copy’n'paste of the following site:

It’s an entertaining review, no doubt, but since neither I or are fans of blatantly ripping off other sites without giving credit, I’ve provided the direct link — it’s even got pictures.]

“Before the movie came out I read a bad review on some website and proceeded to email this guy about how I was going to fuck him up for writing nasty shit about superman.”

Pay attention, people. This tells us a lot about Kurtis…

“After seeing that piece of shit of a movie I should direct all of my anger at the writers, director and the dumb cocksuckers who actually call this a superman movie.”

You know, even if you disagree with me as vehemently as Kurtis does, you have still taken the time to read an article and post a comment, and I appreciate that. But Kurtis, you need some fucking medication, man.

“To the reviewer of Superman Returns on this website, FUCK YOU. I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO FUCK YOU UP FOR PROMOTING A WORTHLESS MOVIE.”

I am the reviewer of this movie. My name is Chris. That’s why I named the article Chris reviews “Superman Returns.” I know it may seem like a clever attempt at subterfuge, or perhaps a twisted ploy on my part to be postmodern or artsy by assuming a false identity, but really I’m just Chris. My name is not a secret; it was the first word you read in the article. No need to refer to me as “the reviewer.”

You would love to fuck me up? Well, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, my friend, but time, lethargy, and a poor diet have beaten you to the punch. The Fucking Chris Up Train pulled out of the station a LONG time ago. Also, just as a point of interest: I don’t promote movies, I review them. Promoting movies means I would lie about them and get paid for it. Reviewing them means I pay to see them, then tell the truth about them online in as amusing a manner as possible for people to enjoy for free. Its something I do in order to interact with pleasant individuals like yourself with whom I share common interests.

The writing sucked balls just like your mother was last night, that fuckin’ aids infected whore.

Wait, you know Mom?

“The writers of this movie should be fucked in their asses along with anybody who promotes this movie as something watchable.”

Dude, you may want to rethink this. Bryan Singer is gay. I’m not entirely sure that fucking him in the ass would work as a punitive measure. It seems more like a reward, given the circumstances. How about if you make him eat pussy? That would probably be a bit more along the lines of the sexually-based torture/punishment you had in mind. You hear that Bryan Singer?! EAT A PUSSY! EAT MY MOTHER’S PUSSY, THAT FUCKIN’ AIDS INFESTED WHORE!

Chris’s note: Kurtis chose to post this well thought out line of text over and over again. A LOT. I’ve deleted several pages worth of the above text from this comment. I’ve also deleted another comment altogether which consisted of nothing but the above text. That comment was even longer than this one originally. Kurtis, I think the point was made with your initial post. You’re free to post here any time you like, chief, but forcing my readers to scroll through all this nonsense is not going to fly on this site. Don’t do it again.

Bradon Routh = Good, he wasn’t given anything to work with, don’t blame him for the piece of shit that is known as Superman Returns.
Kate Bosworth = Bad
Superman’t Suit = Whatever, who gives a fuck
Kevin Spacey = Alright, but we don’t need FUCKIN’ LEX LUTHOR as a villian, do almost the same shit from the original movie. We needed a balls out action movie with an opponent supes could take on fist to fist along with a solid romance between lois and clark and superman

lois and superman romance = horribly written
lois and clark interaction = horrible
the fuckin kid = WTF
the look of the movie = seriously, IT IS FUCKIN’ DRAB!!!!!!
“superman dies” = fuckin’ stupid, god damn dumb ass writers
the story = horrible, horrible, horrible

The writers of this movie should be fucked in their asses along with anybody who promotes this movie as something watchable.

And Bryan Singer, FUCK YOU. How in the hell could you fuck up Superman Returns.

Thanks for letting us know about the DVD! I don’t have it yet, but I’m hoping to get the 14 disc Ultimate Man Of Steel collection for Christmas. If I do, I can guarantee you and everyone else a HUGE review of that set. Check the Chritstmas article on the front page (just scroll up to the top of this page and click our logo) after Christmas to see what Christmas goodies I got, and if its among them, you can bet there will be a review. Thanks for reading!