Do you like vampires? Do you like monsters? Do you like blood and guts? Do you like going to the movies and reading subtitles because the movie is in a foreign language? If you said yes to any or all of these questions, then Ночной Дозор (Night Watch: ИOCHИOI DOZOR, for those of you who don’t speak Russian) is one you should run right out and see. Seriously, drop what you are doing right now and go see it. I don’t care if you’re at work, taking care of children, or in the hospital; tell your boss to piss off, drop the kids off at grandma’s, pull the IV out of your arm, and go see this movie. NOW!

Or you could just read my review.

I really knew very little about Night Watch before I went to see it. In fact, the only reason I even went is because I saw the movie poster in the lobby of The Kentucky Theater (located in beautiful downtown Lexington, Kentucky) before Chris and I went to see a midnight showing of Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters freakin’ ruled on the big screen, by the way, but that’s a whole different review that I’m sure Chris would be more than willing to write. Anyway, the Night Watch poster caught my eye, because it looked like it was a movie about vampires, which, if you actually took the time to read my bio… in fact, go now and read it, I’ll wait…

…you would know that I’m into vampire stuff. The other reason I was so interested in this movie is because it is Russian, and I like Russian stuff. I have a master’s degree in Russian history and lived there for 3 months. When I saw the poster, I thought, “Cool. This movie combines two things that I like; Russia and vampires” I pointed this out to Chris, and of course he said that he would be totally interested in seeing it.

Since this movie is 1) foreign, and 2}not a giant Hollywood blockbuster piece of shit, it was not showing in the local mega-giant-rip-off googolplex. It was in a limited engagement at The Kentucky Theater. Let me plug the Kentucky for a minute: this is a great place to see movies. It is an old historic theater that doesn’t show the usual crap. They show independent films, art house films, foreign films, etc. There are two theaters, one big and one small, that are really incredible. They have both been restored, and the architecture in both is great, plus it’s a lot cheaper to see a movie there. They also have a Midnight Movie series, in which they show some great movies. In two weeks alone, Chris and I saw The Blues Brothers and Ghostbusters on the big screen. I really enjoy supporting the Kentucky because they show great movies that your local rip-off cineplex doesn’t have the balls to show. For those of you living in the Cincy area it is only about an hour and thirty minute drive, and, unlike seeing movies at the Esquire in Clifton, your chances of getting shot are very slim. If you’re interested in reading more about the Kentucky or looking at their upcoming schedule (they have a great summer series) check out the website here.

Okay, back to the review. Before actually seeing the movie I did some reading on-line and watched the trailer, because I had no idea what the hell this thing was supposed to be about. It turns out that the movie is actually only one in a trilogy, which is based on a trilogy of bestselling books. The movie came out in Russia back in 2002, and wasn’t available on Region 1 DVD. Watching the trailer gave me a little more insight into the movie, but it didn’t do the actual movie justice at all.

Chris and I chose to go to an afternoon showing and there were actually a few other people in the theater, which kind of surprised me, since this movie hadn’t been advertised on TV or promoted in anyway that I was aware of. Like I said, I never would have known about it had it not been for a chance encounter with the poster. Anyway, we didn’t know what to expect out of the movie except that it was supposed to have vampires in it, and that it was in Russian, so we were gonna hafta read subtitles.

All I can say is that this movie was about WAY more than Russian vampires. Without giving too much away, here’s the basic rundown: two groups of supernatural forces, the Light and the Dark, have been battling it out since medieval times, but decided to call a truce. The Night Watch is in charge of keeping the Dark forces in check. There are certain rules that the Dark forces have to follow, but the Night Watch isn’t just allowed to go around killing anyone who breaks these rules. They actually have a system for dealing with those who don’t want to cooperate with the rules. Unfortunately, the Apocalypse is about to happen, and that’s really straining the relations between the two groups.

The movie is set in present day Moscow, and while there are vampires, there are also, shape shifters, psychics, witches, were-creatures, ect. Most humans are unaware of the supernatural beings around them, and only those that have “the Gift” can see the supernatural. There are some great action scenes in this movie, which are not completely CGI driven. In fact, one of the more refreshing things about the movie is that it wasn’t completely CGIed out. Don’t get me wrong, there is some CGI, especially when the shape shifters morph, but it is used very sparingly. The story, the actors, and the action sequences in the movie are really so well done that they don’t need a bunch of CGI junk just for the sake of CGI, unlike some sci-fi action movies try to use CGI effects tp compensate for a weak story and bad acting *COUGH* Star Wars * COUGH*. A lot of people have compared this movie to the Matrix, but I just didn’t see the similarities. I didn’t think of the Matrix once when I was watching it.

I’m not going to detail anymore of the story here, because there are a few surprises in the movie that would be ruined if I wrote about the plot in any real serious detail. But if you’re into all kinds of sci-fi creatures, a good story, good acting, lots of action, and aren’t completely put off by reading sub-titles, I would tell you to go out and see this movie right now. Unfortunately, it came and went in theaters; it was only in the Kentucky for about two weeks. But fear not! It will be available in Region 1 DVD format on June 20th; look for my review of the DVD later in June. The second movie in the trilogy, Day Watch, has already been released in Russia, but I’m not sure when Fox SearchLight will release it in the states. Google Night Watch and Day Watch to check out the trailers if you’re interested.

Do what you feel and keep both feet on the wheel; you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. So, until next time…