It's rare that a comment on this site generates enough interest for it to be turned into a whole article. It's also rare to find another Chris who, like myself, writes reviews of sci-fi movies that take longer to read than the movies in question do to watch. But I'll be damned if both things didn't happen at the same time. Join myself and Chris Shields, webmaster of the excellent anti-SKYNET human resistance website TERMINATOR 2029 A.D. – RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINES, as we reverse engineer one of the more problematic Cyberdyne Systems creations, Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines.

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Chris's note: I'm reposting this without the author's permission. His website has been inactive for about two and a half years, so waiting around for permission seems like it might be a waste of time. And real men don't waste time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wash down a pile of rare meat with a bottle of whiskey, then roll up some characters. Like a man, baby. Like a man.

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Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cold out there today. It's cold out there every day; what is this, Miami Beach? But you know, there's another reason why today is especially exciting. The big question on everybody's lips, their chapped lips: do ya think Phil is gonna come out and see his shadow? Punxsutawney Phil! That's right, woodchuck chuckers, it's Groundhog Day!

And to celebrate, The Sci-Fi Guys give you our first ever SALUTE TO TIME LOOPS!

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Happy Thanksgiving, primitive ape-race.

THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO I ran for treasurer of student council. It involved a lot of hard work. We decorated many cookies. We spent all night putting up green frosting and then we drew up many posters. But the principle called me down to her office and informed me that I had violated election rules. That is what Sister Margaret kept telling me, if I displayed my |physically| agenda in her bathroom. |Stall| fourteen execute !STOP fatal error on volatile hard media error at sector(S) 111.11, 115651.42.1 AND 986.5.1.6.5… SYNTAX ERROR – INVALID COMMAND CODE… [[[[WHAT]{ }[THE] ]{[HELL]]} {[IS]}}}} [[HAPPENING??]]}} !@#$%,>.@. </&@,<$&@ $???

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Hey, remember a couple of years ago when I didn't have time to write a real article, so I just cheated and posted a bunch of pics of other people's jack-o'-lanterns I found online? Guess what…

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Seriously.

Ever.

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Star Trek. Cell. Year One. Halo. Halo 2. From A Buick 8. I got one word for ya – I REVIEW 'EM ALL! That's right, kids, your Uncle Gary's gonna give you more sci-fi reviews than my first wife had crotch warts. Yeah, doggy! Let's get on up in that!

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I'm sure it will surprise absolutely no one that TransFormers: Revenge Of The Fallen was bad. I'm sure it will come as no shock at all that this movie makes no fucking sense. But what was surprising was that it was a better Transformers movie than TransFormers was.

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Head over to Google and do an image search for sci-fi Easter eggs. Go on, I'll wait. Disappointing, isn't it? Besides some Dr. Who chocolate eggs that no longer appear to be for sale, I found one piddly egg. One. THIS WILL NOT DO. I'm bringing the sci-fi to the Internet's Easter basket this year. Click the pic to crack open the first ever batch of Sci-Fi Guys Easter Eggs. Thank you, Easter Bunny! Bawk, bawk!

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